Friday, January 29, 2010

7 Quick Takes (Volume 67)

1) Warning: I'm very uninspired today. You may want to save yourself a few minutes and stop right here.

2) I think it's time for a disclaimer. Some of you comment about how fun it would be to live in my house or how lucky I am to have the marriage I do. I am the first person to praise God for my family and husband, but you must know there is a lot of ugly that goes on inside our house too. My kids bicker with each other like all kids do. I get angry and irritated and slam cabinet doors like the rest of you. My husband and I are very boring in the evenings, spending most of our time on computers. Many days I can't wait for all the loud in my house to go to bed.

There is nothing to envy in my family. We have plenty of garbage. I don't tell my tales to put my family on a pedestal, but hoping you will look for the same silliness, tenderness and joy in your own worlds. It's there. I've seen it. There are plenty of things which make life sweet for you. You have access to the same inane commercials I do. Your kids say hilarious things. I see the private jokes you laugh about during church, the comfort with each other which is visible, yet unspoken.

I challenge you to look for the goofy and the beautiful in your own world. I guarantee it's there.

3) Ladies Man, Miss Innocent One and I took a trip to the grocery store. Traipsing down the coffee/tea aisle, Miss Innocent noticed the strawberry drink mix.

Miss Innocent One: Hey, Mom, remember when I was little, you'd let me get a bottle of strawberry milk to drink while we shopped.

Me: Yep. It was supposed to keep you busy.

Ladies Man: Hey, can we go get some now?

They were getting restless, playing games with the cart, driving their mother slightly cuckoo. I figured running to the other end of the store might be good for them. . .and me.

Me: Sure.

Retrieving their prize and checking out, Ladies Man popped his milk open the minute he sat down. He took a big swig and made an announcement.

Ladies Man: I just tasted my childhood.

Why does this kid talk like he's thirty-five years old? Sheesh.

4) Apparently Drummer Boy is learning how to put the smack down (I like to think I taught him well). In his role as drum line instructor he's getting bolder in eliminating distractions (a.k.a. other kids meandering through rehearsal). He's feeling more grown up and stopped by to pick up a tie to wear to their first evaluation show. I think he's even standing a little taller!

I guess responsibility suits him well.

5) Growing weary of the bad language and inappropriate behavior in the halls at school, Ladies Man and a friend decided to make a statement. In a bold move, they attached Sin-O-Meters to the outside of their lockers to make others think about their actions.

The idea is when someone lets a cuss word slip or makes fun of a classmate or is generally a jerk, the pointer moves out of the green into another area. I made sure Ladies Man planned on including himself in the measuring and he assured me he was the first person he'd nail. The Sin-O-Meters have been up all week. When I asked Ladies Man how they were going, he said, "I think it's helping. People are more careful around our lockers. Of course, there's a lot of people who make fun of them, but I don't care what anyone thinks. It's a good reminder for all of us."

I need one of those gadgets for my refrigerator, my van, my computer, my laundry room. . .

6) The kids beat us to the van and locked the doors. When my husband reached for the door handle, he somehow set off the theft alarm. The horn resounded in the middle of a busy parking lot at a high traffic time of day, "Honk. Honk. Honk. Honk. Honk. . ." The kids laughed hysterically, while their father had a meltdown from the humiliation and I frantically flipped through the owner's manual trying to figure out how to disarm the stupid thing. We were a sight, I tell you. I wasn't sure if I should laugh along with the kids or slip my husband some valium!

We got the horn to stop, but never did figure out how we did it. The next time you hear someone's horn droning on incessantly, look for our motley crew. I can hear those banjos again.

7) We're eating dinner and a rumble comes from Miss Innocent One's direction, specifically, from her backside. She and Ladies Man giggle.

Kevin: That doesn't sound like it's good for you.

Miss Innocent One: Ladies Man says it's a sign of health.

Me: What does he know about it?

Miss Innocent One: He knows a lot about it. He farts all the time!

On that sour note, I'm calling this done. Check out more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary. Have a great weekend, friends.


Rachelle said...

Good stuff! I love the advice about looking for the humor in your own families. That's what keeps us mothers sane. BTW-Cole can tell you why your alarm went off, and how to stop it : )

Jaime Kubik said...

I would have loved to see the fam in the van with the alarm sounding!

Brenda said...

You puthe key in the ignition. Unfortunately I have a problem with setting mine off.

Anonymous said...

Tami, you always give me a good chuckle. Thanks for sharing honestly about your "real" family behind closed doors.

Funny story...

Ladies Man: I just tasted my childhood.

Why does this kid talk like he's thirty-five years old? Sheesh.


Tami said...

Brenda, we DID THAT! We were actually driving home with the horn honking all the way!

Tami said...

Rachelle, tell Cole I'll be talking to him Sunday!