A Text From God

It was a bad day.

A little thing shook me and I got upset. Not just upset. Angry. Down right mad. At God. I felt like He let me down, like He didn't care, like my efforts didn't matter, like He didn't notice or care and I just had to suck it up and do what He said.

And I didn't want to. I thought I deserved better.

But God is God and when you follow Him you don't have a choice in these matters, so I spent the day trying to move on. Without success. Every time I thought about it, the tears (and anger) came. I prayed about it, very honestly I might add (read: I let Him know exactly how I felt). He knew anyway and there was no point in hiding it. I prayed and cried and whined and pouted.

By the end of the day I knew what He wanted from me. I knew I had to do it. But I wasn't happy about it. He had disappointed me. (For those of you feeling very worried for me right now, it's okay. God is big enough to handle these sorts of emotions. Have you ever read the Psalms?!)

The next morning I was still a little upset, but resigned myself to the fact that you can't question God. There was nothing I could do about it. I mean, how do you change God's mind? If it's the plan, you gotta follow it. It doesn't matter if you don't like it.

Yeah. I probably didn't have the best attitude about it.

But that didn't stop God from dazzling, from reminding me of His love amid my displeasure. In something as simple as a text message, He reminded me that He cares.

The friend who typed the text was totally unaware of the angst, anger, and disappointment of the day before. She had no idea. Her words made me stare in disbelief.

"I dreamed about you last night. In my dream I was hugging you and you were very, very sad. I thought I better check and make sure you're okay."

How could she know?! She couldn't! I felt as if I got a text from God Himself saying, "I see you, Tami. I know this is hard for you. It's going to be okay. I love you."

And suddenly the words of Psalm 73 came to life. It was the beginning of my surrender, the start to giving in to God's perfect plan with an attitude of trust rather than defeat.

When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.

Psalm 73:21-24

Though I was hurt and angry, He was with me the whole time. He understood. He made sure I knew He did.

He sent me a text.

What causes you to distrust God? Have you talked with Him about it? Are you willing to give it up to follow His perfect plan? When your heart's not in it, will you trust He is with YOU always?

When you're willing to get that personal with Him, you too may get a text from God.



Photo Credit: Johnathan Lyman

Stepping Into the Unknown

My adventure to Africa begins in ten days.

I'm freaking out a little bit.

I dream about it every night and wake each morning needing a few deep breaths to slow down my heart. As I cross things to do off my list, new details come to mind and get added. I've been to a foreign country before, but not in a culture so different from my own.

I'm excited to learn and experience and see new things, but I admit the vast amount of unknowns scare me some. I don't know the people I'll be traveling with. I don't know what to expect when I get there. I don't know what will be asked of me. I don't know if my heart can take what God may show me. I don't know how to be away from my own people that long. I don't know how life works there. I don't know if I'll be able to communicate effectively.

So many unknowns.

But isn't that how all of life is? I cried leaving my kids in kindergarten because I didn't know what they'd encounter. I hardly slept the night before my first classes in college. I even have a hard time moving the furniture around in my house because what if the new arrangement has a weird vibe? Life constantly throws unknowns at us: health issues we don't know how to deal with, moving to a different community, kids growing up and leaving our watchful care, business decisions and their accompanying ramifications we can't predict . . . the list is endless.

How do we deal with these unknowns? How can I face them without constant fear?

I can't do it myself.

I remember Who goes with me. Always.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Though I step into the unknown, I am never alone.

You aren't either, friend. No matter what you face, if you are a child of God, He will uphold you, strengthen you, help you in the days ahead, good or bad.

As Paul told Timothy, I know whom I have believed and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.

I KNOW whom I believe. He is good and His ways are perfect, even when I don't understand them, even when they seem scary. So when I get on that plane in ten days, I'll remember WHO directs my steps, my days, my life. I'll focus on the One who loves me and has a perfect plan. I'll rest in His assurance that He'll be with me every step of the journey.

I pray you carry that same belief and trust, my friend, for when you do, stepping into the unknown might be easier.

I know whom I have believed. Do you? Press on, then, with the confidence of His presence. We are never alone.



Photo Credit: Tom Natt

I Have to Hope

I look at it and don't see how it will work out. I pray about it, all the time, and have for years, yet things don't seem to change.

But You whisper, "Trust Me."

There's much to be thankful for and I am, but the issue persists. It's not a life and death situation, but it's close to my heart and I want better. But it doesn't come.

You say, "There's a plan. Hang on."

TRUST Me.

You leave me with a choice.

I can lay awake at night and worry and rack my brain for a solution I won't come up with or I can trust You, choose to leave it in Your hands.

Easier said than done.

But the more times I have to do it, the stronger my resolve grows. I WILL believe You, because I have to. If I don't trust, beyond all I can see, that You'll take care of it, I have no hope and then what am I left with?

Fear.

Worry.

Anxiety.

But WITH You?

The possibility of hope and peace.

That is what faith is, isn't it, believing what we cannot see? Isn't this what Abraham is commended for?

Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing that he would become the father of many nations. For God had said to him, “That’s how many descendants you will have!” And Abraham’s faith did not weaken, even though, at about 100 years of age, he figured his body was as good as dead—and so was Sarah’s womb.

Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. And because of Abraham’s faith, God counted him as righteous.

Romans 4:18-22

We can have that same faith, friends, but it comes at a price. We'll have to deliberately choose to trust His way of handling it, though it may not be the way we like and take far longer than is comfortable. We have to trust God above all else, no matter what, even with our hardest problems, our toughest challenges. We have to.

What is the alternative?

Without blind, child-like faith, there is no hope, is there? And who can live without hope? Who can get up each morning without the possibility of better, without thinking of what a new day may bring?

I choose to believe God's got it handled.

I choose hope.



Photo Credit: cobalt123

When They Seem to Be Slipping Away

Glory be, my readers came through with some topics for us to discuss. The first one comes from Anonymous who writes:

Tami, I am struggling with a child who was raised in a loving Christian home who is slipping away from us, but more importantly, away from God. Please send some words to comfort me in my worry for him and my guilt that I might have not done everything I should have.

Oh my dear Anonymous, any woman with grown children has surely asked these questions, haven't they? I have laid awake many nights struggling with decisions made out of my control. I have worried and stewed and asked God for intervention. I've wondered if God heard my prayers at all when He doesn't answer how I wish. I see the worst case scenario at the end of the road and panic.

I guess this is a long way of saying, "I HEAR YA SISTER!"

I wish I had a pretty answer for you. To be honest I've felt frustrated with God's consistent answer to me.

Trust Me.

I know. Not what you really want to hear. I can't tell you how many times He's told me this or variations of this.

There's a plan, Tami.
You can't see the big picture.
For God causes all things to work together for the good . . .
My time frame is not the same as yours.
Trust the plan.

I have no choice. If I want peace at all, I have to trust. I have to believe God's got it handled and do the only thing I can.

Pray my little heart out, relying on scriptures which tell me those prayers and my persistence matter.

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you fathers, if your son asks for[a] a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!
Luke 11:9-13

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’”

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?"
Luke 18:1-7

. . . The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:16

I don't let Satan suggest I have failed. It's not that I haven't made mistakes. Everyone does. But what good comes from carrying that guilt? What do we say to our children if we hold onto it? Do we suggest they're horrible people? Do you want to tell them that? Not me. And how much is "enough?" How do you know you've done everything you can? We drive ourselves nuts dwelling on that. Instead, let's focus Truth.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

I choose to believe God's got it, despite my failures.

Finally, I love like there's no tomorrow. Smiles, hugs, well-placed words from my kids absolutely undo me. I keep going back for more. I will be involved in my kids' lives, hoping my presence reminds them where they've come from and who they are. I will demonstrate that I am in their corner and they are on our team. Forever. I will always love them.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:6-7

What can you do when you're worried about your grown children?

Trust God.
Pray like crazy.
Don't let Satan beat you up.
Love, love, love.

I'm sorry, friend. There are no easy answers. As a friend of mine used to say on her blog, "Never give up." Never. Ever.

Thank you dear Anonymous, for having the courage to ask a tough question many people struggle with. I appreciate your boldness in coming forth.

What would you say to Anonymous?



Photo Credit: Thai Jasmine (Smile..smile...Smile..)

Enduring Days

It was an enduring day, where my spirit drooped and mood continually sunk. I was tired and crabby and anything that could go wrong did. I tried to press on, to do the next thing, but little annoyances kept poking, irritating, defeating. Exhausted and overwhelmed, I wondered what good could possibly come from a day like this. All I could think was, "It's too much, God."

On an enduring day, I feel like God's abandoned me, like He doesn't care. My head knows what's true, but my feelings can't catch up. I pray through tears and ask God where He is and He answers gently.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11

Enduring days certainly aren't pleasant, but are they God's discipline? Are they teaching us where we stand in the world? Are they training us to trust in what we can't see? Are they making us stronger, more durable? Do they help us learn to press on?

It's hard to see how broken down cars and weary bodies and confrontations and busy schedules and dinners that don't get done and weepy hormones reap righteousness. How can enduring possibly make me peaceful?

If I can ride the wave of a bad day or week or month or season, aren't I learning a deeper trust in God? If I trust more, do I worry less? Isn't that peace? If I press on though I don't feel it, aren't I displaying faith in action? If I can do it in a little thing like a bad day, can I do it in harder things? Isn't He teaching me to act rightly, no matter what the circumstance?

Enduring days aren't pleasant and frankly sap the energy right out of me, but the promise of great reward--a harvest of righteousness and peace--may help me get through them.

One moment at a time.

How do you make it through your enduring days?



Photo Credit: jawshouamoua

Why Can't It Be Easy?

I'm taking this week off to celebrate with my husband. I hope you enjoy this from the archives, originally posted October 13, 2006.


Have you ever prayed about something for years and not gotten the answer you've wanted? Have you put all your trust in God and seen few results (at least not the ones you were looking for)? Do you, like me, often ask God, "Why can't it be easy, just this once?"

I admit I am jealous of people who pray for something for a short time and get the miraculous answer they're looking for. I try really hard to be happy for them, I do. But there's always so much I don't understand.

For instance, a woman in my Bible study group asked for prayer for her brother-in-law diagnosed with lung cancer. We prayed (along with many others, I'm sure) and he responded well to treatment. The SAME Bible study group prayed for my own father with the SAME diagnosis and he only lived a few months. Why? What made the difference?

My husband and I have wanted to get rid of a rental house for seven years. This week, relatives of ours had a yen to sell their home and had it done before the sign made it in the yard. Why is it so easy for some people? No, that's not my real question. What I really want to know is, "God, why can't it be easy for me?"

Why does life have to be so hard? Why do I have to be the patient one? Why do thoughts continually run through my mind trying to figure everything out? Why do I have to feel everything so deeply? Why must I always wait on the Lord? The only answer I ever get is, "TRUST ME."

I must acknowledge I do see some progress in myself. I must have learned something having to wait on God. I don't sweat it like I used to when our renters are late in paying. When an unexpected car repair costs more than its original purchase price I think, "Okay, God, You're going to have to take care of that one," and don't lose any sleep over it. I rejoice over the deteriorating nature of my couch because I know God promises to meet my NEEDS. A new couch will soon be a NEED. See? Progress. Looking back, would I want things to have been easy and never grown? Mmmm. . .I don't think so.

This summer we saw the movie Click. It's about a man who obtains a remote which controls his life. He discovers he can fast forward through the tough stuff, the arguments, the mundane, the annoying. But as he gets in the habit of fast forwarding through these, he notices his life flashing before him. By the end of his life he realizes he has missed it all by avoiding what is hard. It was a good illustration that taking away the lows takes away our highs. We rejoice more when the road has been difficult than when it is smooth sailing. Just as I have greater joy in watching one of my kids conquer a fear than seeing them maintain, God delights in seeing us overcome. Our hard times give us reason to celebrate later.

And there is reward in getting through the tough stuff. I am stronger, wiser, more trusting. Every time I have to do something the "hard" way, I gain more confidence that God is my security net. There is no replacement for that kind of peace. It is a gift, albeit hard won. We are in training, people. It doesn't always feel good at the time, but it will be of tremendous benefit later.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11)

I can't honestly say I'd ask for the tough stuff, but I won't bemoan it either. God knows what's best for me. He knows what will bring me the most good. I have to trust Him and do my best to trudge through the valleys. Who knows what might be on the other side?

Being Short-sighted?

I'm taking this week off to celebrate with my husband. I hope you enjoy this from the archives, originally posted July 16, 2006.


I've been worrying about money AGAIN. It seems our monthly expenses keep going up. It's nothing new, but it gets so tiresome. I woke up feeling depressed about it today and asked, "Lord, we work so hard to do things for You and it seems we never get ahead. Why do we always have to worry about money?" (Whenever I ask Him this He always answers, "You don't. Let me." I'm getting better. Practice, practice, practice. UGH! Do you think it would all go away if I actually learned this lesson?)

I went to church and heard about farm families in our community getting hit by hail and a woman whose family has had MORE than their share of health problems having to go to Mayo Clinic and felt guilty for being a whiny baby again. These people's losses were so much greater. Thinking about the problems of those around me made me a little weepy. Why does this life have to be so hard? I don't get it, Lord.

I know I can't see the big picture and I'm not supposed to. If I could see it all I wouldn't have to trust God. I wouldn't grow in my faith. I get that, but I don't necessarily like it.

Our pastor preached on Deuteronomy 10:12-13 and asked us to examine whether we truly obey God in every area of our lives. Nothing blatantly sinful came to mind, but I still asked God, "What don't I obey?"

I got a resounding, "DO NOT FEAR."

Yowsa. It's all over the Bible, over and over and over. And yet I still fear. Why do I worry? I'm afraid.

I wish I had eternal eyes. I wish I would always remember "our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (2 Corinthians 4:17) God, in His mercy, is providing me opportunities to learn. I need to embrace the tough times. Through them, I will learn not to fear.

Forgive me, Lord, for wishing away growth. My "problems" are proof You are still working on me. Thank you for Your graciousness. Forgive my short-sightedness.

Why The Waiting?

I'm convinced God is the genius behind automated phone systems and Christmas return waiting lines.

After all, He's a master at leaving us in limbo, springing the unexpected our way, forcing us into unfamiliar territory. We beg for His favor and relief only to sit in what feels like a stalled car. You know what I'm talking about?

He says, "Don't be anxious about anything, but with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." But when I follow that and "give it to God," the answers don't come any quicker. In my experience God usually requires a holding pattern, enough time to wonder if He's heard or will ever intervene. There's no explanation for what we're waiting for, only a resounding, "Trust Me."

Sigh. Is it just me or is that really tough?

Why does God work this way? What is He shaping by making us wait? Is He giving us time to relinquish our own ideas? Building our faith muscles? Trying to give us an eternal perspective? Teaching us to give it up already?

The Jews in the Old Testament waited for a Messiah. The Christians in the New Testament wait for His return. We wait for answers, His rescue, for Him.

Why all the waiting?

God gives a clue in the middle of His big faith chapter in the Bible, Hebrews 11.

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. and they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country--a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

Hebrews 11:13-16

He IS building our faith, but He also wants to see how serious we are. Are we fairy godmother Christians, in it to get His good graces or do we love Him so much we're willing to do whatever He asks? Are we looking for a heavenly home or earthly comfort? If we're seeking ease in this world, do we honestly worship Him? Are we a true disciple if no sacrifice is involved? Does the waiting sift out the shallow and reveal the faithful?

I want to be faithful. I work to be faithful. I endure to be faithful, but I admit there are times I get angry with God, thinking I've waited enough, wanting Him to make it easy one time. But God doesn't do easy. God does BEST. So when the growly in me starts rising at His admonishment to "Trust Me," I have to find a way to stay faithful, to wait for His best. I turn to His soothing Word.

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Isaiah 30:18

He LONGS to be gracious. He shows compassion. BLESSED are all who wait for Him. I want His blessing. I want His best. So even when I don't like it or understand it, I choose to wait.

What will you do?

The Secret to Feeling Younger

I never thought at 47 I'd consider myself young. My teenagers remind me on a daily basis how "old school" I am.

"No offense Mom."

Yeah. No offense.

But Monday I had the unique opportunity to lead a short Bible study at an assisted living facility. Those people can make you feel like a million bucks!

"My, but you're a pretty young thing!" said one of the first to arrive. (I confess if the wall wasn't behind me I would've turned around to see who she was referring to!) When they asked if I had children, I passed around pictures and got, "What? You don't look near old enough to have kids in college."

They were so sweet and so attentive and yet my stomach was all gurgly. It's an intimidating venture, I tell you, to be designated the leader of a group who have truly lived, who've experienced decades more pain and sorrow than you. I've done it once before when I was asked to speak to a group of seniors about grieving. Grieving! When I saw the average age was around 85, I nearly turned around. How could I say anything they didn't already know?! That feeling came flooding back as women entered the chapel Monday.

"You just be yourself, honey," one kept saying.

I chose to look at verses on anxiety and worry (hmmm, any clue where my head's been lately?) and when I asked them what they worried about, one woman said, "Honey, I had seven kids. I don't worry anymore. I just call one of them and let them take care of it." Don't you love it?

Though she made me laugh, I also thought, "Uh oh, this could be a long lesson if everyone is like her!" But across the table, the lady who said "just be yourself" smiled at me and I went ahead with what I prepared. I figured I didn't wander into the room by accident. God brought me there so I trusted Him to make something of it.

We flipped pages in Bibles (and flipped and flipped and flipped), joked, talked, laughed and prayed together. I'm not sure if any great truths were learned, but that's not my job. I was to show up with a lesson. God is the one who gives it light.

My delightful time with them taught me an important lesson. I'm no theologian or amazing orator. I'm old school to teenagers and a whippersnapper to seniors. In any group of people, the only unique quality I have is myself and my relationship with God. If I don't give that, I'm offering nothing special.

Oh, and have you guessed the secret to feeling younger? Hang out with people older than you!

Simple Reminders

This is my view as I sit at my desk. This is what I look at when I'm struggling to find the right words, the perfect turn of phrase. This is what I see when I look up from my Bible, my prayers, my work.

I love it, my little arrangement of reminders, things that define who I am. The candle tells me I am to be a light. The jacks set reminds me of the day God made himself real. The TRUST plaque is a continual admonition to remember Who's really in control. The picture of my kids that makes me so happy, speaks to the mercy and grace of a God who created some amazing people I've been privileged to grow with. Great reminders of God's goodness.

But today, as I looked up from my desk to the top of my file cabinet, God revealed something new. I worry about, stress and pray over my kids more than anyone else. I feel their burdens, their pain. I want to make everything wonderful for them and yet I can't. I fret over their futures, their choices, the trials they are bound to face. How perfect that the word TRUST sits right before them.

Thank you Lord, for daily proof You are on the job. Thank You for simple reminders.


For more Thankful Thursday posts, visit Lynn and Dineen at Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

The Little Stuff

Life wears on me.

Last week nothing monumental happened, nothing tragic or earth shattering, yet I deemed it a rotten week. Trouble in a relationship, unexpected major expenses, growing pains in our family, raging hormones and inconveniences which felt like they might send me over the edge, sapped my strength.

I asked God more than once, "Why does life have to be so hard?"

Can you guess the answer? I know I've talked about it before.

It doesn't have to be. TRUST ME!

If we can trust God for our eternal salvation, how can we not trust Him to provide for the “little” things of life?”

M.E. Howard

It's not that I don't trust Him, but Satan masterfully uses the "little stuff" to distract me from what I know to be true. He's the one who suggests I may lose it. He gets my mental calculator humming. He brings the worries to mind and throws in annoyances to keep me off kilter. He knows all he has to do is adjust my eyesight slightly and I'm a goner.

And I let him do it!

It's time to start fighting back and remembering what is true instead of falling for what isn't. Will you join me? When the "little stuff" wears on you, will you gain peace of mind and freedom from anxiety by focusing on God's promises instead of the problem? I gotta admit I really stink at this. I'm a dweller. I'll need your help. Remind me to rest in words like this, okay?

. . . those who hope in me will not be disappointed.

Isaiah 49:23

Amen Lord. Renew our hope. Keep us focused on Your Truth.

Join our host, Urailak, at Living for God for more takes on this quote.

You Only Have To Do Today

I'm a wimp.

So many things wear me down and deflate my spirit--a mountain of laundry, a problem with a kid, unresolved feelings, responsibilities, too many activities, a dirty house, hormones, money worries.

When I start feeling overwhelmed I remind myself of one truth.

You only have to do today.

When I wonder how we'll ever pay for five cars and five drivers on our car insurance.

You only have to do today.

When I'm sure I'll never get it all done.

You only have to do today.

When the future is uncertain.

You only have to do today.

When I worry about how my right-brained, artsy, gifted sons will carve out a niche to make a living for a family.

You only have to do today.

When I agonize over whether my efforts are worth it.

You only have to do today.

As I anticipate changes in our family, children growing up and moving out.

You only have to do today.

When repairs are needed on the van and in the house, when the garage is ready to fall over, when the numbers in the checkbook don't jive with the upcoming expenses.

You only have to do today.

When I think about growing older.

You only have to do today.

As I dread days of mourning, of burying loved ones, of losing those dear to me.

You only have to do today.

When I struggle over the best way to handle an issue.

You only have to do today.

When my body is weary and worn, my emotions spent.

You only have to do today.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

You only have to do today, my friend. Don't invent trouble with what ifs or how will we evers. Focus on now.

You only have to do today.

When Answers Aren't Coming

I have a confession to make.

I've been disappointed in God lately.

I've prayed over a certain situation the last few years, something I think I've been patient about, trusting in His timing, something that is not for selfish gain or recognition for myself, but the answer to my prayers is slow in coming, or rather, maybe not coming at all. I don't understand. It feels like all the trust I've put in Him means nothing.

I plead with Him, "God, this is such a small thing for You. Why don't You intervene? What are You doing? How bad does it have to get before You'll step in?"

And all I get back is, "Trust Me."

I fall into the trap of comparing and wonder why He answers others but not me. Why can't He give me a tangible reason to hope? My situation is not dire. It is not life and death, yet His lack of relief shakes my faith and I need to hear a word like this:

“To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights-—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.”

David Wilkerson
When All Means Fail (from his blog post on the day of his sudden death)

In the middle of the night, when anxiety keeps me awake and tears drip into my pillow, I pray and every once in a while, He meets me. I don't feel actual arms or hear an audible voice, yet I sense His embrace as an unexplained peace comes over me, like an enormous exhale releasing the tension from my body. I sense Him telling me, "I've got it. I hear you. Trust Me." I think of the song by Laura Story which says, "What if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know You're near?" And I'm thankful, truly thankful, to experience a supernatural moment. I'm thankful for the unanswered prayer which keeps me coming to Him. I try to be thankful for the trial itself, but I admit it's a little harder to do. I remember He is a faithful God and determine to keep trusting Him, even when answers are not coming.

I hold on for that elusive "one day" when everything will make sense, because I know life WITH Him is far better than life without Him.

What weighs on your heart and mind, friend? What makes you doubt God's love for you? Can you hold fast? Can you believe He has your best interests at heart? Can you keep trusting even when it doesn't make sense?

When answers aren't coming, He tests our faith, to see if it is genuine, based on an understanding of who God is rather than our need for a Fairy Godmother.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:6-9

Praise God He loves us enough to make us authentic followers. Will you dare to trust Him?

Join our host Debbie of Heart Choices to see what this quote inspired in others.

What If There is No Big Thing?

I've spent a lot of time asking God to show me what my purpose in life is. What is the big thing I'm supposed to accomplish on earth? What did He create me for? What can I do that no one else can?

I suspect you've asked the same questions. We all yearn for significance, for the reason God put us here. We want to know our lives matter. We've all heard stories of people experiencing close calls and we remark, "God must not be done with them yet. He must have a bigger plan."

But what if there's no big thing? What if His only call for you is, "Follow Me?" What if our daily actions, over the course of our lifetimes, produce a beautiful work which may only be significant to God?

What if comforting a hurting child is big in His eyes? Or giving a stranger a ride home? What if He deems feeding your family or listening to a friend as noteworthy? What if consistently producing blog posts without knowing how they're taken, means something to Him? None would qualify any of these activities as a "big thing," yet I wonder how God sees them. Do ordinary works, compiled day after day throughout our years, earn us the coveted "Well done, good and faithful servant" when we get to heaven? Isn't that the biggest thing we could strive toward?

Trusting God means trusting Him to take every single day and make it count in His economy. I don't have to be a best-selling author or award-winning playwright or sought after counselor for my work to be valuable. I only have to be faithful to do what is before me TODAY. He will shape all my todays into something significant.

There is no big thing for each of us, my friends. All He asks is to persist in doing what's before us each day. While this may never seem important to our fellow man (and some days not even to us!), we can be confident God sees. He knows. He makes it matter.

When God Seems Unfair

I knew why boys overlooked me. I saw it in the mirror every day of my life. I was nice enough, but not attractive enough. I understood their apathy toward me, but it didn't take away my desire for a relationship. It didn't make me stop wishing for one guy to see past my outer flaws. Knowing why boys didn't look my way didn't take away my yearning for a husband.


I spent many hours alone in my bedroom asking God why. Why did He let me be overweight? Why did I have to be so uncomfortable around boys? Why did I have to feel so unattractive? Why couldn't any guys see the real me? Why did I have to be limited by my appearance? Why did I have to live with a sister everyone wanted to date? Why couldn't I feel normal for one day?

“In the darkest of our times, God is plotting for our glory. If we would believe this and remember it, we would not be blind when God reveals His grace.”

~ by John Piper ~
A Sweet and Bitter Providence: Sex, Race, and the Sovereignty of God

I scoured my Bible for answers. It said, "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" and "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" and "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."*

Concluding it would take a miracle for any man to look beyond my shell to find the good qualities within, I started praying, believing God could do the impossible, knowing if it was going to happen, only He could do it. I trusted God to be who He said He was. I chose to believe.

And God, in His gracious, abundant, miraculous way, answered my prayer over and above what I asked. He provided a man who appreciates ALL of me. Those lonely days in my bedroom seem MORE than worth it for the lifetime of joy I know now with my wonderful husband.


Would I have appreciated my husband as much without the darkness of longing? Would I work as hard at my marriage without recognizing it as a miracle? Would I understand the glorious Truth of His Word without being tested to believe it? Would I have experienced His lavish grace without having felt deprived of it?

Truly He knows what brings about our best and His glory. When God seems unfair, we have a choice to make. We can fight our dark days, thinking Him an unfeeling dictator. Or we can move on in hope, believing Him, expecting His deliverance. We can trust our imperfect eyesight or His all-knowing, perfect path.

What will you choose?

For more thoughts on this quote, visit Loni at Writing Canvas.



*Romans 8:28, Psalm 37:4, Matthew 21:22

Learning to Trust My Husband

My husband blames it on the fact that I'm slightly older than he is. For the first year of our marriage I thought myself more sensible and mature than him. To be honest, I probably struggled with it the first TEN years of our marriage. I knew his easy-going, trusting, everything's-going-to-be-okay personality. He's the idealist. I'm the realist. He's the music major. I'm the math major. He's creative, right-brained. I'm a left-brained planner. He says, "Imagine this" to which I reply, "But how are you going to do that?" I figured I thought things through more, paid closer attention, possessed greater street smarts (talk about laughable!). He was young and naive. I learned the "proper" way to do everything.

But my artsy, dreaming husband is also very smart. He called me on my attitude. "You think you know better than me," he said repeatedly. And I couldn't disagree! I questioned his ideas and second-guessed his job decisions. I even suggested which route we took while he was driving. I found myself becoming a nag and didn't like it. I prayed God would make him more of a take charge kind of husband so I wouldn't have to worry about making sure he did things right.

But in His good form, God turned the tables on me. He told me it was MY problem. I didn't trust my husband.

My Kevin was trying to be responsible, but I hampered him by doubting his every move. My questions translated into mistrust which suggested disrespect. I had to learn maybe he DID know something and let him run with it. I had to let go of control and LET him be the man he wanted to be.

"You think you know better than me."

It sounded like something one would say to their little sister. I didn't want to be an annoying little sister. I wanted to be the treasured, cherished wife. Something needed to change. And it was me.

I won't say it's been quick or easy, but it's happening. I'm learning to let go. I'm finding he is quite capable of handling a lot of things. I'm learning there's freedom in letting him take care of stuff without being involved.

I'm learning to trust my husband.

And now I'm a woman who feels taken care of, who's husband's got a track record of good decisions. I am the one who breathes a sigh of relief when he says he'll handle it. He's proven he is trustworthy. Relinquishing my control was totally worth the security I've gained in my marriage.

Do you think you know better than your husband? Is your distrust hindering his ability to take care of you? What might you gain by giving up control?

Give it shot. Trust your husband.

For more stories of trust in marriage, visit our host e-Mom at Chrysalis.

Where Are You Headed?

“If you don’t change the direction you are going, then you are likely to end up where you are headed.”

~John Maxwell ~

I ask God all the time, "What are we doing? Where are we going?"

So far He hasn't answered me, except to say, "Just keep doing what you're doing." I can accept that, and I do, but what direction am I going then? Am I living haphazardly without a plan? Am I squandering away valuable time? Am I headed the wrong way?

Do you know where you're going? Do you have a clear cut end result you're shooting for? Am I the only one who feels like they're "playing it by ear?"

What in the world is this quote talking about?!

I can't know for sure, because I don't have a context for it, but I'm guessing we're being encouraged to look at the direction our daily choices are taking us. Do they bring us closer to Christ or further away? I wish I could say that cleared the matter for me considerably, but I have a hard time deciding where some choices lead. For instance, if I choose to buy a caramel latte, does that take me closer to God or further away? What if I buy a new dress? Or decide I need a nap? Am I moving towards Him when I proofread another scholarship essay for my daughter when all I really want to do is go to bed?

How do you know what direction your daily choices are taking you? Am I destined to be in a tug of war between good and bad choices? How can I be sure every decision I make will take me toward the Light and not away? How can I know where I am headed?

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

FIRST I choose to follow and actively seek Him. THEN, I let Him direct the path.

Seek and trust.

Whew. Takes the pressure off a bit, doesn't it? It's not to say we won't mess up, but seeking and trusting will keep us going in the right direction.

Where are you headed? Where will you end up? Want assurance you'll get where you want to go?

Seek and trust.


Join Nina at Mama's Little Treasures for more thoughts inspired by this quote.

Not Letting Worry Get the Best of Me

My mind is swirling lately. So much to worry about!

Taxes (bleh!).

With kids in college, there's the dreaded FAFSA.

Traveling to show choir and drum line competitions every weekend takes a serious bite out of our bank account.

This Spring we've got a kid graduating from high school (Woe is me!).

Another is just starting to drive. Yikes.

Our youngest is needing braces.

Before the end of the year we'll add another car and another driver to our insurance policy.

There's plenty to keep this worry wart awake at night.

I take it to God like I'm supposed to. I say, "God, why do I always have to worry about something?"

He says, "You don't. Trust Me to handle it."

“When I get anxious I know I have gone from God’s time to my time and it’s a waste of time.”

~ Charles Stanley ~

I waste A LOT of time worrying. Instead of filling my head with mental calculations and trying to figure it all out, I know what I need to do.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Proverbs 3:5

It sounds so simple in theory. I guess I'm a slow learner. It takes practice to say, "Okay, God, here's my problem. I trust you to handle it." But I'm working on it. I hope you are too. The payoff is stellar.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3

I'm all for perfect peace. How about you? For me keeping a steadfast mind means working hard to fill it with the Truth about God.

Are you not much more valuable than they (the birds)? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you.

I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful.

As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."

So do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

We can do this. We can eliminate worry from our lives, but it takes practice. Will you join me? Will you replace worry with Truth?

Join our host, Karen, at In Love W.I.T.H. Jesus for more posts on this quote.

Building Faith Muscles

Three years ago, when Drummer Boy was a senior in high school, I realized all of my children would be out of our home in ten years. I immediately asked God to tell me what I needed to do in that ten years to be prepared for the next chapter of my life.

In true God form, He gave me three specific BIG things to work on--get an advanced degree, write the novel on my heart and build a writing platform. Pretty intimidating things, but given a ten year window, I thought they were doable. At first I tried doing all three at once and not only wore myself out, but ended up feeling defeated, like I was getting no where, only spinning my wheels. God gently told me to take one thing at a time. Building a writing platform is a long-term, gradual thing, so I'll always be working on it, but the other two are possible to knock off in a couple of years each. So I concentrated on the novel for a full year. It's pretty tough to make it a priority when I have no idea what will become of it, plus life crowds in, stealing my time away. Some things are more urgent than writing thousands of words no one reads.

Now our next child is a senior in high school and I'm evaluating my progress. And feeling frustrated. The writing platform is coming along. Slowly. The first draft of the novel is only halfway done and because of circumstances in my life, I'm wondering if I should switch gears to the advanced degree. I know what I need to do in the next seven years, but don't know how or in what order. These three goals are in addition to my normal activities. How can I fit it all in? Do I need to give up something to accomplish this? I want God to be very clear (and told Him so), yet the answer He gives me over and over is, "Keep doing what you're doing." Sigh.

“Learning to wait on God’s timing and having the patience to follow his lead rather than running ahead of him is essential to those who are committed to seeing their faith journey through to the end. God seldom rushes things along. Getting used to his pace will help you in the long run.”

~ Essentials for Life For Women by Marcia Ford ~

I totally understand that God's timing is not mine. Totally. And I'm okay with that most days, but when I look back on my life, I wonder what I've accomplished. But there's the problem. I'm looking to see what I've done, not waiting to see what He'll do.

He's asking me to build faith muscles, not sprint to the finish line.

God says, "Trust Me," with my material needs, my loved ones, the future, and WITH MY TIME. I do today what He places on my heart to do and then do it again tomorrow, trusting He will accomplish what concerns me today.

Can I get an advanced degree, write a novel and build a writing platform in the next seven years? Not on my own power. The last three years have proven that. If I want to reach the goal, I've got to do it His way, in His timing, trusting Him for each day's activities. I won't quit asking God for specifics on how to do this, because aren't we supposed to bring everything to Him? One day He'll show me the path. Until then I'll learn to rest in His timing and follow His clear words, "Keep doing what you're doing." The waiting will strengthen my faith.

What are you having a hard time waiting for? Can you use it to build your faith?

To read what this quote inspired in other people, visit Deborah at Coffee and Chocolate.

Another Reason to Trust

Night falls.
As my weary body and brain fall into bed, they lose their tenacity to fight
and the old anxieties creep in.
How will you pay for that?
Can it possibly work out?
What if . . . ?

I ward it off with as much as energy as I have,
calling on the name of Jesus,
bringing to mind His gentle words.
Trust Me.

The wonderful man sleeping next to me starts to snore
and suddenly I'm aware of God's past provision,
His answer to my prayer thirty years ago
which surpassed my every expectation.

I settle into the warmth of my husband's body,
inhaling his familiar aroma with every breath
and I thank God.

How can I question His love for me,
why do I doubt He will handle my problems
when this is my life every night?

Truly God is good.
He knows exactly what I need.
There is nothing to fear.



Photo Credit: kasperbaago