7 Quick Takes (Volume 167)

1) Ladies Man: I was offended by this tv show I watched today. These guys were saying that men are turning into girls and they showed a picture of a guy in a flannel shirt, with a hair cut like mine, wearing a man purse as an example.

Ladies Man has become a fan of flannel shirts this winter, thus the rub.

Kevin: I heard testosterone levels are falling in men.

Me: Well, what do you do about that? Can you take a vitamin or something?

Ladies Man: Mom! Do you think I'm turning into a girl?!

Rest assured, my dear son, I do NOT think you are turning into a girl. Just curious.

2) Miss Innocent One needed some new sheets for her bigger bed. I saw a set on clearance because it had been repackaged and I pounced.

Me: Look at these cute sheets. Hot pink zebra print. Very cool. Wouldn't you like these?

Miss Innocent One: They're cute, but what else is there?

Wandering eyes found some polka-dots at regular price.

Miss Innocent One: I kind of like these.

Me: Yeah, but these are cheaper.

Miss Innocent One: Yeah . . .

She fingered the polka dots and I knew drastic measures were needed.

Me: Now think about this. The polka dots are fine, but the zebra screams, "Get up and face the day!" The polka dots will just encourage you stay in bed, but waking up to hot pink zebra print will make you go, "Rawr! Bring it on!"

She laughed at me, but stayed planted in front of the beloved polka dots. You cheap mothers of the world would be proud of me. I was relentless.

Me: And really, those dots don't even match your comforter. The zebra would be perfect.

Call me a monster mom if you want, but it worked and finally she gave in. I can do what it takes to save $8, I tell you. And honestly, wouldn't this make you want to tackle anything when you woke up?


3) Kevin and Ladies Man have been hitting it hard with P90X. Since I've been suggesting they may not complete it, they are more determined than ever. I figure losing this battle is really a win for me. I can deal with bulging pecs and washboard abs. Only 85 days to go!

4) I had a birthday this week and my kids used the opportunity to try to one up each other. Drummer Boy made it pretty tough with this status on Facebook:

"It's my mom's (Tami Boesiger) birthday today. If you don't know her than you haven't met one of the prettiest, patient, passionate, and preeminent women that God has put on this planet. Love you, Mom."

Of course Drama Queen voiced her frustration:

"Ok, Drummer Boy! Make it so that the rest of the children can't top you. Ya friggin' jerk."

But she melted my heart too with her own wish:

"Ok, so now that your stupid firstborn child ruined all hope of any of the rest of your children giving you a better birthday wish than him......Happy birthday, Mom!! Love you so much! Hope you get a chance to relax today :) See you Saturday!! :D"

Even Miss Innocent One got in on it with this:

"Hey, I cleaned the kitchen...but yes, you made that very hard to top."

5) Joy of all joys we did something this week we've never done before. Hit a deer. Isn't this pretty?


Thankfully no one was hurt, apparently not even the deer. We couldn't locate it afterwards, but left remnants of our van in the ditch to inflict guilt on the stupid thing if he decides to wander back to the scene of the crime.

6) Drama Queen was sick away from home for the first time this week. I discovered advantages and disadvantages to this situation. On the minus side, I wasn't there to make sure she did the right things to get better, but on the plus side I didn't have to hear the coughing and sneezing or get up in the middle of the night to find the kleenexes or throat lozenges. I felt bad for her, but there was freedom in not having to deal with it.

Maybe I am monster mom.

7) As a special treat for my birthday, my husband is taking me to our favorite local getaway this weekend. Yesterday as he sidled up to me, slipping an arm around my waist and purring, "I can't wait for tomorrow," Miss Innocent One sat on the kitchen counter observing the whole scene. As Kevin and I parted, she gave me a knowing smile.

Me: What's that about? Why are you smiling?

Miss Innocent One: You guys are just cute together.

So now I'm off to be cute with my husband all by ourselves. I hope you all enjoy your weekend as much as I plan on enjoying mine. If you're looking for some laughs, check out more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.