June 1, 2006
The day became a whirlwind, one of those days I was constantly busy, but in the end had nothing to show for it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn'’t do it all and left someone disappointed. I needed something from my husband I didn't get and then felt guilty for expecting it because he is so good to me. Thinking I must be selfish and wrong made me resentful. Why is it always my fault? You'’d think I'd be ready for the day to be over and forget about it while I slept, but as soon as I laid down, the thoughts swirled around in my head.
I couldn't sleep. I was angry. I was frustrated. I didn't feel like doing anything except wallowing. I wondered what God expected me to do with these feelings. How was I supposed to rise above them?
What good is that when I am overwhelmed with life?
But I'm tired of trying so hard.
How does that help?
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess."(Hebrews 4:14)
I'm trying to hold firmly, Lord, but is there ever any down time?
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin." (Hebrews 4:15)
You sympathize with me? Really? You aren't shaking your head and rolling your eyes over my weakness, over my stupid whining? You truly get me? If that's true, I desperately need You, Jesus.
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)
BINGO--the way out of the foul mood. I needed to approach the throne. I needed to remember Jesus, call out to Him and find mercy. I needed His grace and help in my time of need. Only He could understand my feelings, no matter how irrational they may be. Only He could bring me the right perspective. Only He could bring me rest.
Sound a little simplistic? Yeah, it did to me too.
But it worked.
Remember Jesus. What will He do for YOU today?