There's always so much to think about and I can drive myself crazy doing so. Yesterday I decided I needed a break from it all. "Just stop thinking, Tami," I kept telling myself, "let your mind go blank." Apparently I need a little practice because it was no easy task. Then I remembered good ole Brother Lawrence and decided the best way to clear my mind was to focus only on God. I needed to rest in Him. I had the house all to myself so I thought it may actually be doable. I sat very still, closed my eyes and worked REALLY hard to think only of God. And failed miserably. I'm not sure I even made it a minute! The trouble is I would think of God and then start praying for someone which isn't focusing only on Him. My mind would wander and I'd bring it back.
Deep breath. Start again.
"Oh, God, thank You so much for all you have done for me."
Whoops! There I was again. Start over.
"Okay. Lord, You are all-knowing, in control, handling every detail of my life.
GRRR. I did it again. Maybe if I didn't think of His attributes, but Him and Him alone, I would do better.
Whew! I repeated this process over and over and over for at least thirty minutes. I have a whole new respect for the precious monk. If you haven't read his classic The Practice of the Presence of God, I highly recommend it. As for me, I'm going to keep working at it. I think if I ever get better focus, my perspective on life will improve. You think I'd walk around with a strange look of serenity on my face? I'm going for peaceful, not creepy.