(In response to my husband saying, "I guess I'll have to do all the talking tonight.") "That won't be too hard."
"Don't make me feel stupid for the decisions I make. You've never been a mom. What do you know about it?"
"I really wish I had cleavage."
"You can't be tough if you love purple, can you?"
"Sounds like something a man would say."
"I guess it's okay if you spend the night. You will sleep, right?" (WRONG!)
Nearly everything I said to my mother-in-law on Sunday.
"My neck is too long."
(To my husband after he shaved off his moustache of twenty years) "I'm not sure I should kiss you. It feels like I'm cheating."