Friday, June 08, 2007

Mismatch


You know how the way you think about yourself doesn't always coincide with the view others have of you? Whose impression is more accurate? I mean, we LIVE with ourselves, so we should know ourselves best, yet I know I tend to notice my negatives more than my positives. Are we too close to get a good perspective? Other people, for the most part, probably get our best effort. They see the good we are capable of, the correct choices, without the snarky attitude that may dwell inside. So which one is the correct picture?

Perhaps the people we live with would know best? Yet even they don't know what's going on in our heads.

Or maybe too much attention to this subject is pointless.

What do you think?



Photo Credit: becstarr

8 comments:

Rachelle said...

Like they say in screenwriting circles, action IS character. In other words, our thoughts and feelings don't really amount to a hill of beans... it's what we DO that matters. How we behave. How we treat others. (etc.)

We might think we know who we are because we know our thoughts. But other people may have a better view of who we are because they see what we do.

Not that our hearts aren't important. The Lord knows our hearts, and he can see our intent even when others can't. That's significant for the times when our actions don't accurately portray the intent of our hearts.

But I think, more often than not, others can assess us pretty accurately based on our actions. They may be more "right" about us than we ourselves are. Of course, others can be as wrong about us as we are; it's not a perfect science!

To your question, "whose impression is more accurate?" I'd have to say that others' impressions are probably accurate more often than ours are.

Dianne said...

This is something I've been thinking about also. I guess my thought is: isn't God's perspective the most balanced? He sees the potential for good with which he created us, but he also sees our very human sinfulness. And yet he loves all of us. I don't know, just thinking out loud here.

Anonymous said...

How others see us can never be how we really are? Only God knows what lies in our heart. Even with family,even our husbands never really know what is inside our heart. I struggle with the lie of a life that I lead. Why can I appear to be all together but be falling apart inside? I think we want to hide our really thoughts because we know that no one else will ever care or understand. We all have different versions of ourselves depending on where we are or who we are with. God alone sees all of them how can I put them into what God wants for me for Him.

Tami said...

Thank you to these commenters for some great thoughts. Don't you want to get some coffee and sit down for a good discussion?

Rachelle, you bring up a VERY good point about our actions being more important than our thoughts. Very true.

Dianne, I just knew someone was going to say God had the most accurate impression of us. Thanks for not disappointing me.

Anonymous, you are very right when you say we have different versions of ourselves. I have noticed that in myself and wondered why it happens. I found myself wishing I could reach out and give you a hug. We all feel we don't measure up to the person we think we should be. We all think people wouldn't like us if they knew what goes on inside our hearts and heads sometimes. The lie is not the life we lead, but the load of crap Satan gives us saying no one will care or understand. He has deceived us into thinking we need to hide our real selves thus making us miserable. Don't forget you were created exactly how you are. I encourage you to take a risk and talk to someone about the struggles you are having. You don't have to continue like this. Feel free to e-mail me. You can find my address on my profile page.

Susannah said...

Really an interesting question, Tami. I spent the weekend with a relative who consistently projected their negative qualities on everyone else. My husband also noticed this person doing this, and we concluded that it was a defense mechanism. She did this as if to say, "See, I'm not so bad?" (Not a believer.)

Unlike the person above, I tend to see everyone through rose-colored glasses... I project positive qualities on people when perhaps, I shouldn't. So I guess it works both ways.

Scripture is clear that "Man looks at the outward appearance, while God looks at the heart." I don't think we always accurately perceive what's in a person's heart from their outward behavior, because we are tainted with our own faulty lenses of perception.

All that just to say, we are probably wise not to judge any other person's heart or behavior except our own--and to judge our own hearts against the standard of Love as outlined in Scripture.

Christine said...

Great question and responses. I'm holding a baby now so can't ttype much more than that!

Anonymous said...

My question: How much can our actions influence our inward thoughts? It seems to me that we all are more than aware of our sinfulness. But by choosing to act in a Godly way in spite of our feelings, will God use that to renew and transform our hearts?

John 14:23
Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.

Our actions in obedience to Him will invite both God and Jesus to fellowship. How much can they renew our thoughts?

Tami said...

Wow, GREAT question, Anonymous!!!

You bring an important principle to this discussion--our obedience. Consisent obedience to Him DOES change us. As we do what is right, rather than what we want to do, does God change our thinking too? Makes sense, doesn't it?

Thanks for this important input!