Expecting or Accepting?

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We have lived under the same roof for twenty-one years. We have feared together and cheered together. We have shared heartbreak and sorrow, joy and exhilaration. We have laughed and cried and talked and dreamed and opened ourselves wide to one another. We've even survived parenting four children (at least so far), yet there are times I look across the room at my husband and wonder who he is. Oh, don't get me wrong, I love him, very much. He is God's greatest miracle and richest blessing to me. He is a good guy, smart and funny, loving and thoughtful, amazingly talented and devoted to God, but. . .well. . .

. . .sometimes I just don't get him.

Does he really not think about things I think about? Is it possible he honestly doesn't notice stuff? He can really tune things completely out like that? Really?! How can that be? How can we be so compatible, yet so different? Shouldn't I be getting this marriage thing down by now?

I think the problem is that I EXPECT instead of ACCEPT. I expect him to notice things instead of accepting he may not. I expect to be the object of his complete adoration (I'm supposed to be his queen, right?), instead of accepting I can't be, only God should be. When I am bothered by some issue in our marriage, I expect him to change instead of accepting who he is. I cannot expect and accept at the same time, can I? I have to ask myself, which is more loving?

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Romans 15:5-7

If I want a strong union, I've got to follow God's principles. I've got to quit expecting and start accepting. It's the only way for our marriage to bring glory to God. Now I get that in my head, but practically. . .well, that's going to take a little practice. I can take heart, though, that if God ordains it, He will provide the training. Hmmm. . .doesn't sound so fun, huh?

So how will accepting change my day to day actions? Instead of wondering why he didn't notice, I'll accept he didn't and communicate better. Instead of expecting him to sense my mood, I'll accept he may not and move on, focusing on the truth that it was nothing personal. Instead of expecting his assistance, I'll accept he's had a long day too and humbly ask for help. Before I give too much more of myself away, I'll quit here. You get the picture.

Will you join me? Will you accept instead of expect?


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