Friday, April 10, 2009

Wanting More for my Brother

It won't go away.

The heaviness I feel for my brother.

He's a good guy who makes choices I don't understand. He muddles along in life, waiting for nice things to come his way that never seem to arrive. He and I have a hard time communicating, yet underlying the awkward silences and surface level chit-chat is a desire on both sides to be connected. Why can't we get there?

Every time I talk with him, I'm aware of his hopelessness. My heart hurts for him and I don't know what to say or how to help.

He needs grace.

We are very much alike, he and I, in temperament, in sensitivity, in how we view our place in life. I have hope and direction, peace and confidence, only because of one thing.

Were it not for grace,
I can tell you where I'd be
wand'ring down some pointless road to nowhere
with my salvation up to me.
I know how that would go,
the battles I would face;
forever running, but losing the race,
were it not for grace.

"Were It Not for Grace"
Words by Phill McHugh

Because of His grace, because my Jesus looked down and said, "You're worth it. I will suffer on that cross to spare you," I know there is so much more.

I love my brother.

More than he knows.

I want him to be rescued as I was, to know the reality he wakes up to is not all there is, to find meaning and purpose in life. I want him to understand a life of following God is not about giving up everything, but about gaining so much more. I want him to know there is a way to sleep peacefully at night and wake up excited at the possibility in a new day. But I can't explain it. I can't make him understand. I can only say one thing.

There is more.

On this Good Friday I think of Jesus hanging on that cross, displaying His love to people who do not understand. And I pray He opens my brother's eyes. For isn't that the message of Easter? Isn't that the good news?

"I have come that they may have life," Jesus said, "and have it to the full." He lives so we can really live too.

I want my brother to really live, to believe there is more, to hope for big dreams, to experience all God has for him, not only in eternity, but also on this earth.

There is so much more.

He weighs heavy on my heart.

Lord, reach for him. Show him Your grace. Give him more.


Betsy Markman said...

Bless you, Tami. I too have unsaved loved ones, and I feel the burden, and also the certainty that there's nothing I can say that will magically make them see. It takes a touch of the Spirit, and that only happens in His timing. It is for us to pray and love and share with them whenever we can, as you are doing.

Lord, please open our loved ones' eyes and bring them to Yourself!

Mary Moss said...

Tami, I will add my prayer for your brother and for all those who do not know what we are blessed to know about our Savior.

Emiley said...

Tami - I could have written this EXACT thing about my brother. He is simply not interested in hearing anything so I just pray that his eyes will be opened and his heart softened....somehow. Being someone who was saved "later" in life, I know that it is possible and I try to trust God's timing....but it's hard, huh?