Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Finding a Better Way

When a compliment comes, she has a hard time believing it, often dismissing it as someone just trying to be nice. She's seen her reflection. She is fully aware of her weaknesses. She knows the truth.

But what makes her view of herself more accurate than that of another? Does her dismissal hurt the person giving the compliment? Does it make them feel stupid? Though she thinks of it as being humble, doesn't it require some selfishness to hang on to these impressions of herself? Does her warped thinking only keep her focused on herself?

Worst of all, it affects her marriage. She dismisses her husband just like the others and without realizing it, she puts him down. If she can't accept his view of her, can't believe he really means it, why should he keep trying? Will her continual inability to see what he does, tear him down? Does she make him feel like a failure when he can't make her feel beautiful? Will her twisted thinking drive a wedge between them?

But what if, what if she believed the nice things people said?

What would happen if she actually accepted it? Would she be more attractive because she was more at ease with herself and less needy? Would people be drawn to her because of her confidence? Would she be free to meet the needs of others better? Would life be more enjoyable? Would she stand taller, smile more, shine as God intended?

Pining away for what she wishes she could be prevents her from being who she is: a distinct, unique creation of an Almighty God. Does God really want His creations finding fault in themselves? What does it say to Him? Are we trying to tell Him He didn't do a good job?

It's not right. We must find a better way to live, fighting the temptation to put ourselves down. Will we bloom into our real selves if we CHOOSE to believe what others see? Are we depriving the world of God's specific design of us until we do?


Brenda said...

Have you ever done a blog on how we look to God? I'm trying to remember. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Look at His creation around us. All He has created is beautiful.

Mary Moss said...

Wow! You are right on the money, here! If only we could see ourselves through the loving eyes of God, we would value ourselves more. We would also honor others when they compliment us:-)

Great post, Tami!

Linda said...

We must find a better way. We all struggle with this issue of buying into the lies. Well, some of them have a bit of truth. (Ok, slap me) But what is the better way?
How do we practically find the better way when we keep stumbling into the same pothole of lies? How do we stay more consistently on the right road?

Tami Boesiger said...

We choose to believe the good about ourselves. We practice accepting the compliments as truth. We ingrain ourselves with God's word that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, wholly and dearly loved.

And we trust our friends to slap us when we forget to do all of this!

norma mercer said...

OK---so slap me too! I always crave the recognition, but when it comes I don't believe it or accept it. I want to know that I do a good job, that my new top looks good on me. I want to appear humble, but on the other hand I want people to SEE me, to know that I have accomplished a task that God has given me. But when someone says something nice-----well----it's hard for me to see myself the way others do sometimes.