Friday, January 15, 2010
7 Quick Takes (Volume 65)
1) There's nothing like a few snow days to get kids out of their regular routine. When Ladies Man knew school was cancelled, his personal hygiene lost its importance. The whole family. . .shall we say, sniffed his negligence and highly encouraged him to take a shower.
Miss Innocent One to Ladies Man: You really do stink.
Ladies Man: Thanks a lot. Now I feel like crap.
Dad: You smell like it too.
2) The adventures never rest at our house. One night this week, Drama Queen and Ladies Man entered our dark bedroom.
Ladies Man: Did you hear the back door open?
My heart beats a little harder.
Drama Queen: There was this weird noise outside.
Me (feeling slightly panicked, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and glancing at the clock which reads 12:13): Now. . .what?
Ladies Man: We looked out the door and two cats were on the back porch.
Whew. Just cats.
Drama Queen: One made this weird howling noise while the other just stared at it.
Ladies Man: We tried to shoo them off, but they wouldn't move.
Drama Queen: I even hissed at it and it just looked at me.
Ladies Man: So we had to break out the tactical forces.
Meaning, he got out his air soft gun. Let me put this all in perspective for you. My children are shooting at cats through our back door. At midnight. Can you hear "Deliverance" playing in the background?
Drama Queen: He got them off the porch, but the one cat just went behind the house and kept making that weird sound.
Ladies Man: So she got her coat and shoes on and chased it off.
Drama Queen: You didn't hear anything?
Ladies Man: We were in and out of the door about five times. We didn't want you to be worried someone was in the house.
Do they not remember our bedroom is the furthest possible point from the back door?
More giggle, giggle and they go back to bed with a new family story we're sure to hear about for years to come. And I slept right through it.
3) Because Ladies Man is an eighth grade boy, he often has an ache and pain from the manly man games he and his friends play. When he came home with a sore shoulder, he decided it was time to tell his friends to back off.
Me: Just tell them your mom doesn't want anyone touching you.
Ladies Man: No offense, Mom, but I don't want to sound like a Mama's boy. I'll tell them my chiropractor said no one should put their hands on me.
Does anyone understand why that's better?
4) I spent the day shopping with a friend yesterday. Now, if you've read this blog for any length of time you know shopping is not my thing. I've had too many traumatic scenes play out in dressing room mirrors. But yesterday my friend had the perfect mix of "Do you like this?" and "You're trying this on" and "Stop it. I don't know what you're talking about. You need to get this." It was WAY fun and once my bank account recovers from this go around she's talked me into a trip to Victoria's Secret (or wait, is that too much information?). Anyway, thank you precious friend, I had a blast with you.
5) Ladies Man is simply beside himself this week after he purchased an electric guitar. Now he's got all the goods--cute hair, cool skateboard shoes and a sweet guitar.
Life is good in his fourteen-year-old world.
6) Miss Innocent One is developing a fun sense of humor. This week one of her friends thought it would be cute to call himself Juan. She decided to have a little fun with him.
Friend: From now on call me Juan.
Miss Innocent One: What's that you say, John?
Friend: No, Juan.
Miss Innocent One: Why do you want us to call you John?
Friend: No, JUAN!
Miss Innocent One: Okay, whatever you say, John.
Can tell she's had older siblings giving her the business her entire life?
7) Funny things happen when you live in an old house. Last night the phone rings in our bedroom and it's Drama Queen who is just down the hall calling on her cell.
Drama Queen: I'm freaking stuck in the bathroom!
Oops! I didn't see her earlier to tell her the busted doorknob sat in my bedroom. I went to down the hall to find the bathroom door tightly shut with no knob on either side of the door.
Me: I'm not sure how we'll get you out.
Drama Queen: What?! You can't get me out?! I'm stuck in the bathroom?
Dad: We'll get you out.
And of course we did. While Kevin fetched a screwdriver, I jammed a scissor in the opening and got the door open. Drama Queen sat on the bathroom floor playing with the gerbils Miss Innocent One placed in there earlier because they made too much noise in her bedroom. Something about seeing my teenager playing with gerbils on the bathroom floor after I've rescued her from a doorknob-less prison bathroom with a pair of scissors brought that "Deliverance" song right back into my brain.
I feel a "Yee Haw!" comin' on.
That's the goony happenings in the Boesiger house this week, friends. Enjoy your weekend and check out more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.