7 Quick Takes (Volume 66)

1) Because their parents are musicians (their dad one of the rare breed who gets paid for it), our kids find many who expect them to be good at music too (which they are, but of course I'm biased). Ladies Man encountered it this week at school.

Ladies Man: So the teacher asks the class, "Who is the leader in this group?"

We all look around and say, "I don't know. I don't know. Who is the leader?"

"It's Ladies Man," she booms, "He hits all the right notes and is the loudest. Besides, he can't help it. It's in his blood."

I wanted to tell her, "Hey, it's not like music is a superpower."

Kevin, listening intently, hiding a smirk: It kind of is.

2) We sent Drama Queen down to the kitchen to fetch something before we went to bed.

Drama Queen: Can anyone tell me why there are heartburn pills on the counter downstairs?

Me: They're supposed to help with warts.

Drama Queen: What?! What do heartburn pills have to do with warts?

Me: Apparently warts thrive on acid, so if you reduce the amount of acid in your body it can help clear them up.

Drama Queen: But it's heartburn medicine.

Kevin: You do realize heartburn is a stomach acid problem, not a heart problem, right?

Drama Queen: Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?! You're supposed to educate me on this stuff!

Poor girl.

3) We were watching our staple of Judge Judy when a commercial for toilet paper came on. I thought it stupid to start with as they compared regular coffee and espresso with regular toilet paper and the ultra version (something to the effect of "a little does the job as well as a lot"). "You can use seven squares as opposed to 28 squares of bargain tissue." Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm not in the habit of counting my squares. Are you? But the last caption grabbed my attention.

"Enjoy the go."

Enjoy the go?! Do you catch what they're saying here? A toilet paper company saying, "enjoy the go." They may as well say, "Have a good pee."

This is the same company who had a commercial bragging about how their toilet tissue doesn't leave anything behind. Now who wants to think about that? They try to make it all cutesy with their animated bears, but come on, really, EW.

4) I think Ladies Man watched too much t.v. during his snow days.

Ladies Man: Dad, If I was ever in jail, would you come bail me out?

Kevin: I suppose it depends on the situation.

Ladies Man: Well, what if I didn't do it?

Me: Then you wouldn't be in jail.

Ladies Man: What if they thought I murdered someone but I really didn't?

Drama Queen: That would never happen.

Ladies Man: It does all the time on Matlock. Someone walks in on a dead body and everyone assumes they're the killer.

Kevin: You have a greater chance of getting hit by lightening than walking in on a dead body.

Drama Queen: Not me!

I bust a gut. This is totally LOL hysterical if you remember where Drama Queen works.

5) Ladies Man is either on crack cocaine or having some sort of hormonal rush (let's hope for the latter). The boy is hyperactive, I tell you, constantly talking, talking, talking, at a volume not fit for his mother's I-can't-take-all-this-noise ears. Finding everything hysterical and necessary for the rest of us to know, he always has a story to tell. A woman can only take so much and after patiently enduring yet another adolescent tale (I can't really say I was listening), I gave him a half-hearted chuckle.

He looked at me dead serious and said, "Thanks for taking away my shine, Mom."

Oh brother.

6) I wish I could blame the insanity in the house on my kids, but alas, we're all guilty. As my husband came out of the bathroom he announced, "Well, I enjoyed the go, I didn't leave any pieces behind, I didn't use 28 squares and it wasn't even Charmin Ultra. Ha. So there."

7) So, I'm sitting here laughing out loud as I read over the last quick take and my husband wonders why.

Me: I don't even know why it's so funny. It just makes me laugh.

Kevin: It's probably just us.

So humor us folks, let us know if we're completely off the deep end or if you share our strange sense of humor. Regardless, I gotta say I love being able to find joy in the little things, even toilet paper.

I hope you all have a terrific weekend. We're looking forward to our nephew's wedding on Saturday. There will be dancing! Woot woot! Check out more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.