7 Quick Takes (Volume 80)

1) Unable to decide which one fit best, I bought a sweater in two sizes hoping my family would help me make a decision. I kept one and was surprised when Drama Queen asked if she could have the other. I wore my sweater on Sunday and on Monday morning Miss Innocent One came downstairs wearing Drama Queen's sweater.

Me: It warms my heart that my girls think I have enough style to wear what I do.

Ladies Man: It probably wouldn't warm your heart if your boys did.

No. It wouldn't.

2)
Miss Innocent One ran and kicked through her last Field Day on Wednesday. She wasn't looking forward to it and basically choked in her soccer kick event, but she ran respectably and enjoyed a day in the sunshine with her friends.

Our poor kids. Their parents did not pass them any athletic genes. I'm reminded of my own lackluster abilities every time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror at my cardio and stability ball class (It's far from pretty, folks. Yesterday I decided it was better to leave my glasses OFF so I wouldn't have to see it!). Our kids never had a chance of being stellar sports competitors. Miss Innocent One expresses the Boesiger athlete angst well.


3) I got an e-mail from Drummer Boy that started out like this:

MOM!

That boy is loud, even in writing.

4) I had a dream the other night where I was getting out of the shower and Miss Innocent One burst into the room saying, "Mom, the limo is here."

Before I could even ask, "What limo?", a teacher from the middle school (who I know pretty well through our kids being friends and family ties) barged right in.

"I'm sorry to do this," she said, seeing me in only a towel feeling very uncomfortable, "but we don't have much time. The limo is downstairs and we've got to go as soon as possible."

"Go where?" I asked.

"I can't tell you, but you need to get ready right away."

She couldn't tell me anything. I had no idea if I should pack for the day or several. I did notice she had three bags, but she couldn't even tell me if she was going with me. Pretty soon Kevin came in on the action, trying to hurry me along too, looking as if he was going to pop from excitement. I peeked out my bedroom window to see hordes of people lined up along my street like they do on Extreme Home Makeover and I flew around in a tizzy wondering what I should or shouldn't take with me.

And then I woke up without ever knowing what the big hairy deal was.

What a rip off.

5) Ladies Man had a stint being Michael Jackson last night at his vocal music concert and was humble enough to take a picture with his mom.


I'm not crazy about this pic so we tried to snap others, but I knew I shouldn't push it during take number three when he said, "You're making me look like a mama's boy."

Apparently that's not cool.

6) Do you ever wonder how telemarketers stay in business in the era of caller id? I rarely pick up the phone if I don't recognize the number. I figure if it's important, they'll leave a message.

Our current policy of not answering, though, is rubbing Drama Queen the wrong way. She takes great delight and pride in stringing the poor unsuspecting callers along with stupid comments. She reasons it makes them think twice about calling again. Maybe, but it just seems mean to me.

7) I'm almost embarrassed to pass along this family dinner conversation. Almost. Every so often parents of adolescents get to return the torment, if you know what I mean, and this one was too easy.

Ladies Man: Dad, Megan Fox's boobs were totally animated in the Transformer movies.

Dad: No they weren't.

Drama Queen: Yes, they were.

Me: Hey, that's what I need--an animator for my boobs. That could really help me out. Well, that or a good bra. This is my best bra. What do you think?

Ladies Man shields his eyes and looks away.

Ladies Man: Are you done yet?

Me: What's the matter? You don't want to think about your mother having boobs?

Ladies Man: No.

Me: But you suckled at my breasts as a baby.

Ladies Man choked. Kevin and I laughed.

Kevin: Which is worse, thinking of you suckling at Mom's breasts, or me suckling at Grandma's breasts?

Ladies Man nearly lost his lunch. Literally.

Drama Queen (in her best sarcastic voice): I think it's a beautiful thing.

She has a quick wit, that girl. Yes, it is a beautiful thing, but it's not an image a fourteen-year-old boy wants to carry with him, I guess. Oh well. It was fun for us to see him squirm!

And so our April concludes (can you believe it?!). If you're looking for some more wholesome Quick Takes, take a peek at Conversion Diary.