7 Quick Takes (Volume 127)

1) Miss Innocent One has had quite the vociferous backside, if you know what I mean. When she let one rip at breakfast the other day, Kevin had some advice.

Kevin: Miss Innocent One!

Drama Queen: She did it in front of Neighbor Boy yesterday!

Me: He almost looked embarrassed FOR her. His face turned beat red.

Miss Innocent One: His face was red because he laughing. He thought it was funny.

Kevin: It's a slippery slope, Miss Innocent One.

The kids burst.

Kevin: What? First in front of Neighbor Boy, then what?

Miss Innocent One: I don't do it in school.

Kevin (in perfect sage form): It's a slippery slope.

So remember, people, whenever you are tempted to release the excess gas you carry, be selective. You don't want to fall victim to the slippery slope of flatulation.

2) So the other night, I'm minding my own business, making dinner when I hear a trickling noise, like water is running somewhere. I check all the faucets in ear shot. Nothing. I open the dishwasher, look under the sink, run into the bathroom. Still nothing. I'm thinking, "What in the world?!" when suddenly it begins raining from my light fixture! Not delicate drips, mind you, but pouring water, all over my kitchen counter and floor!

I ran upstairs to find my washer (that appliance I wax poetic about every week, the piece of junk hardware I wrangle with every day) had overflowed. The tub filled, but never quit when it got to the top. Who knows how long it had run over? There was a puddle an inch deep around the stupid thing.

You think God's saying it's okay to spend the money on a new one now?

3) My quest to never be an episode of Hoarders was waylaid by overflowing washers, dragging laundry to friends' houses and a hunt for a major appliance bargain. I thought about cleaning out my front closet. I even imagined the shoes and coats I'd load into garbage bags and take to Salvation Army. Too bad dreaming doesn't get you squat. I'd be the most productive person on the face of the planet.

4) I told you last Saturday was full for our household. Not only did our kids have the drumline championships, but Kevin hosted the Homestead Choral Festival. When he scheduled the date for the festival a year ago, he scheduled it around the drumline championships which for the six previous years were held the second week in March. In January of this year we found out the championships had been changed and my dear husband was just sick. He HATED missing his daughter's final competition. I can't tell you the number of times he mentioned his disappointment.

So even though he was UBER busy on Saturday, he left the house a little earlier and got Drama Queen some flowers and wrote her a sweet note, leaving them in the van for me to give her before she left for the competition. You should have seen her face when Miss Innocent One handed them over with "Dad really wishes he could be there tonight." Tough, don't-touch-me Drama Queen immediately started crying. She was so moved Miss Innocent One and I got a little teary too! Nice work honey!

I found out later that on her way to school to hop on the bus, Drama Queen stopped at the church, walked right into the middle of rehearsal and gave her dad a hug.

Does God make good out of everything or what?

5) Unfortunately our drumline didn't do so well at championships. They were keyed up, experienced some technical difficulties and had a bad performance, landing them in third place. Drama Queen was VERY upset about it, as was the whole group. Apparently Ladies Man, the drumline student manager, has a soft spot for his sister too. Drama Queen told me after I left and all the kids were huddled up commiserating with each other, he got choked up, pushed everyone aside and grabbed her in a big hug to cry it out with her.

Which is better, winning a championship or knowing how much your brother (and dad) love you? God is good.

6) Much to my own jealousy, Kevin was selected to serve jury duty. While he complained about the inconvenience, I kept wishing it was me. What a wonderful new experience! Turns out he wasn't chosen in the final lot and only spent an hour there, but he did find the process fascinating. Since he wasn't part of the initial twelve, he has to go back in three weeks to do it again. You think I could gain a few inches and pounds, grow a moustache, cut my hair and lower my voice a titch to impersonate him? I'd be doing us both a favor. Nah. It'd never work. He has WAY more gray than me. (I love you babe!)

7) Time is clicking down to graduation and every time I see Drama Queen do anything I want to burst with pride. There is so much wonderful about that girl.

This week she went on a college visit and settled upon a major. She even found a roommate. Things are falling into place and for the first time she seems genuinely excited about college. I'm happy for her and know she will do great, yet that twinge of sadness is there.

Know you can always come home, Drama Queen. Always.

Oh brother. If she were to read that right now she would say, "Hello. I haven't left yet!" Maybe this sentimental mama needs a tranquilizer or a firm slap to her cheek (Snap out of it woman!). Or maybe a just good night's sleep.

Let's hope the weekend brings peaceful slumbering for us all friends. Settle in and relax by reading other Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.