The undermining is subtle.
We miss the implications of small gestures, flippant words. Something as simple as motioning the route I think he should take while driving starts the deflation. Questions assuming he didn't consider all options chip away at his confidence. Looking over his shoulder and having "suggestions" for every duty or decision tell him without words he is not trusted. Not letting him have the final say screams, "I know better." We want our husbands to be leaders, yet we take Satan's bait to second guess their every move.
Is it any wonder so many man cower? Our know-it-all attitudes, masqueraded as "help" speak louder than we know. If we nitpick each choice, don't they get tired of trying? We get fed up waiting for them to do it our way, and take it into our own hands, virtually saying, "Let me handle it, boy."
Boy. Ouch. How would you respond to that?
The biggest hurdle my husband must jump over in his task of leading our home is ME. My attitude. My distrust. It's a continual struggle to keep myself in check and let him do his job. So as I pray for my husband, I pray his wife will have the strength to trust his judgment and build him up by keeping her own mouth shut. It's a process and takes time, but I'm slowly learning. As I watch my husband stand taller and prove his trustworthiness, I'm relaxing and enjoying the fruits of his leadership.
And experiencing that blessed feeling of being taken care of.
Are you hampering your husband's attempts at guiding your family? Are you able to let some things go to make him feel trusted? Let your husbands lead, ladies. We may lose having things done our way, but gain security in exchange.
Go ahead. Give it a shot. Truly give him the reins. You may be surprised at how he'll bite off the task and bring you peace of mind.
Let him lead.
Find more thoughts on leadership in marriage by reading more Marriage Monday posts at Chrysalis.