I worry about the same problem, and berate myself for doing so.
Where is my faith?
I know God has power to do all, but I also know He doesn't always do it how I want Him to. I know His way can be hard and painful and take a very long time. Frankly, I'm not sure I have it in me to wait for His plan to unfold. I mean, I will and I must, but my heart and spirit . . . I'm scared of what it might mean. I know He knows best, but I'm a wimp.
What does that say about my faith?
I beat myself up about it until my friend's words cut to my heart.
Our struggles don't define our faith. You get up every morning and pray and keep putting it in God's hands. THAT is what defines your faith and that is exactly what you are doing. Your fears are not KEEPING you from keeping on.
She's right, of course. Doubts don't define our faith. Our actions do. My faith may feel wobbly to me, but I keep going back to God, keep seeking His face in the matter. Faith is believing, though we don't like what He's doing or how He's doing it, that He is in control. I worry, but as I bring it before Him each day, each moment the anxiety strikes, my faith says, "God, You know best. I don't get it and I'm a bit afraid, but here it is. You are God."
I may not be as serene and confident as Father Abraham, the epitome of faith, but I got me some faith, people. If you keep seeking, keep asking, keep believing He has your best interests at heart, so do you, my friend, whether you feel strong or not. Let's not let Satan convince us otherwise and take away our only hope. My faith may be small, but it only has to be as big as a mustard seed to be powerful. As long as I hang onto it, I have a handle on what I can't see. I have hope.
The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It's our handle on what we can't see.
Hebrews 11:1 (MES)
Will you let your doubts define your faith?
Photo Credit: another.point.in.time