Friday, May 31, 2013

7 Quick Takes (Volume 238)

1) Drama Queen has decided to give us all Indian names.

Drama Queen: Dad, you are Gray Hair.

Kevin: What?

Drama Queen: Princess Dawdle is Long Legs. Ladies Man is Large Head.

Kevin: These seem kind of obvious.

Drama Queen: They're supposed to describe the person. They all do.

Me: What about Drummer Boy?

Drama Queen: He is Sits With Drums.

Me: These are kinda boring.

Drama Queen: You just don't understand.

Me: Ladies Man should be something with moose.

Drama Queen: Yes! Let's see. He can be Strutting Moose.

Me: Now we're talking.

Drama Queen: I just can't figure out Mom.

Kevin: How about Graceful Beauty?

Drama Queen: Dad, Mom is not graceful. Even she knows it.

She looked at me and I couldn't disagree.

Drummer Boy (mocking): How about Black Hair?

Drama Queen: That doesn't really work because she's only like half black hair, half gray.

Me: Hey! That's not true. I'm at least three fourths black.

Kevin: More like seven eighths. How about we call her Beautiful One?

Drama Queen (rolling her eyes in disapproval): Dad, no.

Kevin: Wise, Graceful Spirit?

Drama Queen: Dad. You don't understand this game. C'mon. Somebody help me. What are adjectives that describe Mom?

Me: How about Pleasant One?

Drama Queen: Mom, no.

Me: I'm not pleasant?

Drama Queen: I want to punch people who are pleasant and I don't want to punch you.

Me: We should call you Squawking Chicken.

Everyone laughed and agreed. Drama Queen succumbed.

Drama Queen: Okay. But what about Mom?

Kevin: Purple Beauty?

Drama Queen: Dad! Let's see. What is true about her? She thinks too much. We could call her Thinking Twitcher.

Me: I am NOT twitchy!

Ladies Man: Or Twitchy Black Hair.

Drummer Boy: She does have black blood in her. We could use that.

Drama Queen: No . . .

Princess Dawdle: How about Thinks Too Much?

Drama Queen: That's too long.

Kevin: No longer than Sits With Drums. How about Thinking Wise One?

Drama Queen: Dad!

We are still waiting for my perfect Indian name. It's a problem for her because she knows if it has Twitchy in it, she'll be toast. Any suggestions? Keep in mind she'll dismiss anything sappy.

2) The day after this conversation, Kevin sang a solo in church. As soon as it was over I got this text from Drama Queen:

Maybe we should change Gray Hair's name to Chief Stud Mean Voice.

3) And now for a lesson in teen politics.

I'm walking through Walmart the other day with Princess Dawdle when it happens.

Princess Dawdle: Oh. I just got the duck face up down.

Me: The what?

Princess Dawdle: Those girls we just passed gave me the duck face up down. It's the way the popular kids rate whether you're cool or not.

Me: So did you pass?

Princess Dawdle: No.

Me: How can you tell?

Princess Dawdle: I got this.

4) It's been pretty quiet at our house this week. All the kids are gone except Drummer Boy who is apparently mourning them, sitting in a dark room watching tv by himself. I don't know, I think we're pretty good company, but whatever. I am so surprised at the extra time I have in my days with the kids gone. You wouldn't believe how much I accomplished the first day! There are fewer interruptions, less housework (I have proof now that they indeed make all the messes!), less cooking, fewer issues to solve, less noise.

But also less fun. Boo. Looking forward to your return, my darling children!

5) I heard our neighborhood owls having a hooting fest. It was so loud I started looking out windows to see if I could find them, but I couldn't.

Man . . . Quick Takes are boring when my kids aren't home.

6) Kevin and I made a trek to Lincoln last night and had the best time accumulating all the stuff I'll need for my trip. That guy is a trooper and probably a better shopper than me. We enjoyed a really good dinner at Cheddar's, but were slightly disturbed by our waiter who sported a handlebar mustache. You ever see something weird on someone, but you don't want to stare at it or seem rude, so you purposely try to look away, but it's near impossible, and yet you're completely grossed out at the same time? I shudder thinking about it. That mustache was just ICKY and I'm not easily repulsed. I can take a lot. He was perfectly friendly and efficient, yet that mustache just screamed EW! When he brought our food and asked if there was anything else he could get for us, we politely said, "No. Thank you," but we were both thinking, "Just get that nasty thing away from our food." Blech!

7) I am super excited to hear my husband preach on Sunday. Yes, you read that right. Kevin will be preaching about worship this Sunday. If you live near us, you won't want to miss it. He's run some of his ideas by me and that guy is a smart cookie hiding behind a piano, I tell you.

Come. Hear Gray Hair speak.

I know he will be wonderful.

And that's all I got this Friday, friends. Enjoy your weekend and take in more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.


Deanna said...

#4, you've described the empty nest; even if they come back and live with you after college, it's different but you do have more free time. But that is not fair trade off for missing the good old days!

Anonymous said...

#3 - yeah but the cool girls were at Walmart --- so their ranking system is whack.