My day is coming to a close. The house is finally quiet. Aaaah. It is my favorite time of day. I've always wondered if that is a bad thing. The Bible talks about being children of the light and the day, not children of the darkness. I know these are metaphors for good and evil and evil usually lurks in the darkness, but the darkness is so peaceful to me. At night I can really think. No more running around, no more appointments or phone calls or tasks or decisions. I give myself permission to rest. And I savor the quiet. I fear one day I will be an old grouchy woman who can't stand any amount of noise. (I don't dare say this around my kids--they probably think I'm already there!)
And so in the quiet of this evening I wonder what came of this day? How can I judge it? More importantly, how will God judge it? Did I further His kingdom today? Did I make Him smile or shake His head? I was both kind and critical, giving and selfish, busy and wasteful with my time. I got in the pool with the kids this afternoon, but got angry with them tonight. I ate too much junk and didn't pray enough for others. I was attentive and distant, accommodating and guarded.
What makes one day better than another? Do we measure our success by our level of happiness? Do we measure it by how we persevered in the trials of life? Can we say it was a good day if our good deeds outnumber the bad? What does God think is a "good day"? My mind is tired. Can you tell?
I'm going to bed now. I'm going to lay there very still and listen to the silence hum. GOOD night.