For those of you with burning questions concerning the profundities of life, just give our house a call.
Our fourteen-year-old has all the answers.
And if she doesn't (GASP!), you'll be sure to get a "PSSHT, whatever," which I interpret as meaning "If I don't know it, it ain't worth knowing."
She's a spit fire, this girl, but quite entertaining. She will fight tooth and nail insisting she is right. No backing down. She'll take you to the mat over the most insignificant things.
The other night it was about which couple was getting voted off The Biggest Loser.
"Why are we wasting time on this? We all know who's going home," she hollered, impatient with her parents' use of the television.
We like to think we're teaching her patience and humility, so we egg her on a bit.
"What if you're wrong?" my husband asked.
"I'm not. The yellow team is going home. I know it. Any intelligent person can see that. We can quit now."
"Let's just see."
"PSSHT. You people." Her arms went flying into the air. "You can't admit I'm right."
"What if you're not?"
"I will be. You'll see."
Except she was wasn't. When the last vote was given, the yellow team was there to stay.
"HA!" We all pointed at her and yelled, "HA! Admit it. You were wrong!" (Don't ya just love our merciful spirits?)
"PSSHT, whatever. Obviously those people are idiots. . ." and she went on and on and on.
We looked on in amusement, saying absolutely nothing, spellbound by her ability to spin reality, until she finally stopped and said, "Why are you looking at me like I'm a wild animal or something?"
My husband and I exchanged glances and smirks, but exercised an astounding amount of self-control and resisted every urge to speak. Does she really not see she digs her own grave on these things?
Then there was the time last week she was ranting and raving about. . .I can't even remember what, except we were surely all morons and only she knew the correct answer on any and every subject. Anyone who offered a different opinion was immediately and utterly vilified.
Her older brother, used to her dramatic manner, knew only the right words would shut her up. He very calmly and cooly looked at her and said, "If our family was a reality show, I'm pretty sure everyone would hate you."
Even she couldn't help but laugh, although she tried to turn her head so we wouldn't see.
Her dad actually bailed her out that time saying, "Yeah, but she'd be the reason people would watch."
It's true. We all push the right buttons to see the tiger come out. And occasionally this spunk is exactly what her parents ordered, like the time a boy came up behind her at school, wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up. She didn't even look to see who it was before she turned around and slapped him across the face. That's my girl!
Sometimes these tumultuous teen years are so aggravating. There are many days I spend a lot of time sighing and/or growling, but how can I not be thankful for a daughter who won't take no guff off of nobody? Besides, I can see through her tough exterior. Inside there's an amazingly perceptive young woman who is a devoted friend and generous big sister. Though she doesn't vocalize it, I see within her a commitment to honesty and doing what is right. Her tenacity keeps her on the right path and for that I am truly thankful.
I love you, babe. You make me smile.
For more thankful Thursday posts, visit Spiritually Unequal Marriage.