Thursday, January 17, 2008

No Reason for Birthday Blues

Can I let you in on a little secret? Today is my birthday.

The years are starting to sound a little old to me. I am seeing the effects of aging more all the time and honestly, I'm not all that thrilled with it. I got freaked out when I went to renew my driver's license. I looked into the eye machine and it was so blurry I couldn't tell if they were numbers or letters. Thank the Lord for a gracious DMV lady! Last night I had a dream that suddenly the gray hairs in my head tripled. And yesterday I couldn't help but wince a little when my son said with eyebrows raised really high, "You're going to be 44?!" No reservations about growing older here, huh?

But when I think about what age I'd like to be, nothing stands out. I don't want to rush forward and miss something and I can't think of any year I'd want to live over again. I have no desire for the sleepless nights in my 20s and 30s with infants. I don't want to navigate the whole dating thing--it was bad enough the first time! I don't even want to be a carefree kid again, because as I recall, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I was supposed to be then. It was a little stressful! I was in the best shape of my life when I was 30 and 31, but I was probably dumber then too. It's a close call, but when choosing between smart or beautiful I'd have to pick smart. It doesn't fade as quickly as beautiful. Plus, my dear husband tells me what he finds most attractive about me is my head (still don't get that one, but hey, I'm not complaining).

So yes, I'm getting older. My hair is getting more gray in it. The wrinkles are getting deeper. I've never been considered "hot" and I've resigned myself to the fact it ain't gonna happen now. But I am happy, truly happy and content in my life. These 44 years have taught me much about life and God's great love and waiting on Him. If I dwell on what I've lost in youth I'll never appreciate what I gain with age.

It seems a little ironic to me that the verse I clung to as a young woman wondering how any man would ever want to marry me is the same verse I cling to as my body decays.

But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
1 Samuel 16:7

There is much more to me than what anyone sees on the outside. Though my exterior fades more every day, my interior, my heart, is getting better all the time thanks to the Spirit's work. Having another birthday means God's not quite done with me yet. He's still fine tuning which means every year I get a bit better. His grace to me and in me is producing something more meaningful and eternal than a youthful appearance.

Oh Lord, thank You for another year, another year to know You better, another year to experience Your surprises, another year to be better than the last. Fulfill Your plan in me. Continue to make me more than I am today.

Read more Thankful Thursday posts at Sting My Heart.


MiPa said...

Happy Birthday my friend! My next birthday is one of those *milestone* birthdays. ack! But, like you, I don't want to relive the stress of 20 or 30. Enjoy this age--smart enough to know that each age is to be cherished.

Brenda said...

I am trying to muster sympathy but at age 51 I am not finding it. I think 44 sounds pretty good. It is hard to watch our bodies, especially faces, get old. But our inner beauty should be growing! We can't visibly see your inside but we see it in the loving things you do and say! By the way, I believe I've told you, I think you have the most beautiful eyes. Happy Birthday!

Ginger said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ginger said...

As a newcomer to your blog, let me say d"Happy Birthday, Tami!" Hope it's a wonderful one (the Chinese say double numbers are lucky). May the year ahead be full of blessings.

lori said...

Happy Birthday girl....
I laughed when you said, "I've never been considered 'hot' and I've resigned myself to the fact it ain't gonna happen now." could you get a t-shirt printed with that on it...I'd buy one...add the verse of Samuel on the back...I have PLENTY of friends who'd buy one!!!

Thank GOD we grow in wisdom and learn from the mistakes of our youth!!!

Here's to a FABULOUS year of peace and mercy! I KNOW I have more gray then you~ and I'm hitting the bit 4-0 this year!

great post Tami!!

Nise' said...

Happy Birthday! Love Lori's idea of a T-shirt! LOL. I so agree with you about being in the better shape in early thirties but dumber!

Angie said...

Happy Birthday sweet Tami! I have two years onya sista! And at's hard for me to remember 44...but I congratulate you! You are always such a blessing to me! Have a great day---p.s. --enjoyed your thankful post!

Denise said...

Happy Birthday Tami! I happen to think you are beautiful - inside and out!! And, yes, I would like one of those t-shirts too!!! Enjoy your special day! Blessings to you! Denise R.

Heather@Mommymonk said...

I think it depends on your definition of "hot" - because you are on fire for God, so I'm guessing He thinks your heart AND your head are pretty hot! Happy Bday!

Susan said...

Happy Birthday Tami!

Great post, and I pray this will be a wonderful day for you.

Proverbs 31:30:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Keep shinning for HIM!

Denise said...

Happy Birthday beautiful daughter of the King.

Marsha said...

My birthday is Sunday! Happy Birthday fellow ancient one! Just joking....I'm the ancient one - 55. Thanks for the reminder about the drivers license. Mine expires on Sunday. The weather is bad here so I can't do it tomorrow and they'll be closed on Monday, so I'll be driving expired until Tuesday. It's my mind I miss the most! But I'm thankful for fellow TT posters who gently remind me.

eph2810 said...

Happy Birthday to you - Happy Birthday to you - Happy Birthday dear Tami; Happy Birthday to you!

I so totally love what you have written about getting older. I so agree - I am starting to be more content as I get older - but the Lord is still fine tuning me every single day :)

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful thoughts.

Be blessed today and always.

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday Tami, You know better than to complain about gray hair when one of your favorite high school buddies has been them since hs. Wish you a great day

Dianne said...

Happy Birthday, girl! Good reflection here. Love what you said about his grace . . . that's what it's all about.

Tami Boesiger said...

Hey ladies,
Thanks for all your kind birthday wishes! I had a great day.

And lori, LOVE your t-shirt idea! Funny stuff!

Cahleen 何凱琳 said...

Happy birthday, Tami! You're beautiful!