Monday, February 04, 2008

Wanting More Than One Day

I must confess when I read the topics for this month's Marriage Monday ("Top Ten Tips For the Ultimate Valentine's Celebration" or "My Most Memorable Valentine's Day Ever"), a little growl slipped out. I've never been a fan of Valentine's Day. For so many years it was only a reminder that I didn't have a "valentine" and once I did fall in love it seemed overrated. Call me a grouch, but most holidays gear us up for things that rarely materialize and Valentine's Day is no exception. We set ourselves up for disappointment. We dream of romantic getaways without the bank account to support it. We envision moonlit walks, holding hands and talking for hours and then we get outside and freeze our bejeebers off. We imagine steamy nights which, more often than not, are preceded by a day so crammed full all we feel like steaming once we finally can is milk.

I don't like what it does to me either, giving me expectations. Those jewelry store commercials get me thinking I would like diamonds. And when is he going to whisk me off to Paris for dinner? I dream of flowers and sappy cards and candlelit dinners where he showers me with adoration and simply can't take his eyes off of me. I start yearning for extravagant gifts I know he won't buy because he knows my practical side would hyperventilate if he actually brought it home. I look for and think about things I normally wouldn't. It doesn't seem quite fair, does it? Do we have to do this to ourselves?

I guess I don't understand why we need a special day to proclaim our love for each other. Why do we need to celebrate it when we live it every day? To me the perfect Valentine's Day is free of hype and expectations. It would be any old ordinary day that my husband showed me he truly loved me without provocation from a commercial world. It means more to me when he brings home flowers because I "seem a little down" than when the holiday dictates it. I find it kind of romantic that nearly every week he asks me out to lunch and even though it's only lunch, it feels like a date with his asking (which is why I always wear perfume and lipstick). I prefer his "I love you"s accompanied by a lingering hug, every single day, than the same sentiment expressed in a card for Valentine's Day. And Paris, who needs Paris when unexpected steamy nights (and sometimes lunch dates!) occur right at home. . .ooh la la?!

It's my prayer that we don't wait for Valentine's Day to celebrate our love. I pray we give each other the same consideration every day, not just when it's expected.

And to my dear, sweet husband, Wanna do lunch?

For more valentine ideas, check out Chrysalis.


Susan said...

Hey Tami,

Did I tell you I love your new blog? It's great!

OK, I'm with you 100%, but when you read my story you'll know why I got excited to share about a favorite Valentine memory.

What makes it so special, is the fact I didn't ASK my husband to do it.

It was his first time to do something special, (on his OWN) and the last. So...I'll cherish that night.

Yes, Valentine's is a time many women get themselves pumped up, only to be quickly deflated!

At my age, it's the everyday things that count.

Blessings to you!

Brenda said...

I completely understand your point and agree we should love each other every day. I do have to admit I love Valentine's Day though. It is right by our anniversary. I'm glad you have Kevin are doing what makes YOU feel loved and happy.

Connie Marie said...

I agree but sometimes it's fun to do the romantic stuff, not all the time but sometimes. One of the most romantic and best remembered flowers I ever recieved is when my boyfriend (husband now) picked some wild flowers for me. I loved them so much and will never forget that day, we didn't spend a cent!

Thanks for your words.

Heather said...

Woot! I am behind you a hundred percent!

Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog said...

ha ha! We are on the same page here! Love that I am not alone in my thinking! I enjoyed this!

Anonymous said...

i think it's more fun to be spontanious in the romantic department than to feel obligated on a certain date.. it sort of takes the fun out of it imo!

e-Mom said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts today, Tami.

Just a quick reminder that you can vote for next month's topic for Marriage Monday, if you haven't already. :~D

Anonymous said...

Steamy lunch dates,huh! Now I know to call before coming over! Have a great day. Love ya, Michelle

Dianne said...

I prefer lunch over dinner anytime. Seriously - you never need reservations, and my husband can actually see his food (very important to him - he hates candlelight!)

MrsJoeB said...

I agree that every day should be valentines day with our love but we know that doesn't always, work, illness....I could go on. This year we are hosting a valentine dinner and show for our youth church group and we are loving on them and putting on a little outrageous skit from the 'Dating Game' (gone wrong) and a version of the 'Newly Wed Game'-Christian style!! I think its going to be fun!!
In His Graces~Pamela

Angie said...

Tami---I SO AGREE! Commercials...hmmph! I love the spontaneous love---that sometimes comes with a card...sometimes a new light fixture! Sometimes---a new toilet seat! Before Christmas, our toilet seat broke...and it was the perfect know what I mean? Jeff went to Lowes' please me! AND when none of them "sat" right...he laughed (under his breath), but "temporarily repaired" the old one until they got the "right seat" in at Lowes! So it's definitely the "little" things...that make me KNOW he loves me! I may just need to blog that one!!