Thursday, March 13, 2008

Letting Go, But Holding On

In a few months, he'll live somewhere else. He'll have a life apart from us, two and half hours from home. There will be no more garbage left by the computer, no more hooting and smacking the table to make his siblings jump, no more wandering the house at night when he can't sleep, no more hiding behind corners to see how loud he can make his sister scream.

Our family will never be the same.

I keep telling myself it's part of life. Children grow up and move on. It's what we've been working for his whole life. He's ready for the next thing and frankly I'm a little excited about what my own future may hold. But none of this takes away the ache in my heart. It still feels like loss.

In setting out one of his new pictures, I had to move another of him at five years old, the ring bearer in a wedding, and a little pang shot in my chest. When he decided on a college this week, it seemed more real, and I shed a few tears. He's begun the "lasts" at school--the last homecoming, the last drum line show, the last show choir competition. . .*SIGH*

But God, in His mercy, tells me, "Concentrate on what you WON'T be losing."

I'll still get his phone calls telling me who he is even though I already know. "Hey, Mom, it's Keygan."

Since he's going into the same field as his dad, I'll get to watch them "talk shop."

Because he's never shied away from it at any age, I know he'll always have a hug ready when he sees me.

We'll have an excuse for family road trips.

I won't lose the pride I feel when he does his thing and does it well. The kid knows how to charm even his mother.

I will always and forever be his mom. He will always and forever be my son. No distance, no age can take that away from us.

I may be losing my little boy, but I'm gaining a man, with interesting ideas and a fun sense of humor and a slew of gifts I'm anxious to see God hone. What is there to be upset about?

Thank You, Lord, for the gift of this son and the privilege to watch him grow. Make him into Your vision of what he should be.

For more Thankful Thursday posts, visit Sting My Heart.


Brenda said...

Wow Tami, you have a very clear understanding of what it will be like already. With our 2 girls so far away I love the phone conversations, the emails, visiting them, having them visit us. It is a whole new relationship. It is a good one. Fun. Rewarding. It is the result of all those years of parenting. Well done Tami.

e-Mom said...

Tami, I'm right with you. We've been empty nesters for almost a year now. They both left us in stages... little-by-little. With aging parents to care for, the enormity of our loss was dulled. Now that the older generation is on the road to recovery, we're feelin' the pain. :~D

You will always and forever by Keygan's Mom. That's a comfort isn't it?

Big hugs, e-Mom

Susan said...

Oh Tami...

What a tender post♥

I've had to do this seveal times already. One of my son's are heading to China to teach English soon, now that is TOO far!

Seasons, changes, thank God we know it's all just "temporary".

Blessings to you this TT.

Sending a great big HUG your way~

Rachelle said...

I love the fact that we get to watch God, "make them into His vision" and what He knows their future holds. Hugs............I'm sure it will be great things!

Denise said...

May God sweetly bless your precious son.

Ellen said...

What a special Thankful Thursday for you. My son is only 14, but I'm already finding myself getting teared up about the thought of him leaving.

Angie said...

You are so right about all the things you WILL have! I know that it's hard...both of our girls are grown and gone...fortunately, not too far. And the visits back at home are extra sweet! Thanks for praying for me. No fever to speak of this morning...only achey feeling. But hopefully it will pass. Hey-I lost 4 lbs! Not the way I would have liked to lose it...but hey I'm not one to complain how a goal is achieved!

e-Mom said...

P.S. You've won an award! When you get a chance, please stop by to pick it up.

Hugs, e-Mom

Cheryl said...

I am going through the same thing with my son. He graduated last May. Going to a small college close to home. He wants to spread his wings and I am trying to let him. I think I am ready. I think he is ready. Thanks for such a great post. I needed to hear this today. God Bless~

Rachelle said...

Tami, it has been months since I've done any blog reading and I've missed you! I love your "new" blog design although I have no idea how long you've had it! What a beautiful post... I think about this all the time even though I'm still seven years away from being where you are... you put it beautifully, focusing on what you won't be losing and what you'll gain. Wonderful.

eph2810 said...

Oh, Tami - I so needed to read this tonight. Although our son is out of the house for the past 5 months - now he thinking moving across the ocean...

Yes - there will be tears, but on the other hand I am also really, really proud of him how much he has grown to become independent.

Thank you so much for sharing your grateful heart with us this past week.

Blessings to you and your wonderful family.