Maybe it got to me because I spent the day before feeling frustrated that I wasn't seen as important. When you're a HOMEMAKER, people don't ask you about your "job". They don't find it or you interesting and I find conversations are nearly always centered on someone else. Maybe I'm tired of living in the shadow of others or having everyone else's needs be more important than mine. (Boy, my self-centeredness is making its way front and center--ouch!) Maybe I'm tired of waiting for it to be my turn to shine (or worried it never will be). Or maybe I'm just feeling old (getting a mammogram and glasses in the same week will do that to ya). Most likely I am just plain tired and could use a nap for a good attitude adjustment.
I know the title HOMEMAKER doesn't begin to explain who I am and what I do, just as any title doesn't come close to describing the work of its holder. So I have to ask myself, what is my real problem?
I sat down and talked with God about it and He brought up this:
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
But I want to be used by God more.
There is no room for arrogance and self-centeredness in His work. He knew I'd have a problem with it I guess, and so He gave me this HOMEMAKER gig. And I do like my life, very much. I just need to quit looking around and put my nose to the grindstone in what He's asked of me.
As for those who seemed to be important--whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance. . .
I don't have a fancy title or impressive credentials, Lord, but I have You. I am secure in You. Forgive me for playing the comparison game. I don't have to prove myself. I am who I am, Your servant, Your child, Your chosen instrument for the jobs You give me.
By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. . .
1 Corinthians 15:10