Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Un-nesting

The year of Tami feeling old continues. . .

Yesterday we took our son to his college's Summer Advising and Enrollment day. Yes, this is really happening. It was pretty weird sitting through the sessions, remembering exactly how it felt over twenty-five years ago when I was the potential student. I'm sure I wasn't alone in my feelings as my husband kept looking around the room saying, "We look younger than them, don't we? They're older than us, don't you think? We're probably some of the youngest ones here, wouldn't you say?" I didn't burst his bubble and just let him live in lala land, shrugging my shoulders and raising my eyebrows politely.

He, on the other hand, kept telling me to take a breath and calm down. What I thought was cheerful, fun-loving conversation, he decided was running off at the mouth. "Honey, really, you're talking 500 miles an hour. Take a breath." Yeah. Right. King Blabbermouth was trying to tell me to zip it. Where does he get off? When I appealed to Keygan for help, he just shook his head and laughed saying, "Geez, Mom."

Okay, so maybe I was a wee bit anxious about being there. Nah, had to be too much caffeine.

Throughout the day matronly control slipped from my fingers. (Who am I kidding? When was the last time I was really in control?!) I was slapped up side the head with the realization I am going to have to let the kid go. I know. I'm working on it, truly I am. And I must say the college did a good job of helping me. Obviously they've dealt with this. I'm pretty sure they designed the day to be baby steps for moms like me. We were together with our kids for the whole morning, but after lunch they took the students to register for classes AWAY from us. We got no say. I couldn't even mumble or sigh over his shoulder to direct his choices. It felt like a deliberate snip of the apron strings. And they may as well have given every afternoon speaker a megaphone to scream, "Back off, woman!"

I got the message loud and clear. I've got to let him sink or swim. Dang.

Lord, help us both!

11 comments:

Living Beyond said...

"Back off woman" lol

Take a deep breathe you will be just fine. Just think of the accomplishment - you are raising your boy well to start making the life choices he needs to to survive.

Not that I'm an expert I do not have children but dogs - not the same but I often send them to their room and tell them to not speak to their mother that way lol

MiPa said...

I can't even imagine...and I don't have to for several more years. But at that time I definitely won't be the youngest parent in the room---the joys of waiting to have kids.
Praying for you as you un-nest. Remember HE has a bigger nest for both you and your son. {{hugs}}

Ginger said...

Bless you. As someone who works at a Christian university, I watch parents go through this every year. It's traumatic. You do your kid such a huge favor by letting him go and encouraging him to make his own plans and solve his own problems...but it's so tough!

Emiley said...

Oh, Tami...I can't even imagine. Tomorrow, I am sending one off to camp for 3 days and I'm just about a wreck. :-) Keygan is going to SO well, and you will, too, I'm quite sure.

Brenda said...

I was at church today and was ranting and raving to your husband about my boys fighting and he said "take a breath"....It was good though. I needed one. It is hard to have them leave but what an exciting time in their lives.

Lisa said...

Rough week at my house for that too! My oldest moved into his 1st apartment. It is the bed that really got me. I am not sure what is really the difficult part. Worrying about if he will sink or swim, or realizing that our family will never be like it was before. This is the beginning of his own life.

Brenda said...

Lisa,

As our girls started leavng my husband and I started making more time to reconnect with each other. It was a reminder that eventually it will be the two of us and we need to spend more time having fun alone. Go out and do something really fun with your husband you haven't done in a long time. In other words I felt focusing on my relationship with my husband helped me not to focus so much on the kids that were leaving. Two have gone so far and three are still home.

Melanie said...

Oh, wow... I can't even imagine. I'm sure I'll be a mess myself once that day comes at our house.

Have a great weekend!

Christine said...

I know that will be me before I know it. I cracked up at your hubby's comments about being younger than everyone else. Jason can't seem to get that we really are beginning to look older. He always says things similar about us being younger, or is surprised when he finds out someone's age (God forbid he finds out they are actually younger than us!!) is not what he thought.

We're with you and we love you!!

Denise said...

This experience for me is just a mere two years away and I am already dreading it! I can appreciate what you are going through as I anticipate this same change in our life soon.

I think Kevin's take on everything was hilarious! It reminded me of being in China when Byron was looking around the group and saying the same thing. I guess they worry about some of the same things we do after all. :)

Rachelle said...

You will BOTH be fine!