Monday, August 11, 2008

Pondering relationships

You find yourself drawn to a person. There's a pull that makes you secretly hope to run into the them and live through the awkward conversations that eventually lead to a good relationship, but also a fear of letting them see who you truly are ('cause what if they don't like you once they really know you), which sometimes causes avoidance. You hide behind responsibilities and busyness so as not to seem too vulnerable or needy. And then there's the possibility the other person doesn't feel the same way about you. Ouch.

Maybe I think about these things too much, but I find it fascinating to ponder how relationships are formed. Don't you ever wonder about this stuff?

What makes us stick our neck out to approach another?
What have we missed out on because we weren't willing to put ourselves out there?
How are emotional ties built?
What makes you decide to risk it and pursue a person?
How do you know someone is safe?
What causes you to know you can trust someone?
Is that awareness built slowly through experience or do you just know?
Can you truly know another person's heart?
Is it possible to adequately express yourself to those you love or does their love for you make them believe the best about you even when they don't understand?
What makes you give someone the benefit of the doubt to believe the best about them?

Even after the relationships are formed, trusting someone always involves risk. People will let us down. They can't know everything that runs through our heads or our pasts that affect our responses. So why do we take the chance? What do we see in some people that gives us the go ahead?

I am drawn to people for many reasons:

The Spirit of God is evident in their life.
They are willing to ask the tough questions I mull over.
I admire something in them and wish I was more like them.
They think deeply and discuss issues articulately.
They are a blast to be around.
Conversation is easy and goes beyond surface issues.
They seem to respect and appreciate me.

What about you? What makes you take a chance on a person?


e-Mom said...

Excellent questions, Tami. I've been pondering this myself a lot lately. We're considering a move, and that means a whole new crop of friends. Am I up to it? Praying, praying...

Brenda said...

That was a lot of big deep questions. I guess I just try to be friendly with everyone and then when a connection happens it happens. Must be a God thing that brings us together because I'm clueless on my own.

MiPa said...

I think sometimes the relationship comes easy because of common interest or just being fun together. But other relationships take time and risk. They are the ones where someone challenges me to think or to know what I'm saying or to grow in some way. Those are often the God-ordained relationships to develop me, and I hope that I take the risk more often than refuse it.

Anonymous said...

I love a post I can sink my teeth (or thought)into. I think part of the intrigue of relationships is a mutual understanding that each are on a journey toward the same goal. To be more like Jesus. Although their paths may be quite different, great friends will inspire each other and propel growth faster and more accurately on the journey.

How could I be silent on this one? Great post.


Susan said...

OK, I'm still here reading!!

Another great post. Hmmm, I always look forward to your posts.

OK, let's see, what draws me to people?

First it would God is evident in their lives.

I'm drawn to people who are real, and passionate.

Thoughtfulness always gets me too.

Hmmm, sounds like I'm describing the reasons I keep coming to YOUR BLOG!!

What a blessing you are Tami!!

So grateful for YOU!!

Pam said...

I find myself longing for close friendships now more than ever in my life. I guess I've never had a close friend to really bond with down deep. I have a few now and I enjoy my time with them very much! Each one has a different life but all love God. Yet I still find myself drawn to you Tami as wanting to have a deep relationship (sounds corney uh?) with. Maybe because we seem to be on the same page with our emotions and thoughts in our heads. I hope our busyness doesn't stop us from what I think God would like us to be as friends.