Falling for Jesus

I put the poster in an inconspicuous place in my room, a spot easy to miss if anyone visited, saving me any explanations. It seemed a little childish, this sheet I made myself with plain white paper and markers, but I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. I worked hard on it as an assignment for VBS, even though I resented I had to attend as a seventh grader. There was no picture, only a Bible verse I drew out of a hat. It said,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

But the placement of it in a little corner opposite my bed, made it the last thing I saw when I laid down to sleep and the first thing I read when I arose each morning. When a bad day hit and I questioned my place in life, there it was.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

When I wished I was as funny and thin as my sister, it told me:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

And when I sat through confirmation classes, hearing things I'd never heard before, things too good to be true, that silly poster urged me to believe it. My pastor said, "God has a special plan for your life." He said, "You were created uniquely" and "God knows everything about you. Nothing in your life is a mistake. He has a specific purpose just for you." Though everything in me wanted it, how could God be intimately involved in the lives of so many people? How could I be special? How could my weaknesses be there for a reason?

But there it was, every day, in black and white (or actually purple and white) on the wall of my bedroom, the same answer to every question.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

One day I sat on my bed pondering it all. Pastor said we could claim these promises as our very own if we asked Jesus to be a part of our lives. How could it be that easy? I stared at that poster until my vision became blurry and something in me stirred.

Believe it.

I closed my eyes, bowed my head and prayed, "Jesus, I don't understand all this. I don't know if this is real, but if it is, please come into my life. Please make me special and unique. Give me purpose. Make me more than what I am."

I didn't feel any different when I finished. No angels sang. No confetti fell from the ceiling. I didn't tell a single person.

Yet I was changed forever.

And I realized if this one verse held such power, I should be reading the rest of my Bible. The words were a balm to my young heart, confirming the things my pastor said. Some thirty years later, I can easily see the impact of God's Word on my life. I do have purpose. I do feel unique and sometimes even special.

Yet some things haven't changed. I still don't understand a lot. Sometimes it seems too good to be true. I always have tons of questions for God.

And He consistently gives me the same answer.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

Believe it.