Friday, April 17, 2009

Another Friday

1) I had an interesting experience yesterday, visiting the school I taught at twenty years ago. It was one of those rare times where different stages of your life intersect together. A friend who used to live in the town we do now is the band director there and I went to work with her clarinet players. While I was there I met up with a former student who is now a math teacher. And I knew the principal and his wife, an art teacher there, from the year we lived in Wahoo. All these people from different areas and times together in the same room. Weird. Fun and enjoyable, but weird.

It reminded me of a time we had dinner at the home of my husband's cousin who became great friends with a woman I used to babysit for when I was a teenager. The same woman was a youth group sponsor to a former student of mine and years later we sat together over dinner--the cousin, the lady I babysat for and the student. Relationships spanning different decades of my life all standing in the same room. It makes you feel like you should start looking for cameras or something.

2) The linden tree outside my dining room window is starting to blossom and is so pretty. I think Spring is finally here (unless you live in Denver). I'm not one of those people who longs for Spring all Winter. I don't mind the winter months. I love snow and sweaters and getting cozy on the couch with blankets. Spring reminds me summer is coming--my least favorite season.

3) It's been nice having our Saturdays back lately. The winter months keep us hopping to our kids' musical events, but that season is over now. I'm remembering how much can be accomplished with an entire day at home and enjoying a more easy going pace on Saturday mornings. Aah. . .

4) I was watching television while working out this morning at the Y. Kelly Ripa was on with her husband, Mark Conseulos, filling in for Regis and they were doing a segment on "recession proof cars" which they described as cars under $25,000. Both of them were like, "Do you get more than just wheels and a windshield? What kind of car can you really buy for under $25,000?!" What kind of fantasy world do these people live in? I don't think I've ever paid more than $10,000 for a car in my life. I've never owned a brand new car either, but still. C'mon.

5) As a kid I remember watching my parents and their friends talk and wondering what it must be like to be a grown-up. I'm still wondering. Why don't I feel like an adult yet when I have four children of my own, one of which is out of the house?

6) We had a disturbing discussion at Bible study this week regarding relationships and the difficulty in finding deep, meaningful ones, even at church. I remember feeling the same way when we moved to town. For several years I felt pretty lonely and unknown, but eventually I made some good friends I could rely on.

The frustration seems to be the lack of depth people find in their relationships. Ten minutes after a worship service isn't cutting it and I heard women lament that few people are reaching out and cultivating real friendships. This is tough. You can't force connection. You can be friendly and available, but you can't convince someone to rely on you. You can't manufacture a feeling of closeness or understanding. How do you produce the comfort level that tells you it's okay to call someone late at night or tease them about their bed head?

Doesn't this take time? And how much of this is related to admitting our need, to taking risks and asking something of others? Should we expect some reciprocation when we attempt to forge a friendship? Why is this so hard?

In these sorts of discussions, I always feel like someone is being blamed and I feel guilty, but then feel resentful for feeling guilty because I try really hard to connect with people.

What is the answer?

7) Sigh. Thinking on #6 put me in a melancholy mood. It's true that when one person in the Body suffers, we all do. Any insight or advice would be appreciated!

Enjoy the weekend, friends and take a peek at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes.


Dianne said...

Going to comment on your #6. A few weeks ago our pastor was preaching from James 5, where it says is any among you troubled - let him pray. That wasn't the sum of the whole message but point was - there is some responsibility on the point of the person who wants to feel connected. I appreciate that our church is always available when people are in need and yet i think that may be because they're not off chasing people down who just aren't ready. You're right - you can't manufacture that feeling of relationship and connection.

Brenda said...

I could relate to so many of these things
#1 I have had that overlapping of friends situation before and it is such an odd feeling.
#2 Spring is my second favorite. Summer my absolute favorite.
#3 We have had some very relaxing Saturdays since swim season is over..if it is ever truly over. I am actually catching up around here.
#4 Ditto
#5 I still don't feel grown up yet. I figure it will come in handy when I start grandparenting some day.
#6 I do so work on this too. No need to feel guilty. One person can't have deep meaningful relationships with a large number of people. I believe we are meant to connect on that level with a few. It does take time, effort and prayer on both parties parts.