Monday, May 04, 2009

Seasons of Marriage

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis

Twenty years ago, we dreamed of having kids. Ten years ago, with a house full of them, we missed our freedom. Five years ago, we could leave them alone for a few hours. Today we have the best of both worlds, kids living at home, yet old enough for us to get away without them.

Neither one of us was home for lunch twenty years ago. Ten years ago, he came home for lunch, but was mauled by kids while there. Five years ago, we started a weekly lunch date. Today he lingers at lunch time.

Twenty years ago, I thought he was wonderful. Ten years ago I wasn't sure I liked him all that much when his selective hearing kicked in, preventing his attending to the screaming baby at 3:AM. Five years ago there were days I liked him and days I didn't. Today I understand that's normal and has nothing to do with my love for him.

Twenty years ago we worried about having enough money to pay rent. Ten years ago we worried about having enough for diapers and formula. Five years ago we worried about braces. Today we worry about paying for teen drivers, cell phones and college.

When he slept in twenty years ago, I happily joined him. When he slept in ten years ago, I let the kids be as loud as they could to wake him up. When he slept in five years ago, I was annoyed, but let it go. Now I don't say a word when he sleeps in because it means more quiet time for me.

Twenty years ago, it was only the two of us. Ten years ago, we added our fourth child. Five years ago, they were all in school for the first time. Now, we have one in every level of education--elementary, middle school, high school and college.

I thought he was cute twenty years ago. Ten years ago, the charm of being a daddy added to his appeal. Five years ago, a little extra weight and few gray hairs looked really good on him. Today, Mmm, mmm, mmm, baby, that man is fine.

When I walked into a room twenty years ago, he was often so involved in something else he didn't notice. Ten years ago he couldn't help but notice when I drug in a passel of kids. Five years ago he noticed when I wasn't there. Today he sees me walk in. And smiles.

I was crazy about him twenty years ago. Ten years ago, I worried I depended on him more than God. Five years ago, I was sure I couldn't have found a better mate. Now I see he is.

In twenty-two years of marriage, we have been in a lot of good places (and some not so good places), but today is the very best. He is better now than ever. WE are better now than ever. Time has been our friend. God has sustained us and strengthened us.

And we are blessed.

The creator of Marriage Monday is our host for the summer. Pop in and say hi to Christine at Fruit in Season.


Dianne said...

Very sweet, Tami! well done.

tonya said...

I loved your post, it showed your love and commitment in such a sweet way. :)

e-Mom said...

Awesome! Loved this Tami. :~D

Cheri Gregory said...

Tami --

Oh, what a fun experience of deja vu I had reading this! Kept going, "Me too!...Me too!...Me too!"

Something about 20 years is so satisfying.

Thank you for sharing!!!

Jaime (ChaseNKids) said...

This was a joy to read. Thank you so much for sharing.


The Surrendered Scribe said...

You definitely gave a great perspective on seasons, and that one doesn't have to be better than the other. What a lovely blog!

bp said...

Awwww, I love this! How very sweet. I enjoyed reading how things have changed through the years for you and your family/husband.

Denise said...

I really enjoyed this post dear.

Rachelle said...

Good Stuff!!

MiPa said...

Tami, This brings tears to my eyes not only because I see myself in it (we are at that stage of sometimes missing freedom because of young kids) but also can see the future. Thanks for reminding me the future is sweet in a different way! Bless you.

Constance said...

Girl that was GREAT! I have been exactly in those same places with those same feelings! Like you, we have been through the phases of marriage with small kids and now our youngest is graduating from HS next month. This is the first time it's been just the 2 of us and we are pretty pumped! Dave will hopefully retire in *6 more years and then our kids will NEVER find us! We'll be out having so much fun they'll have to send out S&R! Thanks for sharing what was on your heart and for obviously seeing inside my own!

norma said...

George and I will be celebrating our 30 year mark this month. And let me tell you-----IT DOES GET BETTER---but different!