7 Quick Takes (Volume 43)

1) Somewhere in my kitchen, there's a tiny little spider having a lot of fun at my expense. Twice this week I've run into some kind of web trap while opening my pantry door. He's sneaky, the little guy, there's no sign of anything until I've got a thin thread of stickiness tickling my arm or rubbing across my face. The second time it happened I hadn't had my caffeine yet which was very annoying. Can't you just imagine him and his microscopic little buddies hanging out to see it?

"Wait for it, wait for it. . ." the culprit says as the groggy woman approaches the pantry door. Her hand turns the knob and suddenly she's swiping her arm, growling.

"Ha, yeah, that's what I'm talking about," the itty-bitty spiders chuckle and little high-fives abound.

Do you think I need to get out more?

2) We've had a strange little virus attacking our house this week. Only one kid actually experienced vomit and diarrhea, but we've all had some part of it--nausea, dizziness, headaches, fatigue. It's nothing horrible and hasn't stopped me from doing my normal stuff (dang it), but is generally annoying. Hey, maybe that should be my word for the week, huh?

3) A former student, who's an up and coming photographer, took a picture of me at the reunion I attended a few weeks ago. Is this the "death stare" my college girls accused me of having?



Doesn't look so intimidating to me. You girls are pansies.

4) I finally caught an episode of So You Think You Can Dance. Wow. What must it feel like to have that kind of body control? The beauty, the grace, the strength. . .I'm so envious. Wow.

Did you ever see that episode of Malcolm in the Middle where Lois takes dance lessons? Her instructor praises her so much she imagines herself as some amazing ballroom dancer. Wanting to share her exceptional talent with her family, she shows them a video tape of the last session of class. Actually seeing herself in action, she discovers she is really a bumbling klutz her instructor was praising in hopes she would move on out of his class.

That would be me, imagining myself flowing and graceful, only to find out later I was a train wreck. I'm not exaggerating. Just ask my husband. I have great desire, little talent. I blame it on the traumatizing way I learned to dance. That's a whole 'nother story. You'll have to buy the book for that one!

5) Speaking of traumatizing experiences, I think our gecko hates me now. Whenever I come near, he starts panting.

"No, no, not that mean lady, anyone but her. Does she have a tweezers in her hands? Please, God, no!"

Doesn't he know I could have saved his life? Whatever happened to the hero worship some doctors get from their patients? Some day he'll thank me, right?

6) I tried to do a good mom thing and have some mother-daughter bonding time with my girls. We went out for breakfast and were having a great time, when suddenly the whole thing fell apart. We left the restaurant with one of them crying, the other one cobbing a major attitude, their mother lecturing them all the way home and each of us stomping off to our respective places in the house.

Well that was so worth it, wasn't it?

I'm never quite sure how to handle such situations. Each one of us reacted badly. It ended up fine after we cooled off and apologized, but is there a way to avoid these ugly scenes in the first place? PLEASE don't tell me it's all part of the hormonal world we females live in. Yuck.

7) I'm thinking about donning a black arm band. I'm wearing out my "skinny" shorts. I dubbed them that after my husband sidled up next to me and said in a smooth voice, "You're looking skinny in these." Of course, he may have had ulterior motives, but I take what I can get, people.

Anyway, my beloved "skinny" shorts are slowly disintegrating. Yesterday when I slipped them on, a belt loop ripped right off. First my favorite flip-flops, now this. Will my fashion woes never end?

You can feel sorry for me or mock me or whatever. At the very least, have a great weekend and take a peek at more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.