Monday, July 27, 2009

Darkness and Light


We are only what we are in the dark; all the rest is reputation. What God looks at is what we are in the dark- the imaginations of our minds, the thoughts of our heart, the habits of our bodies; these are the things that mark us in God’s sight. Character is what you are in the dark.

Oswald Chambers
My Utmost for His Highest

It's a heady quote, isn't it?

What am I in the dark? Are any of us honest enough with ourselves to know?

In the dark, I have been

restless,
confused,
lost in my own perspective,
accusing,
overwhelmed with worry,
rebellious,
weary of the battle,
jealous,
hurt,
weak,
angry,
helpless to help myself,
stupid,
self-absorbed,
overcome with emotion

What do these say about my character? Do they say I'm a fake? Do they insinuate I don't trust God like I say I do?

I have to answer yes. Yet I am thankful for my dark, because in my dark I am all too aware of my inadequacies. In my dark, I desire a merciful, loving, forgiving God. My dark and the fears which lie there motivate me to find the Light, force me to seek Him. What I am in the dark may reveal my true character, but it also proves and necessitates my need for a Savior.

If I had no need, would I ever find Him?

Thank You, Jesus, for the dark and for Your light.


Man, o man, Deborah, you've made my head spin with this one. Be sure to get her take (which is bound to be more profound and definitive than mine) and those of others by clicking over to Chocolate and Coffee.

8 comments:

Jaime said...

God is speaking to me through your blog on this one! I have been wrestling with some thoughts all week long and have seriously been haunted by them! Thank you for the quote and your words of reflection. God knew I needed them!

Chocolate and Coffee said...

Tami, your post is awesome! I think many of us feel inadequate in the dark but praise God, He makes us who we are in Jesus. The enemy can constantly throw us darts but with God we will be conquerors! Thanks for participating this week in IOW. Blessings and hugs!

Karen said...

Your "what I am in the dark" list looks a lot like mine. That was a really great way to show a point in this quote. Your head must have spun the right way or maybe it was heart and what you learned in the dark, we need Jesus and our dark moments prove it.

Rachelle said...

Wow! That's exactly how I felt last night, waiting for the rain to come (that never came) all the while, not being able to sleep either. Thanks friend for the perspective and thoughts.

HisFireFly said...

Wow! What a true and convicting reply to this weeks quote.

Bless you for your honest answer!

Brenda said...

I have a lot of those feelings too. Maybe it is God revealing our human fraility to us so that we see we need Him.

MiPa said...

Our lists look similar. But you challenge me to be thankful for the dark. That.is.so.hard. But so necessary as well. Thanks my friend.

Debbie said...

Yes Tami, in our inadequacies we look to Him. I'm grateful for that too.