Monday, October 12, 2009

Movie Moments

On my way to rehearsal it started snowing, a light snow that twinkled in the air. And all I could think about was how romantic it would be to dance in the snow with my husband. He thought it best not to ignore our assembled cast and chorus. I get it, but wouldn't it have been fun to take the whole group outside for five minutes and revel in life for a while? Isn't that something you've seen in a movie somewhere?

But it doesn't seem like life accommodates movie moments, does it?

I dream all day of dozing on the couch in the evening, tangled in my husband's arms, only to have kids who need help with homework and a husband glued to his laptop working on orchestrations.

I look forward to our traditional movie marathon on New Year's Eve, our entire family hunkered down for a whole day of movies and junk food and jammies and then our kids get better offers.

I imagine meaningful gatherings, but find when we're together I don't know what to say to spark the conversation. Neither do they and we spend our time watching the kids banter back and forth, hardly connecting at all ourselves.

I want his eyes to pop out when I walk into the room and hear a little growl as he saunters up to me. Instead, he makes a beeline to ask me if I have any mints.

Truth be told (and I feel like I should whisper here), I wouldn't even mind steaming up the car windows some time just to make people wonder!

I know. I know. Life doesn't work that way. I'm learning. I realize movie moments can't be planned. They're there, but they come when we least expect it and only when we're living in the here and now, not wishing for something beyond our reality. If I'm too busy pining away for something magical to happen, I might miss what is right before me.

Like the way Miss Innocent One has a trademark way of saying good night or good bye. She always gives the final peck on my cheek, often followed by an "I love you, Mom" and a look of adoration that never fails to melt my heart. Beautiful.

Or the wonderful summer evening a friend and I spent outside, a gentle breeze blowing around us, enjoying cheesecake and coffee and an intimate conversation which soothed my soul and boosted my spirit. Total movie moment.

And a time I'll never forget, where the words coming out of an actor's mouth, words I had written myself, sparked me to ask God one more time why He answered no to my earnest prayers. Right there in the middle of a performance, He explained it to me. Completely overwhelming and awe inspiring.

And just this week, the day after I'd spent one in bed sick, my husband and I sat at an ATM machine while I fished in my purse for our card. When I handed it to him, he was staring at me smiling.

"You look really nice," he said, "I was worried about you yesterday." Then he leaned in for a tender kiss.

Can you hear the soundtrack?! It makes me sigh just thinking about it.

I wonder. How many of these moments have I missed because I'm wishing for something different? How many times have my imaginations clouded the vision of today?

Lord, open my eyes to the beauty all around me, the magic You have placed in my life. Help me hear the score of Your music in my every day, resisting the temptation to plan my movie moments. Help me recognize the surprise and wonder in my ordinary.

. . .I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10:10


Brenda said...

I really liked this Tami. So meaningful.

Linda said...

Your posts do the same thing. They allow me to stop, take a soothing breath and look at life through a beautiful lens.

Jaime Kubik said...

I want a movie moment today -- over extravagent husband who pampers me while I'm ill, begging me to go to bed while he feeds the kids and takes care of the house while I get my rest....movies or make-believe....I'd take it either way! Ha!