Bashing Ourselves

My husband's been getting on my case lately about being hard on myself for, well . . . everything. Someone can always run further and faster, sing better, top me as a mother, be more fit than me, cook and clean better, be more articulate, have a prettier smile, or surpass me at . . . fill-in-the-blank.

"You need to stop that," he says, "Half the stuff doesn't matter and most of it isn't true. And who cares anyway? You never acknowledge the good stuff in you. It's not right."

Yeah . . .

I suspect you do the same thing, dismiss yourself and your good qualities thinking others do it better. I mean, really, we know who we are, don't we sisters? We may be better than we've ever been, but there's always someone who tops us. Am I right? Besides, isn't it humble to understand who you aren't?

Except bashing ourselves doesn't recognize God's beautiful creation, does it?

“People go abroad to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of the rivers, at the vast compasses of the ocean . . . . and they pass by themselves without even imagining.”

St. Augustine of Hippo

We are works of art, every bit as much as a spectacular sunset or newborn baby. We've been designed, not thrown together. We have purpose and meaning and BEAUTY. We're the only thing made in the image of God! Just as the owl that soothes me everyday with its gentle hooting has no idea he moves me, we may never understand how He uses us, His perfect creation, but He does. How dare we declare His work not good.

We wouldn't dream of criticizing a trickling stream or a toddler singing "Jesus Loves Me." We marvel at a full moon that does nothing but sit there, yet kick ourselves around for not performing to a certain level. We sigh at the summer breeze blowing through our hair, only doing what it was meant to do, yet miss the lesson for ourselves.

If we valued who we are, forgot about who we aren't, and do what we are designed to do, just like the rest of God's beautiful creation, would we bring Him more glory?

Genesis 1:31 says, "God saw all that he had made and it was very good." ALL He made, including man. And woman. And me. And YOU.

Perhaps my husband is right (ugh). It's time to start seeing myself the same way I see a clear, starry night or a glassy pond or a tiny infant fist. As perfect. And wondrous. And beautiful. Very good.

A work of art.

Can you see yourself as God's awesome creation?


Visit our hostess, Nina, at Mama's Little Treasures for more thoughts on this quote.

Looking the Right Way

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

Amen.

Awe-Full

Great and holy God
awe and reverence
fear and trembling
do not come easily to us
for we are not
Old Testament Jews
or Moses
or mystics
or sensitive enough.
Forgive us
for slouching into Your presence
with little expectation
and less awe
than we would eagerly give a visiting dignitary.
We need
neither Jehovah nor a buddy--
neither "the Great and Powerful Oz" nor "the man upstairs."
Help us
to want what we need. . .
You
God
and may the altar of our hearts
tremble with delight
at
Your visitation
amen.

by Frederick Ohler
taken from the Mosiac Bible, p. 89



Photo Credit: kern.justin

Movie Moments

On my way to rehearsal it started snowing, a light snow that twinkled in the air. And all I could think about was how romantic it would be to dance in the snow with my husband. He thought it best not to ignore our assembled cast and chorus. I get it, but wouldn't it have been fun to take the whole group outside for five minutes and revel in life for a while? Isn't that something you've seen in a movie somewhere?

But it doesn't seem like life accommodates movie moments, does it?

I dream all day of dozing on the couch in the evening, tangled in my husband's arms, only to have kids who need help with homework and a husband glued to his laptop working on orchestrations.

I look forward to our traditional movie marathon on New Year's Eve, our entire family hunkered down for a whole day of movies and junk food and jammies and then our kids get better offers.

I imagine meaningful gatherings, but find when we're together I don't know what to say to spark the conversation. Neither do they and we spend our time watching the kids banter back and forth, hardly connecting at all ourselves.

I want his eyes to pop out when I walk into the room and hear a little growl as he saunters up to me. Instead, he makes a beeline to ask me if I have any mints.

Truth be told (and I feel like I should whisper here), I wouldn't even mind steaming up the car windows some time just to make people wonder!

I know. I know. Life doesn't work that way. I'm learning. I realize movie moments can't be planned. They're there, but they come when we least expect it and only when we're living in the here and now, not wishing for something beyond our reality. If I'm too busy pining away for something magical to happen, I might miss what is right before me.

Like the way Miss Innocent One has a trademark way of saying good night or good bye. She always gives the final peck on my cheek, often followed by an "I love you, Mom" and a look of adoration that never fails to melt my heart. Beautiful.

Or the wonderful summer evening a friend and I spent outside, a gentle breeze blowing around us, enjoying cheesecake and coffee and an intimate conversation which soothed my soul and boosted my spirit. Total movie moment.

And a time I'll never forget, where the words coming out of an actor's mouth, words I had written myself, sparked me to ask God one more time why He answered no to my earnest prayers. Right there in the middle of a performance, He explained it to me. Completely overwhelming and awe inspiring.

And just this week, the day after I'd spent one in bed sick, my husband and I sat at an ATM machine while I fished in my purse for our card. When I handed it to him, he was staring at me smiling.

"You look really nice," he said, "I was worried about you yesterday." Then he leaned in for a tender kiss.

Can you hear the soundtrack?! It makes me sigh just thinking about it.

I wonder. How many of these moments have I missed because I'm wishing for something different? How many times have my imaginations clouded the vision of today?

Lord, open my eyes to the beauty all around me, the magic You have placed in my life. Help me hear the score of Your music in my every day, resisting the temptation to plan my movie moments. Help me recognize the surprise and wonder in my ordinary.

. . .I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10:10

Bringing God Glory

She thought she could do it by being the best.
But no matter how hard she tried, there was always someone better.

So she devoted herself to doing it right.
But she was human and messed it up.

She decided to learn everything she could.
But searching always brings more questions.

Maybe it was best to concentrate on pleasing Him.
But how do you know when you've pleased God?

She prayed and served and sought. She loved and listened and waited.
None of it seemed enough. He had done so much more. He deserved so much more. How could her measly efforts ever bring Him glory?

Finally He spoke,

I don't need you to be the best.
I don't need you to be perfect.
I don't need you to be right.

I need you to be you.

I don't want what you can do.

I want you.