Does Loving Require the Loved to Know?

Be careful not to do your "acts of righteousness" before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

Matthew 6:1

They were having a rough day, so when they left to pick up a friend, I thought I'd make some chocolate chip cookies for their return, something to distract from the problem and attempt to brighten an otherwise rotten day. It seemed the perfect way to love some hurting teenagers.

But they didn't come back right away and when they did they didn't really want cookies. They went to Dairy Queen instead.

At first I thought my efforts wasted, an hour out of my day for nothing. But if I baked cookies out of love, wasn't the love still given even though they didn't want the cookies? Does it matter they didn't recognize my effort?

It's no different than when I pray for people. Rarely do I make others aware of my prayers. I love them by praying for them. Period.

Adopting this outlook on loving makes every effort worth it. No act is a waste. So if I take a casserole to a family who hates it and throws it out, there's no loss. I loved them. If the compliment I give isn't understood as such, there's no tragedy. I expressed my appreciation and in doing so showed care. My love is not nullified if I stop by to check on someone and they're not home. If I do something kind and it isn't noticed, it doesn't negate my love in doing it. My affection isn't voided if I stay up late and get up early doing laundry for my family and they don't acknowledge it.

Love is love, no matter the outcome or response.

If my loving receives no attention, no appreciation, no recognition, it feels more pure. I can't be doing it for my own glory if what I've done isn't even known. It makes me happy to think no effort is wasted. No loving thought, gesture or prayer is dependent upon the loved person knowing.

So love freely friends, without worry about how it will be received. It's not the receiving that counts. It's the giving that loves.



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