7 Quick Takes (Volume 105)

1) Ladies Man is always hoarse. When I ask him if he feels okay I get this answer.

Ladies Man: It's just from the weekend.

Me: The weekend?

Ladies Man: I do a lot of screaming.

I can understand screaming at football games or hanging out with friends, but is there any reason to be screaming on Sundays?

Ladies Man: Hello? Youth group.

Is it just me or is something not right with that picture? Kevin tried to convince him if he screamed right, he wouldn't lose his voice.

Kevin: You've got to breathe from your diaphragm and push from your gut not your throat.

Only a musician would instruct their son in proper screaming techniques.

2) At 3:15 on Saturday morning, 3:15!, Kevin, Drama Queen and I all received a text from Drummer Boy.

Drummer Boy: On my way to Oklahoma State with a $80 stipend. BOOM!

It was his first overnight trip with the Husker band and he had a great time (even while sleeping on the floor in the aisle of the bus). The last time he traveled with them was to the Big 12 championship last December where they left, WENT TO TEXAS and came back home all in the same very long twenty-four hour period.

Oh to be young and excited about no bed, no sleep and loads of junk food.

3) Lately Ladies Man has taken to adding some cultural charm to his requests as if speaking in another language will gain him special blessing. He adds "por favor" to nearly everything he says.

Hey, get me the milk, por favor.
Is it okay if I stay up late, por favor?
I want to have a friend over, por favor.
Can I get a new car, por favor?
I think it's time I get a cell phone, Mom. Por favor?

I hate to break it to him, but even if Antonio Banderas added por favor to everything he said, I wouldn't fall for that mumbo jumbo. My boy may be able to make all the girls in Sunday school giggle at everything he says, but I've got his number.

Be as charming as you want, Ladies Man. Go ahead and lay a little foreign flair on me, but I'll be the Mom who sees right through you. Muchas gracias.

4) You know how they say you shouldn't buy groceries when you're hungry? I discovered it applies to bras too.

My girls and I had too much fun bra shopping last Friday (You'll be happy to know Ladies Man stayed on an entirely different floor and managed to live through the day without trauma.). Boy, oh boy did we have a good time trying on all sorts of goofy numbers! Drama Queen and I tried a model called a "Poof Bra" which promised to increase you two cup sizes instantly. Whoa baby. No kidding. I'm not sure if we suffered from some sort of bra euphoria or hunger pangs, but somehow we brought one home. A few days later I tried it on with a sweater and I'm telling you the look I achieved made it irresponsible to step out of my bathroom! When I showed Drama Queen, even she said, "What were we thinking?!"

So there's your public service announcement for the week: Never shop for bras when you're hungry.

5) Miss Innocent One showed me another disadvantage to being the youngest. Whenever I'm leaving somewhere with the kids, Drama Queen and Ladies Man perpetuate the same routine.

Ladies Man: I call shot gun.

Drama Queen: Nope. I got it. I'm the oldest.

Ladies Man: We'll see who gets there first.

And the race begins to see who can get to the front seat first. Miss Innocent One calmly walks by my side.

Miss Innocent One: I don't even try to get shotgun. I'll never get it anyway.

Don't you feel sorry for her?

6) Do you have any tell tale bodily noises that give you away? Apparently my younger son does.

Miss Innocent One: I can always tell when Ladies Man is the one walking to the bathroom at night.

Me: How?

Miss Innocent One: His toes pop when he walks.

Dude. I'm not sure toe popping fits into the cool category. I bet he gets more points for his hair.

7) I went to our nephew's military send-off yesterday. I knew it would be sad, but didn't anticipate how it would get to me. I remember the days little Ben would sit on the floor as a baby with his wild hair and dimpled cheeks, pointing at everything and calling it "ba." And now he's a man, serving me and you and his country, sacrificing time with his own loved ones to do it.

We're so proud of you Ben. We love you. We'll pray for you. Stay safe.

Say a pray for our troops this good Friday friends and visit more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.