Taking Advantage of My Tribe

It's my favorite sight at any funeral, the family walking in together moments before the service starts. You know this group of people have had plenty of arguments, disagreements and hurt feelings, yet in crisis they come, united in purpose, as one body.

There's something beautiful and soothing about being part of a family. It doesn't mean everything's all butterflies and roses (there are times you don't get each other at all and would love to slap one another), but you have a people, a tribe, a group that has your back. You may not even like each other very much, but they give a you a place in this world.

I haven't always felt this appreciation for my tribe. As a teen and young adult I felt like the black sheep of my family being the "religious" one. No one gave me any grief about it (unless you count my sister and cousin who consistently teased me about being "square"--I'll be milking that guilt trip as long as we live girls!), but I thought no one got me. Worse yet, I assumed they wouldn't understand and found me stupid.

But in making these assumptions I isolated myself from them. I didn't give them a chance to know me. I didn't tell them my thoughts, my struggles, my dreams, assuming they would think I was silly. It wasn't fair to them or me. In not sharing my real self, there was no way for them to know what I needed from them. And in keeping my personal feelings to myself, they weren't aware of my affection for them either.

Our tribes, our families aren't perfect and often bring the most grief, but I'm convinced we don't give ourselves a fighting chance. We make assumptions about what the others are thinking without asking or risking our own true feelings. We peg each other as being a certain way and allow no room for growth. In doing so we build walls isolating us from the tribe which is meant to bring us protection and validation.

I see the same phenomenon in the family of God. When you become a Christian, you have a new tribe, yet I see many people in the body of Christ without that sense of belonging. We hide our true selves wanting to appear together and fit for the body. We make assumptions based on how our family members look or their position.

We don't get to know each other because we're so worried about proving ourselves worthy.

But what would happen if we gave up something personal? What if we let someone know what we really thought? It's risky, I know. You open yourself up for judgment and criticism, but if we never let anyone in, how can they know what we need? How can they be there for us if they aren't aware of our struggles? How can they rejoice with us if they don't know where we've come from and how we've been delivered?

If I'm not honest, if I hide myself away, I don't take advantage of the tribe God has given me, both my earthly family and heavenly one. I know it's tough and I know doing so will cause us grief sometimes, but to me the risk is worth it for the payoff of deeper relationships and that feeling of belonging. I want to feel cared for in the family of God, but I can't without giving up something of myself.

Will you take advantage of your tribe? Will you open yourself to your family?



Photo Credit: Native American Seals/Logos