Monday, February 14, 2011
A Valentine Conversation
While driving home from school, Ladies Man tells me of a new discovery.
Ladies Man: I've learned something about women.
Me: Oh yeah?
Ladies Man: They want you to know what they want.
Okay . . .
Ladies Man: Everybody keeps asking me what I'm getting my girlfriend (of less than two weeks, I might add) for Valentine's Day and I don't know what to get her. My friend (a MALE friend) told me, "Why don't you just ask her what she wants?" But I thought if I had to ask, she might not find me as attractive.
Me: I don't know about making you attractive, but women do like to be surprised.
In his Valentine angst, he was about to run a stop sign.
Me: Uh, stop sign.
Ladies Man: Oh yeah, sorry. Well then this other friend (a GIRL) pulled me aside and asked me what I was getting my girlfriend for Valentine's Day and I told her I wasn't sure. She said flowers are always a hit.
Me: True. You can never go wrong with flowers.
Ladies Man: Well, then I asked her if it was true that if you have to ask the girl what she wants, she won't be as attracted to you and she said, "Yeah, pretty much."
Me (another time at another corner): Uh, stop sign!
Ladies Man: Ugh. There's so much pressure! Anyway, it's a good thing I listened to her instead of my other friend. She suggested maybe plastic flowers.
Me: Eh, I don't know. I always think it means more when the guy's willing to spend the money on real flowers knowing they will die. It's like he thinks you're worth the frivolous expense.
Ladies Man: Yeah.
Me: Do you know what her favorite candy is?
Ladies Man: I want to get her more than that!
Me: Why don't you do what you did for Christmas when you shopped for your sister.
Ladies Man: Ew, Mom, she is NOT my sister.
Me: I know, but use the same principle. You paired something she would like and something that screamed of your personality (earrings tucked into a Cookie Monster pouch).
Ladies Man: I don't know.
Me (at yet another intersection): Uh, stop sign.
Ladies Man: I can't drive when I'm stressed!
Me: What's there to be stressed about?
Ladies Man: Everybody's asking what I'm getting her. I just hope I get Dad's good jewelry picking gene.
Me: I do too. You would do well to imitate your dad. Here's what he does. He listens really well and then stores the things I like somewhere in his brain. Then when an occasion comes up . . .
Ladies Man: He pulls out the Tami file.
Me: Mmm hmmm.
Ladies Man: I'll probably get her flowers and something else. Drama Queen said she'd take me out to get something.
Me: Good plan.
We arrive home in one piece, miraculously without running any stop signs.
Ladies Man: Wow, I really can't drive when I'm stressed.
I laugh to myself, knowing that at fifteen years old his days of agonizing over gift selections is only beginning. In case you're wondering, his Valentine is getting three red roses and a HUGE bag of her favorite candy. Not bad for a novice.
You're just starting, Ladies Man, but you're on the right track. Here's your mother's best tip: WATCH YOUR FATHER!
Happy Valentine's Day, friends!