I got the vibe I didn't measure up and when we talked about it, I wasn't convinced otherwise. She was kind, intended no malice, and gave me honesty which I asked for, yet her words stung.
We're human. We do this to each other. No doubt you've experienced it yourself. I've brought others pain too. We don't understand and assume too much or expect too much and cause each other grief.
But if love keeps no record of wrongs, why does the hurt linger? Why can't we overlook it? Why don't we let it go? Why do we harbor ill feelings instead of lovingly moving on? What stops us from believing the best?
Do we lack self-control when we let our minds dwell on the negative? Aren't we empowered by the Holy Spirit to forgive? Do we need to force ourselves to forget too?
I suspect we put what we want ahead of what God wants. Is this why we carry the hurt? We want to be right, justified. Do we think we keep control by hanging on to the pain?
Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.
My sinful nature desires to point fingers, to debate, to blame, to win. But what does God want? What does the Spirit desire? Would He approve of me holding on to wounds from relationships? Does He want me weighed down by them? Don't I damage myself by doing so? Aren't I missing the victorious life the Bible promises?
Shouldn't I give others the clean slate Jesus provides for me?
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:4
If I love well, I keep no record of wrongs. It won't feel natural, because it isn't, so it will take some practice. I need lots of practice. But it's right. And good. And worth working at.
It's time to throw away the record, friends. Only then can we believe the best about others and maintain the kind of relationships Jesus desires for us.