Monday, November 07, 2011

The Dreaded Mother-In-Law?

A few months before our big day, my husband's mother told me, "He's MINE until the wedding."

I wondered what I was in for.

But I shouldn't have worried. I suspect the stress of her youngest and only son getting married got to her that summer. As soon as we were husband and wife, she knew to give us space. She remembered what she wished from her own mother-in-law and responded in kind. We've had no power struggles, no bickering behind each other's backs. We even like each other. Imagine! It's not that we agree on every issue or never drive each other a little crazy, but we love and respect the other enough to give some slack, to overlook small annoyances.

Harmony and peace. Trust and respect.

With my mother-in-law.

Yes, it's possible.

When I try to put my finger on what makes our relationship work, I come up with a few reasons. She's respected my position in her son's life and I respect hers. We value the sanctity of marriage and understand the importance of "being one." We vocalize our love and appreciation of each other. But most significant, both of us love God and put him first in our lives. With commitment to Him and faith in common, why wouldn't we get along?

But we do more than get along. Occasionally she'll call when something's on her mind and she needs a sympathetic ear. I've cried in her kitchen a time or two. We know the other is there if needed. What a blessing to find a friend in your mother-in-law!

And I suppose my husband should get some of the credit, for making us both feel valued, preventing us from being threatened by the other. I've never felt less important to him because of her and I hope she can say the same. Thank you, honey, for helping your mother and I form a good bond by being attentive and thoughtful to BOTH of us. You made it easier.

I'm happy to say I don't screw up my face when someone mentions my mother-in-law. She's been good to me and to my family. Our lives are better because of her. When I was praying for a husband, I never thought to pray about the new family I'd inherit. But praise God He thought for me, giving over and above what I asked. He gave me a wonderful husband, and threw in a terrific mother-in-law for flair. Thank You, Lord!

How has your mother-in-law been a blessing in your life?

Read more in-law stories at Chrysalis.


Lisa Maria said...

Lovely post Tami. I'm very glad that you have a good relationship with your mother-in-law. It took a long time but I have found myself in my mother-in-law's confidence a lot more lately. She has been a blessing in times of financial difficulties. We never asked but she knew and she generously gave us. She has also supported me (after at first being quite disapproving of it) in my role as homemaker.

I wish I'd thought to put all these into my blog post but I was focusing on the issue of how to handle the difficulties rather than stress the positives.

Thanks for reminding me to look at how she's been a blessing too!

God bless!

Cheri Gregory said...

Beautiful post! (I'd say I envy you, but I'm old enough to realize envy is a waste of time!)

I hadn't thought of praying for my future in-laws, either. I'm going to start praying for my children's future in-laws and their relationships!

My mother-in-law has blessed my life by being such a wonderful grandmother to our children. The love and attention she's lavished on them over the years has helped them become the amazing young woman and young man they are today!

~Heather said...

What a wonderful post! I love my mother-in-law. We have a very close relationship, God truly blessed me by bringing her into my life. I love hearing about other women who have wonderful relationships with their in-laws.

Messy Marriage said...

I'm like you, I have a great relationship with my MIL. So glad to know that there are others like me out there! Your post was a beautiful tribute to your somewhat rare relationship with your MIL. Thanks for sharing!

Denise said...

Such a nice post.

e-Mom said...

Nice, Tami! Very nice. You seem to have the ideal family life... but I know you both work hard at it every day. I'm thrilled you've found a friend in your MIL.

Thanks for linking up as always for Marriage Monday.

Hugs, e-Mom

e-Mom said...

Nice, Tami! Very nice. You seem to have the ideal family life... but I know you both work hard at it every day. I'm thrilled you've found a friend in your MIL.

Thanks for linking up, as always, for Marriage Monday.

Hugs, e-Mom ღ

Mac an Rothaich said...

You had very true tips on how it worked out between you and your mil and I especially like the thanks and credit you gave to your hubby. The biological child has a lot of power over how the relationship goes. May it be the power of love.

Faith said...

loved reading this!! and MIL is a huge blessing although she doesn't know the Lord in a personal way.....but..she loves, respects, and is very generous with me, her son (my hubby) and our 2 daughters....a very giving person. we are praying that she and my dad in law will accept Christ before they get much older....

tonya said...

What a blessing to have such a wonderful relationship. Lovely post. Thanks for stopping by my blog. :)

nice A said...

Such a testimony of a very good MIL-DIL relationship!
I congratulate your husband for getting rid of the threat between you and your MIL! But I also believe that there are great MILs in the world although they could be rare, like yours.
Thank you for stopping by my post, Tami.

Dawn said...

Amen! Glad you, like me, have a good relationship with your makes things SO MUCH NICER! Happy MM (late).

Alicia The Snowflake said...

What a blessing! She sounds like a really neat lady. My mother-in-law is great too. And she loves spending time with our son. I appreciate her commitment to our family.

I am returning the visit from Monday. Please forgive me for taking so long! But I hope you have a great weekend!