Friday, January 13, 2012

7 Quick Takes (Volume 166)

1) We were discussing which would be better, having a high paying job that took you away from home a lot, or having a modest income that kept you home all the time.

Ladies Man: Yeah, Dad, you should get a huge salary. That'd be awesome.

Me: No way. He'd never be here. That wouldn't be worth it.

Drama Queen: Mom would die if Dad were gone all the time.

Yes. My children know me.

2) Last weekend Kevin and I shopped our local Salvation Army and found a funky little chair he plans to put in a studio he's creating in our house (I think he envies my office sanctuary, wanting one of his own. He says it'll keep him home more to work, so I'm all for it.). Anyway, we thought the chair a steal at $20, but when Kevin went to pay for it the lady gave his total as $17.12.

Kevin: Is it on sale?

Clerk (whispering): There's a 20% discount for anyone who's NOT a senior citizen today.

Kevin thought himself lucky, but the more I thought about it, the more I wondered about his "discount."

Me: Who ever heard of a discount for people who AREN'T senior citizens? Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd?

Kevin: I don't know. She did say it real quiet so no one else could hear.

Me: She made it up! She just gave some lame excuse to give you a discount!

What say you? Does a discount for those who AREN'T senior citizens sound legit or was she looking for a reason to give him a deal?

3) We went to a belated Christmas get together the other night, and a woman there kept going on and on about how cute Ladies Man is. When we told him about it later, he responded simply.

Ladies Man: The Boesiger curse.

You may remember me talking about this strange phenomena among the male members of our household (see #4). For some unknown reason, they all attract older women.

Perhaps this explains a 20% discount for those who are NOT senior citizens?

4) Hallelujah, Glory Be and Praise the Lord! After much personal angst and frustration, Miss Innocent One and I finally finished her sewing project (see #4). I believe the defining moment came in the next to the last step as we sewed the lining of the bag to the outer shell of the bag. We could barely contain our excitement as we turned it right side out, but to our horror, the straps were missing. We sewed them in between the lining and the bag! After some growling and heavy breathing, we figured out how to remedy the situation and got the bag finished. Needless to say, I think it will be a while before either one of us is ready to tackle another sewing project.

I can't decide whether she should take this bag to school or not. She kind of wants to show her Family Consumer Science teacher what we tackled, but I know we didn't do a great job.

Me: You can take it only if you don't say anything about the super glue we used.

Yeah. I'm such a professional.

5) Drama Queen and Drummer Boy are back to college. It hit me full force as I set the table for dinner Monday night and realized we only needed four plates. *sniff*

I was checking some things on their college website and noticed that they're signed up for the same course in different sections. They were not even aware of it.

Who says Mama don't know all? And don't you forget it, kids!

6) Congratulations to Miss Innocent One who made the University of Nebraska at Omaha's Middle School Honor choir!

She was one of only two 7th graders from our school that made it (the other being our good friend).

7) And here's one for all you mothers, sick of your children thinking you're much less capable than they are at anything.

Ladies Man is on a new kick to go through the P90X fitness routine. I've heard him wax poetic about how he's going to get "ripped" so many times in so many ways, it's hard for me to take him too seriously and even tougher for me to shell out any money towards it. Luckily our generous friends are letting us borrow their DVDs. Kevin said he'd join him and they've been planning their fitness adventure all week.

Me: When are you going to do this?

Ladies Man: 6:AM!

Me (flabbergasted that Kevin agreed to anything at that hour of day): Really?

Kevin: I guess so.

Me: In that case, maybe I should join you every once in a while, save me a trip to the Y.

Ladies Man (raising a doubtful eyebrow): Mom, this is extreme.

Me: Hello?! I'm the only person in this household who exercises regularly.

Ladies Man: But this is extreme.

Me (getting agitated): I think I know that! I did a session of boot camp. I get it.

Ladies Man: Yeah, well this is like, well, probably like boot camp.

Kevin (trying to defend me): Which she finished.

Ladies Man: Well, you gotta do incline push ups and stuff. I'm gonna do some right now.

He ran into the living room, grabbed a chair and got into position.

Ladies Man: I'll do ten.

After push-up #5, he quit.

Me: Let me try it.

He didn't even watch me until I got past 5.

Me: 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 . . . how many should I do?

Kevin: That's enough. Let me try.

Kevin gave it a shot and got to 8. 8! How's that for GIRL POWER?! Of course, all I got from Ladies Man is that I didn't have my feet in the right position and he was the only one who was using the correct technique. Grrrrr. Is it bad for me to want to show this kid up? I could do it. Or would that be thwarting his masculinity or something? Would it scar his developing manhood?

Whatever. I can think of lots of other things I'd rather do at 6:AM anyway.

And that's all for this fine Friday, friends! I hope you have a stellar weekend and catch more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

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