1) 200 volumes of Quick Takes! And you're still here?! What is the matter with you? Seriously?
2) We had a fantastic time at the Husker football opening game. It was so exciting to see our kids marching together in the band. Don't they look awesome?! (Drummer Boy is the middle guy with the beard. Drama Queen is on the right end.)
OHMYGOSHIT'SGAMEDAY!!! DRUHMMMZZZZ.LEVEL 10.HYYYYPPPEEEE.SNAREDRUM.SO PUMPED.HUSKERS. HolycrudImightactuallypeemypants. GBR!! :D
I figured she was super nervous and I couldn't wait to see her and share the excitement. As we made our way to the stadium, Drummer Boy called us to remind us of the warmup time for the drummers and I asked how she was doing. Apparently I was slightly pumped myself as moments later I heard him say, "I don't know what she's saying," and he handed the phone to his sister.
Drama Queen (think deadpan, obligatory speaking to your mother): Hi Mom.
Me: Oh my goodness, how are you? Are you totally freaking out? I saw your Facebook status. Can you hardly take it? Where are you now? Have you eaten anything? Are you about ready to explode?
Drama Queen: Mother! I can't understand a word you are saying in that high-pitched, fast voice! All I'm hearing is (she proceeded to make squeaky noises). Calm down!
And I could just imagine her pulling the phone away from her ear and the two of them rolling their eyes at their out-of-control mother. I've always hated her calling me a meerkat because I'm "twitchy," but maybe this is where she gets it.
Forgive me, my darling offspring, my mama buttons were popping big time. How can you blame me? I think it's YOUR fault.
4) Ladies Man spent Labor Day cooking with his girlfriend. Later we found the most amazing chocolate cheesecake in our refrigerator.
Me: I want to be mad she left that in there. It's too tempting!
Ladies Man: She's a good cook. A really good cook. It's like a bonus feature.
So, here's a shout out to Ladies Man's girlfriend. Rest assured that he likes you first for your many other wonderful qualities. Your cooking is just a "bonus feature."
5) And speaking of said cheesecake, GRACIOUS!!!!, did that thing cause me angst this week! Every time I entered the kitchen I remembered its chocolately smoothness, its inviting cookie crumb crunch, its complete richness and decadence. Usually I don't have a terrible time saying no to sweets, but this thing did me in. And why is it my family forgets these delicious delicacies exist and leave them alone so that they whisper sweet nothings to me every time I open the refrigerator?
Finally by Thursday, after three days of shaving off bites for myself at every turn, I reminded Kevin the dessert wonder was still there and we finished off the last piece and a half together.
Me: I'm so glad you helped me eat that. Really. It needed to be gone.
Kevin: Anything for you, babe.
Which planted something new in my brain I can't let go. ANYTHING?! Oooh, surely I can capitalize on his moment of weakness. Any ideas, friends?
6) Is there any wonder my children are completely crazy when their father makes statements like this?
Kevin: God must have a sense of humor. Why would He allow people to fart? I mean, what is that about? What is the purpose? Does He chuckle when we do it?
I don't know about God, but I chuckle every time you do it now, my love, thinking of this!
7) Miss Innocent One: I think I grew overnight.
Me: Really? How can you tell?
Miss Innocent One: I don't know. I just feel more stretched out, you know?
Me (wanting to suggest she was finally taking my advice about standing straighter but using self-control to censor myself): Oh?
Miss Innocent One: Plus I feel skinnier today which means I must be taller, right?
Hmmm. I don't know, but if it makes my 14-year-old stress less about her body I'm in. Yes. I DO think you look taller.
And there you have it--daughters growing overnight, sons whose girlfriends come with bonus features, kids with super duper drumming skills and poise, overstimulated mothers and flatulent fathers. Truly, there's never a dull moment at our house.
Have a great weekend, my friends, and read more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.