7 Quick Takes (Volume 204)

1) I have this annoying thing that happens to me whenever I fall asleep. My mouth falls wide open. And where there's an open mouth, there is drool waiting to be free. I hate it. You know in movies where the man adores his wife as she sleeps next to him. That could never happen at my house. I would totally turn my husband off. Instead of thinking, "Oh, look how beautiful she is," my husband would surely think, "Ew. What did I get myself into?" As much as I want my husband to look on me adoringly, I think it would be best for him to do it while I'm fully awake.

Who am I kidding? Do husbands really do that outside of Hallmark movies and Nicholas Sparks books? The day I find my husband staring at me when I wake up is the same day I find his morning breath appealing.

2) You know the vast amount of self-control I used to avoid eating that humungous bag of M & Ms? That thing sat on my kitchen counter for WEEKS without me eating a single morsel. I kept pushing my people to eat them. When I found the bag with only ONE M & M left, I begged someone in my family to finish it off.

Me: I've done so good. I'm so proud of myself. There's just one left. Somebody eat it.

Ladies Man: You eat it, Mom.

Me: NO! I've been so proud of myself for not eating ANY.

And then my stupid (yet very cute and fun) husband went and did it.

Kevin (chanting): Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!

Of course it didn't take long for the kids to join in.

My entire family: Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!

Me: But you guys. I've done so well. It's the principle.

Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!

Me: I wanted to say I didn't eat a single piece!

Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!

And you know what happened, right? They would not be quieted until I popped that luscious yellow M & M into my mouth. And you know what? No lightning bolt plummeted to punish me, no weight magically attached to my hips. The world went on as if nothing happened at all.

It was ONE M & M, Tami! Sheesh! Maybe I am a food nazi.

3) How about a pic of Ladies Man in action at his first band competition? Doesn't he look official? He tells us he nearly fell off the ladder. Apparently one of the drum major ladders is slightly damaged and they usually give it to the other drum major since she weighs probably HALF what he does. But in the excitement of the first competition it got set up for him and when he stepped down he heard an ominous creak. To compensate, he moved to the back of the platform, but when he spun around to give the final salute, he nearly spun right off. He must have covered it well, because I didn't even notice.
Way to cover, Ladies Man. Lookin' good.

4) At the risk of tooting my horn too much, I must tell you we were super excited to see an article in our local paper about Drummer Boy and Drama Queen. I love how the reporter was able to capture that they truly love playing together. Fifteen years ago Drummer Boy found his little sister bossy and annoying and Drama Queen felt she should run any show. You've come a LONG way, guys, and this mother couldn't be happier you are now friends. You can find the article by clicking here:

Beatrice siblings make UNL drum line

5) Miss Innocent One has a knack for finding joy in the little things. On the way home from getting her new retainer, she thought ahead to what was left in the day.

Miss Innocent One: Sigh. I suppose I'm gonna have to start my homewor . . .

Suddenly a glorious thought filled her mind.

Miss Innocent One: Wait! We don't have school tomorrow. I can do it tomorrow!

Judging by her excitement level, you would have thought this was as good as Christmas.

Miss Innocent One: What a wonderful thought. I'm glad a had it! The only thing that would make it better is if I could wake up without a lisp from this retainer.

Simple pleasures. This girl can find them, I tell you.

6) Last Friday I talked Kevin into exercising with a friend and I. He hates exercise. HATES it. He struggles with finding a good time to do it regularly and can't find anything he enjoys enough to do long term. But I talked him into doing a P90X Plyometrics DVD which he's done many times. As I anticipated, he did NOT enjoy it, but made it through fine. After taking a shower he popped his head into my office.

Kevin: A person really does feel better after you exercise.

Me: Yeah.

Kevin: Crap. That means I need to do it.

Yes, you do, my love. We don't want you turning into a fuddy duddy.

7) We attended parent-teacher conferences this week and discovered that both Ladies Man and Miss Innocent One need to learn how to shut their traps a little better. These are the euphemisms that clued us in.

"They are very social."

"Participates well in class."

"I suspect their work is finished slowly because they're getting into some . . . discussion."

And my favorite: "Occasionally needs redirection." (One teacher saw this on another teacher's notes and added, "I would agree.")

All were to quick to say they got back on track easily when called on their motor mouths and remained respectful, so that is good news. This is a tough one for parents, though. You can't be there to give the don't-you-dare stare every time they get chatty. You can talk about it at home, but ultimately it is out of your control. I guess you pray for laryngitis?

Okay, when you start wishing physical maladies on your children, it's probably time to be done, huh? I hope you enjoy your weekend and read more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.