Friday, July 04, 2014

7 Quick Takes (Volume 283)

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

We're excited to take our clan on a little road trip to my sister's in Northeast Nebraska to celebrate. The whole bunch is going along and we're set to have a grand time. My brothers and their families and even some of my cousins are making the trip too so it'll double as a family reunion of sorts. My sister's family LOVES the Fourth of July and does it up good so we're bound to have a blast.

This, of course, insinuates that there will be little sleeping and I'll probably be super grouchy mom by Monday, but let's not think about that. Let's savor the moments of togetherness this weekend and whoop it up.

Kevin and I got all peopled out over the weekend. We went to two big weddings, one on Friday night (with Drummer Boy--woot!), one on Saturday afternoon, attended a big church service Saturday night, had a big celebration at our own church Sunday and a band concert Sunday night. My introvert status was confirmed when I couldn't do anything but hang around the house all day Monday in a fog. I'm serious. I don't think I even took a shower until 10:30 PM. And I've officially converted my husband to an introvert as well. At some point in the weekend he looked at me and said, "It's a little much" and he was toast on Monday too. Despite people overload we did have a good time, though, as this picture proves.

Ladies Man is constructing a little surprise for his cousin's birthday and needed some heavy duty cardboard. He went down to Sears and picked up the thickest cardboard I've ever seen. Carrying two huge sheets, he could hardly get in (Thanks to our neighbor friend who stopped while walking her dog to open doors for him.). He's eyes were all lit up when he came in, reminding me of him at 5-years-old.

Ladies Man: Look at this stuff! I barely got it in my car.

His hand stroked the surface of the huge sheet.

Ladies Man: I really only needed one sheet, but I took two. I forgot how awesome cardboard is!

I'll send pictures of his creation AFTER his cousin sees it. He should get the first view, right?

Drama Queen and my mother had a major bonding moment this week when they GOT TATTOOS! Yes, my MOTHER got a tattoo with my daughter!

My mom has always acted younger than her age and I've always loved that about her. She is no fuddy duddy Grandma! Mom went first and was way cooler about it than Drama Queen who was a tad anxious about the procedure until it got started.

And here are the finished products. Mom got a rose and Drama Queen got a picture version of Proverbs 16:3.

My husband is giving me some really BAD answers this week.

I was playing my sax in church on Sunday and on the way there I felt it necessary to inform him of the cost of such service.

Me: These are really hard lipstick days. It's hard to know what to wear. 

I chose a lip balm with a little color in it.

Me: This one doesn't leave as much residue on my reed. But it doesn't have as much color either. See what I sacrifice for you?

My husband did NOT feel my pain.

Kevin: It's not for me, honey.

In other words, it's for God.

Me: Ouch!

Kevin: Well . . . Just telling the truth.

Me: Wow. I think a better answer would have been, "Oh I know, honey. What would I do without you?"

Kevin: Oh I know, honey. What would I do without you?

Too late, buddy.

Later that evening we were driving through town when he got a little too close to the car in front of us for my taste. I had just taken a drink and couldn't say anything so I pointed and grunted.

Kevin (obviously thinking I am overreacting): I see him.

Me (after swallowing): Now how was I supposed to know that? You were reaching for your sunglasses and didn't even have one hand on the steering wheel. I didn't think you saw.

Kevin (politely not rolling his eyes but wishing he could): I had it.

Me (feeling more than slightly annoyed): I'm sorry you have such a high maintenance, stressed woman for a wife.

Kevin: You're not a high maintenance, stressed woman . . . most of the time.

Me: You are really not giving good answers today.

Kevin: Just gotta tell the truth, babe.

Grrr. Who wants to volunteer to give my husband sensitivity training? It's a good thing I can't live without the guy.

And now how about some "sick nasty" as my girls would say? Ladies Man was sitting on the kitchen counter talking to me the other day, his feet dangling and swinging, when I noticed his enormously long toes.

His second toe is as big as my pointer finger! You realize this is "sick nasty" because not only does Ladies Man have ugly banged up feet, but they smell as bad as they look, and I stuck my finger in there! It took me all of two seconds to wash my hands after that pic!

I know you're all dying to hear how Elmo is. The critter perked up considerably after I peeled ALL his shed skin off of him. You wouldn't believe how much bigger he could open his eyes after I pulled it off there. I think he did have a touch of something though. A lizard can get a virus, right? Drama Queen  had a couple of sick days last week with a terrible headache and dizziness. I wasn't feeling too great on Saturday either. Elmo acted like his head was bothering him too. Could he have caught something from us?

Nonetheless I worry the guy is getting super lazy, just letting me do EVERYTHING for him. Now I have to do his shedding for him too? I also think he has a bit of a sight problem. He used to catch his worms himself, but now he just hangs his head over the dish until someone comes and dangles one right in front of him and then he STILL misses them some times.

And now Drama Queen is talking to him, telling him how lazy he is. That can't be good for his self-esteem, can it? How is that going to encourage him to be better, to rise above his disabilities? And what does it say about me that I consume so much time with him? My children won't have to worry about me becoming a crazy cat lady, but what is the equivalent in this case? Loco Lizard Lady? Goony Gecko Gal? Or just Bonkers Broad?

Oh my, let's not give my kids any more fodder. Enjoy your holiday weekend and read more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

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