It was a bad day.
A little thing shook me and I got upset. Not just upset. Angry. Down right mad. At God. I felt like He let me down, like He didn't care, like my efforts didn't matter, like He didn't notice or care and I just had to suck it up and do what He said.
And I didn't want to. I thought I deserved better.
But God is God and when you follow Him you don't have a choice in these matters, so I spent the day trying to move on. Without success. Every time I thought about it, the tears (and anger) came. I prayed about it, very honestly I might add (read: I let Him know exactly how I felt). He knew anyway and there was no point in hiding it. I prayed and cried and whined and pouted.
By the end of the day I knew what He wanted from me. I knew I had to do it. But I wasn't happy about it. He had disappointed me. (For those of you feeling very worried for me right now, it's okay. God is big enough to handle these sorts of emotions. Have you ever read the Psalms?!)
The next morning I was still a little upset, but resigned myself to the fact that you can't question God. There was nothing I could do about it. I mean, how do you change God's mind? If it's the plan, you gotta follow it. It doesn't matter if you don't like it.
Yeah. I probably didn't have the best attitude about it.
But that didn't stop God from dazzling, from reminding me of His love amid my displeasure. In something as simple as a text message, He reminded me that He cares.
The friend who typed the text was totally unaware of the angst, anger, and disappointment of the day before. She had no idea. Her words made me stare in disbelief.
"I dreamed about you last night. In my dream I was hugging you and you were very, very sad. I thought I better check and make sure you're okay."
How could she know?! She couldn't! I felt as if I got a text from God Himself saying, "I see you, Tami. I know this is hard for you. It's going to be okay. I love you."
And suddenly the words of Psalm 73 came to life. It was the beginning of my surrender, the start to giving in to God's perfect plan with an attitude of trust rather than defeat.
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.
Though I was hurt and angry, He was with me the whole time. He understood. He made sure I knew He did.
He sent me a text.
What causes you to distrust God? Have you talked with Him about it? Are you willing to give it up to follow His perfect plan? When your heart's not in it, will you trust He is with YOU always?
When you're willing to get that personal with Him, you too may get a text from God.
Photo Credit: Johnathan Lyman