My heart pounds when the question is asked. I never know how to answer.
"What do you do?"
I do a lot of stuff. I'm working on a master's degree. I help with two Bible studies. I speak to women's groups and community organizations. I write and direct our church's Christmas musicals. I play in a community orchestra. I sing in worship team. I meet with people. I blog. I write. I parent. I wife.
And yet, when "What do you do?" comes, I don't know what to say. There is no succinct answer. I don't have a title or place of employment. If I start listing my activities, I worry I sound like a self-absorbed housewife (no comments from the peanut gallery, please). I'm tired of the "it must be nice not to have to work" because I think I DO work, just not for money, and my family has sacrificed because of it. I think what I do is important and though I question God sometimes, I know I am right where He wants me.
So why do I waffle with "the question?" What is my problem?! Why can't I tell people what I do? Why do I feel nervous about it? When I do mention it, why do I feel apologetic afterwards? What's so wrong with telling people the facts? What am I afraid of?
I did it recently with some well meaning women, women I grew up with and hadn't seen in 20-30 years. They asked and I choked.
"Hmmm . . . what do I do . . . I don't know . . . My husband works for a church so I hang out at church a lot . . . "
There's no need to chide me. A friend already did and she really got me thinking. What am I revealing about my worldly attitudes in not answering honestly? Do I think others won't value it because it doesn't bring in money? Do I think it has no value because it doesn't produce a pay check?! But here's the kicker: Much of my work is centered around God. Am I denying Him when I can't talk of it freely? Am I slapping Him in the face with my cavalier approach?
In not proudly stating what I do, am I dismissing God's work in my life?
When I minimize His work, I minimize Him.
I guess I need to rethink how I answer, "What do you do?"
How do you handle, "What do you do?"