I spent the rehearsal struggling to focus on the words of the songs and trying to let the music drown out the whirring in my mind. I had a hard time forgetting the events of the upcoming week and responsibilities I'd rather ignore. I wondered what was going on in the head of the dear woman sitting next to me. Did she ever feel it took effort to stop thinking? Is it as hard for her to push aside herself as it is for me? How does she maintain her quiet, steady demeanor? I often feel exposed, but I can never quite figure what's going on with her. How does she do it, being guarded, but warm, strong, yet gentle?
Prayer time came, a welcome relief from my inner angst, and we bowed our heads as usual. We've done this lots of times, she and I, together in a group and, I suspect, privately for each other more than the other would guess. But this time, as soon as I shut my eyes, a hand grasped mine. Fingers entwined with my own and a thumb gently caressed the side of my index finger. It was to me an intimate gesture we had never before experienced, uncharted, yet welcome territory. Had she sensed my spirit was low?
When she prayed, she prayed long and hard for my son, for our upcoming college visits, for the decisions to be made. All the while she clutched my hand in a reassuring, calming way.
And I was touched, deeply. How could she know what had been going on in my heart and head? Did she sense the anxiety I have about my son growing up and leaving? Was she aware her gentle, physical touch showed me such love?
She reminds me every little thing matters. A simple prayer, a tender hold on my hand, soothed my soul, told me God was present. Everything is going to be all right.
Thank you, my precious friend. Your quiet, consistent love moves me. You teach me that loving does not require words.
8 comments:
Like you, I sometimes wonder if other people are thinking the same anxious thoughts I am. How precious to have a friend like that. Thanks for being transparent.
You are that calm, strong person for me. I always feel like I'm the anxious, worrying girl and you're my rock with simple yet wise words and/or advice. I thank God every day that you are my sister and friend.
You just made me homesick for my prayer group. My husband and I served at a church for ten years before we were called to the other side of Canada.
Spending 10 years with a group of believers just does something to a girl. The understand, inside jokes, initmacy that you share is not really explainable , until you find yourself in a place void of those things.
I had a friend, just like yours in your prayer group. She got me, knew my non-facial expressions and could read my heart when I thought I was doing such a good job of keeping it hidden. I miss her so much. God always gave her the right words to pray for me.
It's a void that God has been choosing to fill in my life. I wrote about it in my post entitled Season Of My Life. He is changing me but I do miss those tender moments.
Soak in this season of prayer for your precious friends - what a blessing our sisters are - thanks for sharing. And thanks for visiting!! Have a GREAT BIG Friday!!
Shelley
How precious is it that our church is so special I can picture many different faces that would do that Tami. It sounds like an unforgettable moment.
Amen, Brenda!
I hadn't checked in for a while, but like always, Tami, your thoughts and words gave me goose bumps! I am amazed at how they seem to coincide with my life so much. It's like you are in my head too! Sometimes I find myself viewing others as the strong ones that I forget they have their moments of weakness too when they need to rely on gentle words or an outstretched hand. I am glad you had that offered to you when you needed it - proof again that God is always at work in our lives and will provide!!! Thank you
Tami,
I thought of your blog several times in Sunday School. I wanted to raise my hand and say "Well Tami says..." They must be things God wants me to hear!
Sometimes just being there, holding a hand or stroking an arm is all that's necessary. Why do we forget this? We fill up our day with words, but often they distract. Thanks for this tender post, and for the permission to stay silent. :~)
Post a Comment