No Coincidence

We tried to wait to tell them until the next day, but circumstances and respect for our children required us to spill the news sooner.

"I don't know how to tell you this guys," my weary voice cracked, "but Grandpa died tonight."

We consoled each other for a while and finally the question I hoped wouldn't be thought of until later came out.

"You mean," my younger son said, "he died on my birthday?"

I had prayed all week God would help my dad hang on until after this day, yet it wasn't His plan. I was pretty broken up about it. I didn't want my son's birthday forever carrying the shadow of his grandfather's death. But it was out of my control.

Before breaking the news to our kids, I talked with a very wise woman, one who has been my dear friend since sitting on the bench in freshman volleyball, one who I may not talk with for months, but always pick up easily with, my forever friend. She tells me she is usually not so lucid at the time I called her that night, yet God used her despite her sleepiness. She told me, "Really, if you think about it, it's kind of neat . Your dad's birthday in heaven is the same as your son's on earth." Hmmm. Weird, I thought, especially since this son bears my father's name.

So when the question came, "You mean he died on my birthday?" I had a ready answer. And when I gave it, a light went on in his eyes.

"Hey, that's cool," he said, "I'm going to tell my friends at school that one." And he did. He forever has a special connection with Grandpa, one that goes beyond sharing a name. He has never forgotten it and neither will anyone he tells about it.

Now, two years later, I am still a bit sad about it, that anticipating my son's birthday brings up tough memories of a very difficult week. Oh, I'm thankful for the need to suck it up and celebrate instead of dwelling on the past and its pain, but I wonder what God was thinking. Of all days, why THIS day?

I know this is one of those things I won't get an answer to, at least not one other than Because I said so. And He can say that. He IS God. This is yet another time I am forced to accept God's plan without understanding it. I'm not crazy about that, but there's nothing I can do. If I love God, and I do, I have to accept it with thanks. So today, on my son's birthday and the anniversary of my father's death, I thank God for turning what could seem like a curse into a blessing for my son. And I am thankful His plan is not dependent on my understanding.