Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Why We Look For Escape


My college roommate wrote a book of poetry one year as a Christmas present to her friends. Her poem about me was very short, but I have never forgotten it.

"Lying on the Floor Watching You Study"

Looking at you
sitting quietly
in the pink light of dusk,

My eyes raise
a glass
and drink deeply.

Something about that poem touches me deeply. I think it's the idea that someone took the time to look and liked what they saw enough to linger. And yet, I'm almost embarrassed to admit that. It seems egocentric to wish people would be captured by me in that way, but it makes even studying seem more meaningful and romantic. Can't you just hear the movie music playing in the background?

"Why do our days seem so unimportant, filled not with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought--that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain--uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or will ever be.......And in all the exhortations we have missed the most important thing of all. We have missed the heart of a woman."

Quote taken from: Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge


The tasks I perform each day, the responsibilities and duties I attend to are not who I am. No wonder I want to escape so often. No wonder women everywhere are drawn to chick flicks and romance novels which feed their heart. Is this why sex is appealing? Is it escape from the ordinary, confirmation that there is more to me than laundry and maid service?

When I first read the book this quote comes from, Captivating, I felt a huge relief. Maybe I'm not completely superficial and shallow. The Eldredges say men and women are each made in the image of God, but each gender reflects a different part Him. Men mirror God's strength and His desire to protect and take care of His own. Women reflect God's beauty and His longing to be pursued.

It explains a lot, doesn't it?
Is this where my desire for my husband to gaze at me adoringly from across the room came from? Is it because I want to be pursued? Am I really wanting to be truly seen and known? Is this why women yearn to be irresistible? They want their men to take the time to unlock the mystery?

In my head I tell myself it is silly to want that and unrealistic and unfair to expect it from my husband.

But I still crave it. Why?

Maybe it's because my heart says, "Please come find me."


For more takes on this quote, visit As Gold Refined.

9 comments:

Brenda said...

I think it is sweet to still want your husband to find you. I'm sure he is glad too.

Rachelle said...

Great post!!! All so very true, and written so eloquently. Love you!

Amy B said...

This is a great post and so sweet!!

Terri Sue said...

I think it's great that your friend caught your spirit!

Be blessed!
Terri Sue

Christin said...

Thank you for thoughts Tami. I admit, when I first read this entire book I thought it was screaming with femininism in the worst way, but the truth is, it's not. I don't think it's bad at all to want to be who God created us to be - and though we're all women, it will be a bit different for each of us. God bless you and thank you. :)

Susan said...

Hey Tami,

Wow, this was great...

Yes, the book was great!

Blessings...

Michelle Bentham said...

"It explains a lot, doesn't it? Is this where my desire for my husband to gaze at me adoringly from across the room came from? Is it because I want to be pursued? Am I really wanting to be truly seen and known? Is this why women yearn to be irresistible? They want their men to take the time to unlock the mystery?

In my head I tell myself it is silly to want that and unrealistic and unfair to expect it from my husband."

Lots of questions here that beg answers... the answers are all in the One who gave us these desires. I too live in a state of constantly wanting that atmosphere and romance in my marriage, but just when I think it is time to quit hoping my husband surprises me with that dusky look and a sweet word or kiss. It is what helps me to know that my waiting on the Lord to move him is more valuable than any seduction I could manuever on my best night.

The heart of this woman in my own marriage is found in her prayers.

Deep reflections, and deep insights. Good read.

Blessings.

Lynn said...

Hi Tami,

I loved the books by the Eldridges... They DO ressonate in our spirits, don't they?? hmmmmm

Women reflect God's beauty and His longing to be pursued..... Amen.

Great post. Love and hugs, Lynn

Tami Boesiger said...

Michelle,

You make an excellent point: "The heart of this woman in my own marriage is found in her prayers." Amen.