Why We Look For Escape

My college roommate wrote a book of poetry one year as a Christmas present to her friends. Her poem about me was very short, but I have never forgotten it.

"Lying on the Floor Watching You Study"

Looking at you
sitting quietly
in the pink light of dusk,

My eyes raise
a glass
and drink deeply.

Something about that poem touches me deeply. I think it's the idea that someone took the time to look and liked what they saw enough to linger. And yet, I'm almost embarrassed to admit that. It seems egocentric to wish people would be captured by me in that way, but it makes even studying seem more meaningful and romantic. Can't you just hear the movie music playing in the background?

"Why do our days seem so unimportant, filled not with romance and adventure but with duties and demands? We feel unseen, even by those who are closest to us. We feel unsought--that no one has the passion or the courage to pursue us, to get past our messiness to find the woman deep inside. And we feel uncertain--uncertain what it even means to be a woman; uncertain what it truly means to be feminine; uncertain if we are or will ever be.......And in all the exhortations we have missed the most important thing of all. We have missed the heart of a woman."

Quote taken from: Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge

The tasks I perform each day, the responsibilities and duties I attend to are not who I am. No wonder I want to escape so often. No wonder women everywhere are drawn to chick flicks and romance novels which feed their heart. Is this why sex is appealing? Is it escape from the ordinary, confirmation that there is more to me than laundry and maid service?

When I first read the book this quote comes from, Captivating, I felt a huge relief. Maybe I'm not completely superficial and shallow. The Eldredges say men and women are each made in the image of God, but each gender reflects a different part Him. Men mirror God's strength and His desire to protect and take care of His own. Women reflect God's beauty and His longing to be pursued.

It explains a lot, doesn't it? Is this where my desire for my husband to gaze at me adoringly from across the room came from? Is it because I want to be pursued? Am I really wanting to be truly seen and known? Is this why women yearn to be irresistible? They want their men to take the time to unlock the mystery?

In my head I tell myself it is silly to want that and unrealistic and unfair to expect it from my husband.

But I still crave it. Why?

Maybe it's because my heart says, "Please come find me."

For more takes on this quote, visit As Gold Refined.