Being FAT

I've spent too much of my life feeling inadequate, unworthy, not good enough. I've kicked myself around for my lack of discipline, my stupid humanness, my weak will. I've wanted to be more, for myself, my husband, my loved ones, but mostly for my God. I've wanted to be better. Yet, throughout my life, God gently whispers encouraging words to keep me going, to tell me I don't have to live up to my own expectations. He says all He needs is a willing heart.

“God is looking for F.A.T. disciples, disciples that are
faithful,
available,
and teachable.
We can’t teach others what we don’t know ourselves.”

Anonymous

He's not looking for perfect or flawless or talented or beautiful. He's looking for someone willing to learn, to take a crack at it, and stick it out over the long haul. I can do that. No special skills required.

I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but I want to be FAT. I want a front row seat to His work. I want to belly up to the God bar and see what He's got going.

What about you? Does being FAT appeal to you? A FAT girl is one who knows she goes in God's strength, not her own. Does that take the pressure off you like it does me? We don't have to be anything, friends.

Just FAT.


Join Karen at In Love W.I.T.H. Jesus for more impressions of this quote.


Photo Credit: Yukari*

That's Where He Touched Me

The young teen stands in line for hours to get an autograph from Justin Bieber. Finally the moment arrives and not only does she get his signature, but he poses for a picture and gently kisses her cheek. She vows never to wash her face again.

That's where he touched me!

If I think about who I have been and where God has brought me, I find myself feeling the same way. I'll never forget the shy little girl I was, the overweight teenager, the young woman who felt so undesirable she thought finding a husband would take a miracle. I remember the fear harbored, the anxiety which kept me awake, the inadequacies which told me there was nothing special about me. I keep these close for one reason.

That's where He touched me.

Why would I want to forget how He's healed and strengthened, loved and made whole?

"The Christian often tries to forget his weakness: God wants us to remember it, to feel it deeply."

Andrew Murray

God wants us to remember where we've come from, how His love makes new. He wants us to rest, knowing any difficulty is a chance for Him to step in. He reminds us all things work together for the good for those who love Him.

So I won't hide the embarrassing, the ugly, the profane. I won't pretend to have it all together. I'll share my flaws knowing they display the work of the Ultimate Fixer.

That's where He touches me.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” . . . That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

1 Corinthians 12:9-10

Praise God for weaknesses, my friend. Those are the places His love flows to, the cracks His mercy longs to patch, the holes His grace fills.

That's where He touches us.



Join Twinkle Mom at Sunflower Faith to see what others thought about this quote.



Photo Credit: lichterkettenraucher

To Choose Wisely

I know myself.

I know if I don't exercise right away in the morning, I won't get it done. If the clock reaches 9:AM and I haven't hit the streets or the gym, it ain't happening, people.

But I also like to start out my day gradually, sitting quietly with a cup of tea in my office, checking emails, Facebook, reading blogs. And I know I need some quiet time with God in prayer, reading His Word, soaking in what it has to say, taking the time to put thoughts to paper to cement what I'm learning.

To accomplish all this by 9:AM requires me to either get up pretty early, which I often do, give something up, or be extremely disciplined, which I'm not. Every day, every single day is a challenge, a battle. A cloudy morning makes my bed more appealing. I oversleep and feel bloaty so I choose the Y instead of my quiet office and Bible. I check Facebook first and get lost in cyberspace. A online bunny trail steals my time.

"I must make a conscious, deliberate, daily choice to sit at His feet, to listen to His Word, to receive His love, to let Him change me, and to pour out my heart’s devotion to Him. When I get into His presence, the whole world looks different.”

A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

How can I choose wisely? How can I force myself to make that deliberate decision to do what I know to be best? I remember the prize--the perspective shift I gain in His presence, the peace and direction which only come from Him. I mean, c'mon, which would you rather do, run three miles or find calming guidance for your day? No contest.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

1 Corinthians 9:24

To choose wisely, I think of the prize, not the discipline.

Join our host Debbie at Heart Choices for more thoughts on this quote.

Does God Reward Our Time?

“Inevitably, the calendar crowds out the Spirit and the face of the clock hides the face of God. Prayer ceases to be the free breath of a ransomed soul and becomes a duty to be fulfilled."

From “Transforming Prayer” by Daniel Henderson

I hit the ground running yesterday. Really. I got out of bed, put on my workout clothes, clipped my disheveled hair and ran out the door for a little run. Half an hour later I thought I was going to die and noticed by the look of my poofy, frizzy hair that it must have been more humid than I thought.

I don't usually exercise first thing in the morning. Typically I get a hot cup of tea and settle into my office for at least an hour of quiet to myself, but I knew on this Monday my day was going to be packed. It didn't help that I woke later than normal, so in my quest to get the most out of my day, I skipped my quiet time. There. I admit it. My Bible sat unopened on my desk. My prayers were sprinkled between "Oh, Lord, help me"s as I ran.

My only kid at home was gone by 9:AM and I anticipated a day of high productivity with no interruptions. But my house needed attention and the phone beckoned and the dirty clothes pile shadowed the few clean ones and I had no idea what was for lunch. I kept adding to the to do list and making contact with some friends (which was delightful, by the way) and by the end of the day I had little to show for my hours of alone time.

Would my day would have gone smoother, would I have gotten more done if I had squeezed in that quiet time first? People tell me frequently when they take time for God, He somehow blesses them for their efforts and their days go great. I wish I could say the same, but in my experience, that isn't always true.

I know I was having consistent quiet times during my dad's last week of his life. I knew I needed God's presence to help me make decisions about his care and deal with the high emotional toll, but that didn't mean God miraculously cured my dad. His time to die came whether I had my quiet time or not.

Maybe it's not a good idea for me to write on this particular quote, because I'm not sure I agree with it. I don't think God is an if-then kind of God. If I have my quiet time, then I'll have a good day. If I pray fervently, then He will answer yes. If I read enough scripture, then He'll bless me. I'm not saying those things aren't important. If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you understand I believe there is no replacement for the Word of God. We need to be in it! But we shouldn't expect to be rewarded in a tangible way for seeking His face.

I have a consistent quiet time, not because I think it will make my day go better, but because I want the strength, the clarity of His presence. I'm not looking for special favors, only for His face. Busyness can distract me from that, but it doesn't make my prayers any less meaningful to God.

Perhaps I'm missing the whole point of the quote, since I don't have the context from which it came. We need to guard our time with God. Absolutely. We need to make it a priority. AMEN! I would not be the person I am today without His touch on my life, without His instruction in the wee hours of the morning. But I bristle at the suggestion that when life gets away with us for a day or two, we lose our passion for God.

I'm anxious to hear how others have taken this quote. I hope you'll read along with me and visit Debbie at Heart Choices.

How Not To Fall

Adam and Eve lived in Eden, Paradise, the most perfect place on earth. And they were happy about it . . . until someone suggested they may be missing out on something. Suddenly all they saw was what they didn't have. Did the sneaky suggestion blind them to the beauty all around? Did they take it for granted because it was free? Why did they only want what they couldn't have?

I am no different. I get to serve God in tons of ways, yet I asked Him just today for a new opportunity. I have a healthy, strong body, but you better believe I could give you a massive list of my flaws in a heartbeat. My husband is so very good to me, loving and supportive and fun, but I could tell you without thinking what I'd like to change about him. My refrigerator is big and functions well, but I'd love a new one. Instead of appreciating what I have, I pine away for what I don't.

Why do I forget? Why do I dismiss all the good in search of something I know nothing about? Why can't I be happy with what is?

“Non-eucharisteo, ingratitude, was the fall–humanity’s discontent with all that God freely gives. That is what has scraped me raw: ungratefulness.”

Ann Voskamp

Why do I get frustrated and anxious and depressed? I overlook what is good and right in my life. My discontent stems from my lack of gratitude. I'm distracted by the possibility of new and different, of escape and ease. If I dwell there, yearning for what I don't have, I get resentful. I think I deserve better. I become proud. And then I'm in trouble.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 16:18

Right here, right now, my life is very good. If I accomplished nothing more than what I have until now, I have lived well. And God is good. No worry, no sorrow, no inconvenience, no tragedy can erase that truth. God is good. He gives good gifts. To all His children. All the time. In all circumstances. I'll see it if I look for the good, instead of wishing for something different.

Sincere gratitude is the best way not to fall and live life to the fullest.

What does this quote stir in you? Care to share your thoughts? Please join us by linking up here:

Hosting In "Other" Words

I'm the host this Tuesday of the weekly meme, In "Other" Words and have selected the following quote.

“Non-eucharisteo, ingratitude, was the fall–humanity’s discontent with all that God freely gives. That is what has scraped me raw: ungratefulness.”

Ann Voskamp

Tell me your thoughts and link your post back here on Tuesday morning. Happy Writing!

Alongside and With

“Yes, I understand that turning back or waiting for others slows you down, but only at first. The deliberate extension of goodness, generosity, and wisdom always wins out in the end.”

Lisa Bevere
“Lioness Arising: Wake Up and Change Your World”

She stayed with me.

I told her to run ahead, to get the kind of time I knew she could, but she wouldn't.

"I'll finish," I assured her, "I'll have a stinky time, but I'll finish. You don't have to worry about that."

"Oh I know you'll finish," she said.

And still she ran alongside me, without regard for her own finish.

The race was tough and I hated everything about it except having her next to me with her constant stream of truth. When we reached the finish line, my time was good for me and hers was four minutes more than her last race.

I appreciated her kindness then (and still do), but now I wonder if there may be a lesson in it. How can I "run" alongside others? How can I help them reach the finish line? What do I need to give up or let go of for the sake of another? What truth needs to be whispered in someone's ear to enable them to keep going? How can I learn to be that selfless?

After the race she told me, "I decided before we ever came that I was staying with you. This was your first race. I wanted to experience it with you."

And there's the key to coming alongside. We look at it as an opportunity to experience God's grace with someone, not as a favor to them, but as a privilege. Though it may cost us personally to turn back or wait on or run alongside another, the long term benefit is the chance to see God work. How exciting does that sound?!

Go ahead, my friends, leave your comfort zones, your routines, your busy lives and extend yourself today. Expend some personal time and energy for the sake of others. What grace is waiting to be experienced with someone?

I'm excited to find out.

For more thoughts on this quote, visit Nina at Mama's Little Treasures.

Have I Failed as a Parent?

“We will not hide these truths from our children but will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord. We will tell of His power and the mighty miracles He did. So each generation can set its hope anew on God, remembering His glorious miracles and obeying His commands.”

Psalm 78:4,7 NLB

It's easy for me to get down on myself over my parenting. I read verses like this and guilt creeps in. I can't say I've ever sat my kids down Sunday school style and imparted God's Word to them. We've learned verses over the years, but not in regular fashion. Family devotion time has been inconsistent at best. We've tried working with the kids one on one in Bible study, but sadly it hasn't become a habit yet.

So, when I think about proclaiming the "glorious deeds of the Lord" to the next generation, I assume my husband and I fall short. Have we failed as parents? Is God looking down at us, shaking His head in disappointment?

While it's true we could do a better job intentionally building faith into our kids, I am amazed as they get older how much they've caught. They've espoused our values without our formal training. I see them apply Truth in every day situations and I scratch my head wondering how it happened without more deliberate attempts on our part.

Do I forget teaching comes in many forms? Is it possible to proclaim God's Truth informally?

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7

This sounds like day to day living to me and you know what? I have accomplished this. We've talked plenty about God and relationships sitting at home at the dinner table and along the road in a vehicle. Spiritual topics come up when I'm ready to lie down (Why, oh why do kids save questions for bedtime? Why must my favorite conversations come after midnight?!)

In these daily interactions my kids have picked up on the "glorious deeds of the Lord." They hold their own convictions about drinking and marrying believers and reading their Bibles. Their ability to match Scripture to real life without even realizing it, astounds me. They possess wisdom in relationships beyond their years. Did they get this from our preaching to them? I don't think we've been consistent enough to reap rewards from that.

Is it possible that what we've lacked in formal teaching we've made up for by living out our faith authentically?

I wish I was more successful at purposefully teaching my kids about God, but I'm thankful another way they can learn is through His Spirit working in me. I'll keep trying intentional instruction, because it is important, but I won't beat myself up about my failures.

My kids have taught me not to underestimate the power of a good example.

For more ideas about this quote, visit Karen at In Love W.I.T.H. Jesus.

An Acceptable Violence?

When I'm in a hurry, I'm short with my family. I don't take time to look the clerk in the eye. If there's lots to do, I'm more likely to mutter under my breath or think bad of someone. As my list for the day grows, so does my stress level and Lord have mercy on anyone in my wake.

“The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence . . .”

Thomas Merton

Is Merton hitting the nail on a head I've never noticed before? Do I wear myself out in my busyness and thus violate my relationships with my family, my friends, my God by giving them what's left of me?

Violate . . . violence. They are related, no? Do I inflict violence by dismissing my loved ones and my Lord, for the sake of proving myself worthy in my activities?

Ouch.

I don't like the sound of that. Am I guilty? I never thought filling my days was violent, but when the pressure mounts, I know people close to me could claim abuse. Just because society pats us on the back for being productive, doesn't mean it's right.

"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything.

Not even my pursuits, my goals, my activities.

Lord, open my eyes to what is most important. Help me use my time wisely. Give me the ability to stop inflicting punishment in the way I manage my days.

To see what others thought of this quote, visit our host, Emily at imperfect prose.

He Always Deserves It

Because of one slip up in forty years of dealing with the incessantly whiny Israelites, God told Moses he would not enter the Promised Land. It seems a little harsh. If it were me, I would have been pouty about it, yet as they prepare to take over their new land (and Moses faces death), he recites a beautiful tribute of praise to His God which starts with these words.

Pay attention, heavens, and I will speak; listen, earth, to the words of my mouth. Let my teaching fall like rain and my word settle like dew, like gentle rain on new grass and showers on tender plants. For I will proclaim the LORD’s name. Declare the greatness of our God!

Deuteronomy 32:1-3 (HCSB)

Moses knew he would not enter the land he worked forty years to see, yet he understood his lack of opportunity or reward or satisfaction had nothing to do with the power and glory of His Lord. He reminded the Israelites one more time of God's faithfulness to them, of His promises to be with them as long as they strictly obeyed His commands. He accepted God's plan for his life and praised Him for all He had done.

I would be wise to follow suit, whether I like the situation He's placed me in or not, even if I don't understand. He is God. And if He is God, I will pay Him the respect and honor He deserves. There are days my spirit droops, days I don't feel like declaring anything except LEAVE ME ALONE! God may seem distant and uninvolved. I may not like what He's doing or not doing. Or I just may not feel like singing. But if God inhabits the praises of His people, shouldn't I praise Him anyway?

For God's greatness is not dependent on our interpretation or appreciation or mood.

Just as we vow to love our spouses in sickness and in health, in plenty or in want, we show our love for God by lifting His name in joy or in sorrow, in celebration and in pain.

He always deserves it.

Join Patricia at Typing One-Handed for more thoughts inspired by this quote.

The Little Stuff

Life wears on me.

Last week nothing monumental happened, nothing tragic or earth shattering, yet I deemed it a rotten week. Trouble in a relationship, unexpected major expenses, growing pains in our family, raging hormones and inconveniences which felt like they might send me over the edge, sapped my strength.

I asked God more than once, "Why does life have to be so hard?"

Can you guess the answer? I know I've talked about it before.

It doesn't have to be. TRUST ME!

If we can trust God for our eternal salvation, how can we not trust Him to provide for the “little” things of life?”

M.E. Howard

It's not that I don't trust Him, but Satan masterfully uses the "little stuff" to distract me from what I know to be true. He's the one who suggests I may lose it. He gets my mental calculator humming. He brings the worries to mind and throws in annoyances to keep me off kilter. He knows all he has to do is adjust my eyesight slightly and I'm a goner.

And I let him do it!

It's time to start fighting back and remembering what is true instead of falling for what isn't. Will you join me? When the "little stuff" wears on you, will you gain peace of mind and freedom from anxiety by focusing on God's promises instead of the problem? I gotta admit I really stink at this. I'm a dweller. I'll need your help. Remind me to rest in words like this, okay?

. . . those who hope in me will not be disappointed.

Isaiah 49:23

Amen Lord. Renew our hope. Keep us focused on Your Truth.

Join our host, Urailak, at Living for God for more takes on this quote.

The Beauty of Faithfulness

True confession time.

There are lots of mornings my computer is more appealing than my Bible. I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to skip church. Some days I'm a little ticked at God or disappointed in myself and praising Him is tough. I've silently complained on MANY occasions about having to do the right thing, wishing I could do what was easiest instead. There are tons of days I'd rather play on Facebook than write a blog post.

Yet if I don't do what I know to be right, if I neglect God and what He's asked me to do, why would He want to use me? Why would He show Himself to someone who gives Him nothing?

A runner does not finish a marathon without training. A house does not stay clean by itself. A child does not grow over night. A building is not completed in three days. Each take long-term, consistent attention. My relationship with God is no different.

If I want to hone a good relationship with Him, if I want to be included in His work, I cannot expect Him to do all the giving, can I? I cannot shirk my responsibilities, not even for one day.

To the faithful you show yourself faithful . . .

Proverbs 18:25

To the FAITHFUL--the persistent, consistent, trusting--He shows Himself faithful. I have a hard time being strong and self-disciplined and wise, but if I work to be faithful, I can be sure God will bring about changes in me. If I prove I take Him seriously by continually seeking Him, learning about Him, doing what He tells me, He'll show me more of Himself.

And when I'm not sure I have it in me, I remember faithfulness is built one day, one action at a time, in quiet moments alone with Him, in obedience no one sees. It comes as a result of saying yes to Him today, and then doing it again tomorrow and the next day and the next, for the rest of my life.

If I am faithful, I am promised His faithfulness. What is better than that?!

Make it so, Lord, make me faithful.

Now it's your turn. Write a post about this quote and leave your link here.

Hosting In "Other" Words This Tuesday

Hey friends, join the fun this Tuesday when I'll be the host for In "Other" Words. Think on the following quote.

To the faithful you show yourself faithful . . .

Psalm 18:25

What thoughts does this verse conjure up in you? Come back here Tuesday, May 31 to link up your post. I hope you can join us!

When Answers Aren't Coming

I have a confession to make.

I've been disappointed in God lately.

I've prayed over a certain situation the last few years, something I think I've been patient about, trusting in His timing, something that is not for selfish gain or recognition for myself, but the answer to my prayers is slow in coming, or rather, maybe not coming at all. I don't understand. It feels like all the trust I've put in Him means nothing.

I plead with Him, "God, this is such a small thing for You. Why don't You intervene? What are You doing? How bad does it have to get before You'll step in?"

And all I get back is, "Trust Me."

I fall into the trap of comparing and wonder why He answers others but not me. Why can't He give me a tangible reason to hope? My situation is not dire. It is not life and death, yet His lack of relief shakes my faith and I need to hear a word like this:

“To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights-—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.”

David Wilkerson
When All Means Fail (from his blog post on the day of his sudden death)

In the middle of the night, when anxiety keeps me awake and tears drip into my pillow, I pray and every once in a while, He meets me. I don't feel actual arms or hear an audible voice, yet I sense His embrace as an unexplained peace comes over me, like an enormous exhale releasing the tension from my body. I sense Him telling me, "I've got it. I hear you. Trust Me." I think of the song by Laura Story which says, "What if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know You're near?" And I'm thankful, truly thankful, to experience a supernatural moment. I'm thankful for the unanswered prayer which keeps me coming to Him. I try to be thankful for the trial itself, but I admit it's a little harder to do. I remember He is a faithful God and determine to keep trusting Him, even when answers are not coming.

I hold on for that elusive "one day" when everything will make sense, because I know life WITH Him is far better than life without Him.

What weighs on your heart and mind, friend? What makes you doubt God's love for you? Can you hold fast? Can you believe He has your best interests at heart? Can you keep trusting even when it doesn't make sense?

When answers aren't coming, He tests our faith, to see if it is genuine, based on an understanding of who God is rather than our need for a Fairy Godmother.

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:6-9

Praise God He loves us enough to make us authentic followers. Will you dare to trust Him?

Join our host Debbie of Heart Choices to see what this quote inspired in others.

Too Big For My Britches

I was the "good" kid in my family, the one who never got in trouble, who followed all the rules, who never gave her parents much to worry about (at least that's how I remember it!). My sister sowed some wild oats and my twin brothers fulfilled all the predictions when they were born that they would "be a handful."

I was the responsible oldest child who walked the straight and narrow. I read my Bible, went to church, participated in Fellowship of Christian Athletes and Bible studies. I didn't mean to do all those thing to impress God, but I was pretty sure He'd be happy with me. I suffered the taunts of my sister and cousin. I wore the badge of "good girl." I worked hard to be "spiritual" and "godly" and secretly smiled inside when someone called me "religious." Surely God would be pleased with me, right? I mean, look how much I had done, putting aside the folly of youth and concentrating on Him? I took pride in myself and when my siblings caused grief, I puffed up a little more, knowing I would never do that.

Pardon me for a moment while I throw up a little in my mouth.

Who did I think I was?! What is important to God? Does checking spiritual things off a list please Him? What traits does He find desirable?

“For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.”

Hosea 6:6

God wasn't impressed with my "sacrifices" in my attempts to be good. It was pretty easy to live a righteous life when I wasn't presented with any opportunities to do otherwise. My superior attitude was a result of being young and stupid, of not living through any real struggles.

I spent too much time making my outside look good, instead of polishing my inside. And that is where the danger comes for any of believer wanting to please God. We're tempted to put on a show with our "sacrifices" and "burnt offerings," our outer attempts to prove ourselves godly. We too easily fall into the appearance trap.

So how are we to act if we want to honor God?

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

Act justly. LOVE mercy. Walk HUMBLY with your God. Then we are truly righteous. Then we make Him smile.

For more thoughts on this week's quote, visit Nina at Mama's Little Treasures.

Not Letting the Devil Steal My Anchor

I prayed for my parents from the time I was old enough to understand what prayer was. Whenever the "D" word came up in their arguments, I'd go to my room, crawl under the covers and pray. God was supposed to be bigger than anything. If something could be done, He would be the One to do it.

Throughout my childhood, He provided small miracles, years where things were good between Mom and Dad. I thought my prayers were “working.” As I graduated from high school and left home, I knew they were in a down time, but I kept praying. God kept them together year after year and I trusted He would continue as long as I held up my end of the deal, coming before Him consistently and persistently.

But two days before my 29th birthday, in my 8th month of pregnancy with my second child, my biggest fear of childhood came true. My parents announced they were getting a divorce.

My pain came not only from my parents’ parting, but from my disappointment in God. Why did He stop hearing my prayers? Why now, after decades of earnest pleas, did He suddenly say no? Did He ever hear me? Could He be trusted with anything else? I was left in a funk for many months, being angry with God for what I perceived as His slap in my face, my prayers only questions, asking Him if I’d ever feel happy again.

Though I struggled, I couldn't shake the fact that He HAD done miracles in my life. He HAD proven Himself worthy in the past. It was this one thing, this one major thing He denied. Would I let the disappointment alienate me from Him? I had to ask myself which was worse, losing the family I'd always known or losing my faith?

I searched for the answers in the book of Job. Though he lived an upright life, Job was well acquainted with grief. God allowed Satan to torment him for no other reason than to prove he was a faithful servant. Is this the way God treats those He loves? Job had the same questions I did. What was God's answer to him?

Who are you?! Who are you to question Me? I am God. I created everything and will determine how everything will happen. What do you know, you human?

That's the Tami version of what He said, but you get the idea. Job encountered the living God and articulated the result well, "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know."

His words pierced my heart. God is God. Would I believe it and live like I did, accepting the good AND the bad? Or would I succumb to the taunts of a crafty serpent who took cheap shots? Satan whispered, "See? God doesn't really care about you. Look what happened to your parents. It doesn't matter how good you are or how hard you pray. God does whatever He wants, even if it hurts you." It was easy to wallow in his suggestions. I had every right to be uspet, didn't I?

But where did dwelling get me? How could I ever move on or heal if I stewed about how God let me down? I had to choose whether I would believe the best about Him or walk away, an even scarier prospect. I chose to rest in Him and His unknown and noticed when I trudged forward without blaming anyone, when I quit demanding an explanation, when I chose to trust the goodness of God in my pain, the sneaky suggestions diminished.

“Nothing irritates Satan more than us choosing God over our pain and suffering. We can endure everything if we know Jesus is sitting next to us."

by Joni Erickson Tada

My parents splitting up was bad, but it would be worse to lose my family AND my faith. I had to choose to believe God knew what He was doing. If I continued to blame Him, Satan would win. And I'd be left with nothing. How could I let him steal my anchor?

What are you facing this day, my friend? What tragedy, what trauma makes you doubt God? What lies does Satan whisper to you? Will you let him steal your faith too? When you choose God, though you may not understand and your heart hurts, you defeat the enemy, clearing the way for God's light to shine in your darkness, leading to a life of hope. Don't fall prey. Believe in the goodness of God and send Satan packing.

Don't let the devil steal your anchor.

See other thoughts spawned by this quote by joining Karen at In Love W.I.T.H. Jesus.

A Way to Cope

Hours before my dad's funeral, I walked into the church and greeted my sister. Upon seeing each other, tears filled our eyes. We embraced, then stared at the floor.

"This completely sucks," I said to break the tension.

I don't even remember her comeback, but it started a series of one-liners, the kind of comfortable banter we'd grown up using, the sort of silliness that always ended in laughter. It wasn't irreverence for our father, but a way of coping with our grief. It was a moment of release, a glimmer of normalcy, of hope, knowing life would go on, though this particular day would go down as one of our worst.

“Hope fills the afflicted soul with such inward joy and consolation, that it can laugh while tears are in the eye, sigh and sing all in a breath; it is called “The rejoicing of hope”

by William Gurnall

Hope is God's gift of blessed relief. It helps us rejoice in the middle of rotten days. Hope says, "This is not all there is. Something grander awaits." It shouts, "Better days are ahead." It reminds, "Though we don't know what God's doing, we know He is good." Hope whispers, "Trust. Rest. Believe. Know."

And when we dare to listen, when we let it seep into our shell-shocked minds, our sorrow is lessened, our burden lifted. A light pierces our darkness. Can you hear it?

This is not all there is.
Trust.
Better days are ahead.
Believe.
Rest.
God is good.
Know.

Hoping is not naive´. It does not deny an awful situation. Hoping is coping.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 5:1-5

Hope does not disappoint. Though our hoped for results may not come this side of heaven, they will come. Let yourself believe His best, my friend. Above all odds, trust His plan. Know He still works, though you may not see it. If you fan the flame of hope, rejoicing can come in your mourning.

Hoping is coping.

To see what thoughts this quote inspired in others, visit Twinkle Mom at Sunflower Faith.

Christianity's Greatest Gift

He lit up a cigarette in the parking lot after church and while he seemed oblivious to the stares of congregants leaving Sunday services, I was not. I knew what they were thinking and felt angry for him.

Did they know how far he'd come? Did they stop to look beyond the stick of nicotine hanging from his lips? Could they see his heart, his desire to be better, his own gracious spirit?

Some thought nothing, but some saw a guy smoking in the church parking lot and raised eyebrows at each other as they passed.

“Grace is Christianity’s best gift to the world, a spiritual nova in our midst exerting a force stronger than vengeance, stronger than racism, stronger than hate. Sadly, to a world desperate for this grace the church sometimes presents one more form of ungrace.”

by Philip Yancey
What’s So Amazing About Grace?

How do we put aside our notions of what is spiritually acceptable? How can we see others as Jesus does? Why is it so easy to overlook our own sin--disrespectful attitudes, impatience, gossip, selfishness--and judge those whose weaknesses are more visible?

In his commentary series on the Bible, theologian J. Vernon McGee tells the story of an audience member who took issue with him smoking a cigar.

"THAT sir," said the rotund gentlemen pointing to Mr. McGee's cigar, "offends me."

"And THAT sir," replied J. Vernon poking a finger into the man's belly, "offends me."

We all have sin issues. We all struggle with weaknesses. Isn't it time to stop pointing fingers and start holding each other up? What good does it do to look down our noses?

Grace is Christianity's best gift to the world . . .

Let's give it.

Join Patricia at Typing One-Handed for more thoughts on this quote.

God is God

"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."
In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.
~ Job 1:21b-22 ~

God is God.

That's what Job is really saying here.

God is God.

And as such, He is entitled to do whatever He deems necessary for His purposes to prevail. Good. Bad. Ugly. Difficult. Unexpected. If we worship God, we worship Him in ALL His work, not only the acts we like.

God is God.

Most of the time I can handle that, just letting God be God, but honestly there are times I don't get how He functions. There's the story of Jephthah in Judges 11 where he vows to the Lord, "If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph . . . will be the Lord's, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering." God gives Jephthah victory, but the first thing out of his house to greet him is his daughter, HIS ONLY CHILD. Jephthah stays true to his vow and kills her. Why would God require that?! Why did one slip up take away Moses's chance to enter the Promised Land? Why would God choose Jacob the deceiver over Esau the eldest?

God is God.

Why does God have mercy on whom He wants to have mercy and harden those He wants to harden? Why does He choose some and not others? Why did He draw me to Himself?

I don't understand. I can't explain it. Is it because I can't fathom the greatness of God? If I truly grasped His immense power would I even pose the questions? Is it my arrogance which doubts His judgment? Do I not see clearly because of His gracious dealing with me, holding back His might? Has His self-control babied me? Has my life been too cushy to recognize His sovereignty?

God is God.

I may not understand it. I may not even like it sometimes. But if I can't accept His authority He's not my God. He's just another person in my life. When I try to explain Him, I put Him on a peer level, not in a position of worship.

God is God. He won't be reduced to anything less, no matter what we think. Our acceptance is irrelevant.

God is God.

Join our host Miriam Pauline at MiPa's Monologue for more impressions of this quote.

The Answer

Lord, what am I supposed to be doing with my life?
What's the best way to parent my children?
How can I make better use of my time?
What does my friend need?
How will we pay for ___________ ?
How do I know You are pleased?
What specifically do You expect from me today?

Questions. So many questions. I'm persistent. I'm faithful. I believe He knows but He says nothing. I'm in the dark, taking each day as it comes.

Yet my lack of concrete answers keeps me searching. Would a solution make me complacent, give me security in myself? Would knowing hinder my faith journey? If I had the answers, would I find a reason to come before God?

I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?
~ C.S. Lewis ~

Somehow, in His presence, the questions are less urgent, the solution not as necessary. I may not know exactly what my kids need, but if I know HIM, He'll get me through. Seeking Him every morning will direct my days, my future. Not knowing where the money will come from sets me up for a miracle. Not understanding the needs of a friend ensures their name will be lifted to an Almighty God.

I waste time looking for specifics. Instead, I need to set my sights on THE Answer.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.
Sound simplistic? Sure. But what does faith hurt? The alternative is worry and anxiety. Which would you rather have?

To read more thoughts about this quote, visit our host, Jennifer at Ponderings of an Elect Exile.