Monday, May 05, 2008

The Crazy Way We Met

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
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When he asked if I'd like to go out some time I was a little taken aback. He was dating one of my best friends and we were meeting her for lunch. We had known each other since high school, but never really hooked up. I was starstruck with a different guy named Kevin, so I didn't pay much attention to this Kevin, the one who would become my husband. He was nice enough, but I LOVED, wanted, needed, let-me-bear-your-children the other one. Only the other one didn't feel the same way about me. He thought me a good friend he could tell all his girlfriends troubles to. I know. I lived it. ICK.

I'd always thought this Kevin a little wimpy. He thought me a little fat. (It's okay, people, we've moved on.) He was a fun-loving, decent guy, but I wasn't crazy about his velour shirts and I. . .well, I fit into the "she has pretty face" category which is a nice way of saying "if only she weren't so heavy". So even though I never imagined him as boyfriend material, when he asked if I wanted to go out sometime I was flattered. But there was this pesky problem about him dating my best friend.

"What would Lisa think about that?"

"It's no big deal. We'd just go do stuff together, that's it. Besides, she has her boyfriend at college and I'm her boyfriend at home. Can't I have you when she's gone and her when she's home?"

Then we had this conversation over lunch where Lisa thought it was okay too. Weird. Now let me assure you I'm no hussy. I wasn't a big hit with the gentlemen, you see and thought it would be fun to hang out with a guy for once. It was all on the up and up. There was no sneaking around. Everyone was aware of the situation. It wasn't naughty if I had her blessing, was it?

So we started this arrangement which worked out fine for a few weeks. Kevin and I had fun together and despite him throwing up on me at an amusement park on our first date, I kinda liked the guy. But things got more complicated when our friend moved home for the summer and wedding season began.

"I was planning on taking him to that wedding. Did you ask him already?"

"I thought he said he'd go with me. Isn't he going with you to the other one?"

The tension was more than I wanted to mess with. Finally I said to her, "Look, he's not all that important to me and this is hurting our friendship. I'm just going to stop seeing him." It seemed the best solution and honestly it didn't bother me that much.

The rest of the summer was uneventful. Lisa and I spent a lot of time at the lake together and there were no hard feelings. I knew I'd made the right choice. When she went back to school in the fall she met the man who would eventually become her husband. She broke it off with Kevin and a few months later he unexpectedly showed up on my doorstep. He became my boyfriend who wasn't my boyfriend and the rest is history.

And for the record, I know longer think him wimpy. In fact, after the last few weeks I think he's Superman and he's wondering what other organ I can have removed to keep my adoration flowing. He's a good guy, a really good guy whose velour shirts are long gone (for good, honey!). I can't imagine my life without him.

Wondering about the other Kevin? Last I heard he was living in San Francisco and enjoying the lifestyle there, if you know what I mean. Did God know what was best for me or what?

To read other beginnings, check out the Marriage Monday blog roll at Chrysalis.

18 comments:

e-Mom said...

Oh my, Tami! You tell it like it is... and I love it! What a great story. Isn't it funny to look back after all these years?

Well then, God knew which Kevin was best for you, didn't he? I'm glad Lisa found her man too. (Do you still keep in touch with her?)

It sounds like you're getting stronger now. Do take it easy, friend. Thanks for joining us for MM today.

Hugs, e-Mom :~D

MiPa said...

God certainly has a sense of humor when He is accomplishing His plan! It is truly amazing that your friendships could remain intact in it all. Thanks for sharing.

Keep taking caring of yourself my friend...and let superman do the house and kids stuff until you are fully recovered.

Lori said...

OK now that was the craziest story I have read so far on Marriage Monday.

Way to go!


Lori

Rachelle said...

Who knew having your gall bladder taken out, could make you fall in love with your husband all over again??? HHHmmmmm.............

Susan said...

Hey Tami,

Great story. Sounds like you're feeling better.

I have really enjoyed reading all these love stories.

So blessed you got the RIGHT guy! He he... or should I say, the REAL guy! That was so funny how you ended this.

Blessings to you my friend♥

Dianne said...

Very sweet . . . I love to read "how we met" stories~!

Connie Marie said...

I've gone to all everyones blog up to yours and I have to say your story is the most different!

May God continue to bless you both!

Living Beyond said...

I love it - but I can't believe the Lisa has her college boyfriend and her at home boyfriend - that made me laugh out loud.

Thanks for giggle and thanks for the real love that shines through.

Jennifer in OR said...

Oh. my. goodness. Now THAT is a story. Thanks for a good chuckle, and you know, God does have a sense of humor. :-) Blessings to you and yours!

Jen

Melanie said...

That is a great "How We Met" story. God always gets it worked out, doesn't he?

Constance said...

What a great story! I enjoyed reading the ups and downs and all the in between's! God, I'm convinced, has a sense of humor! If I had met my Hub at a different point in my life, I would never have looked twice. It wasn't the right time, that's all.

Thanks for stopping by. I couldn't help but notice that you are up in Cornhusker Country. We lived in Lincoln from 1986-1990 (Hub's job transfer). We absolutely loved our time there!

I snooped through a couple of your blogs since your reference to "having another organ taken out" caught my attention. I had to have my spleen removed 3 years ago (my stupid auto-immune disorder thing I have!) so I can sympathize with what you've had to go through. Happily, it sounds like you are on the upswing!
Blessings,
Connie

Brenda said...

Cute and funny story. Can you imagine if your daughter wanted to have the kind of dating arrangement you guys had that summer. I can hear you now. "Don't think so Kelsey." The things we do for love.

Living Beyond said...

PS did you do your new blog yourself or did you pay for it to be done? If you did it yourself please could you give me a lesson?

Thx lady

Lisa said...

I will have to say I have wondered what it will feel like to see part of my life in Tami's blog. She has and always been a great friend to me. She is a support for me even when she doesn't realize it. I am so blessed to have friends like them. Unfortunately, I don't remember the story about the wedding.

a note to living beyond, what makes you laugh out loud?

Anonymous said...

just wondering what the concern is about the "dating arrangement". I encourage my kids to date friends and more than one person. It is dating not marriage. Dating is the time to see how you relate to others. Keep it as friends, the best way for that is to date several people.

Tami Boesiger said...

e-Mom: YES, I DO keep in contact with Lisa (Did you catch her comment?). We live a few hours apart and don't see each other often, but we're hoping to see her more when our son goes to the same college her son attends.

Lisa: As I remember it, it was more than one wedding and it became a hassle. But who knows, as old as we're getting my brain could have messed the whole scene up. I'm blessed to have you as my friend and hope you read what I told e-Mom I wish for in the coming school year. Who would've thought we would be in our forties screaming, "Go, Lopers!" together?

Living Beyond: I wish I could say I designed the blog myself, but I needed help. Amy from Split Decisionz did it for me (see the link in the sidebar under the Marriage Monday button). She was reasonably priced, EXTREMELY PATIENT AND GRACIOUS, and very easy to work with. She has also been a tremendous help even after getting the job done. She's a great person. Go check out her site.

Tami Boesiger said...

Dear Anonymous,

I find the whole dating deal to be a matter of semantics. I encourage my kids to hang out with groups of friends and try to avoid using the word "dating" altogether.

I thought some might find my arrangement offensive because he was seeing one of my best friends which is why I addressed it at all. There was nothing dirty about it. I wasn't betraying anyone.

Thanks for leaving your comment and having the courage to speak up. I always appreciate that in people.

Lynn said...

Delightful... delightful. I smile all the way through!!