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When he asked if I'd like to go out some time I was a little taken aback. He was dating one of my best friends and we were meeting her for lunch. We had known each other since high school, but never really hooked up. I was starstruck with a different guy named Kevin, so I didn't pay much attention to this Kevin, the one who would become my husband. He was nice enough, but I LOVED, wanted, needed, let-me-bear-your-children the other one. Only the other one didn't feel the same way about me. He thought me a good friend he could tell all his girlfriends troubles to. I know. I lived it. ICK.
I'd always thought this Kevin a little wimpy. He thought me a little fat. (It's okay, people, we've moved on.) He was a fun-loving, decent guy, but I wasn't crazy about his velour shirts and I. . .well, I fit into the "she has pretty face" category which is a nice way of saying "if only she weren't so heavy". So even though I never imagined him as boyfriend material, when he asked if I wanted to go out sometime I was flattered. But there was this pesky problem about him dating my best friend.
"What would Lisa think about that?"
"It's no big deal. We'd just go do stuff together, that's it. Besides, she has her boyfriend at college and I'm her boyfriend at home. Can't I have you when she's gone and her when she's home?"
Then we had this conversation over lunch where Lisa thought it was okay too. Weird. Now let me assure you I'm no hussy. I wasn't a big hit with the gentlemen, you see and thought it would be fun to hang out with a guy for once. It was all on the up and up. There was no sneaking around. Everyone was aware of the situation. It wasn't naughty if I had her blessing, was it?
So we started this arrangement which worked out fine for a few weeks. Kevin and I had fun together and despite him throwing up on me at an amusement park on our first date, I kinda liked the guy. But things got more complicated when our friend moved home for the summer and wedding season began.
"I was planning on taking him to that wedding. Did you ask him already?"
"I thought he said he'd go with me. Isn't he going with you to the other one?"
The tension was more than I wanted to mess with. Finally I said to her, "Look, he's not all that important to me and this is hurting our friendship. I'm just going to stop seeing him." It seemed the best solution and honestly it didn't bother me that much.
The rest of the summer was uneventful. Lisa and I spent a lot of time at the lake together and there were no hard feelings. I knew I'd made the right choice. When she went back to school in the fall she met the man who would eventually become her husband. She broke it off with Kevin and a few months later he unexpectedly showed up on my doorstep. He became my boyfriend who wasn't my boyfriend and the rest is history.
And for the record, I know longer think him wimpy. In fact, after the last few weeks I think he's Superman and he's wondering what other organ I can have removed to keep my adoration flowing. He's a good guy, a really good guy whose velour shirts are long gone (for good, honey!). I can't imagine my life without him.
Wondering about the other Kevin? Last I heard he was living in San Francisco and enjoying the lifestyle there, if you know what I mean. Did God know what was best for me or what?
To read other beginnings, check out the Marriage Monday blog roll at Chrysalis.