It is quieter than normal in her living room. Though her smile normally lights up a room, today it is absent. Instead there are tears and confusion and deep, deep thought. She says something then stares at the floor. I hate to break the quiet and something in me tells me to wait, so I do. More pain comes gushing out and then more silence. The pattern continues and soon I find myself in wonder. My beautiful, beautiful friend is processing past hurt and emotions she has tried to avoid, simply because God says it is time.
He tells her, "Let it out, deal with it, feel it." While it cuts to her core, she decides she must because as she puts it, "I feel worse, but I know it's going to be better." Amid the sorrow there is hope. And I see the desire in her to know God more, to experience the freedom only He can give.
She knows it won't be fun. She's sure He'll ask her to do things she doesn't want to, but she'll do them. She's determined to follow Him wherever He leads. She has to. Her heart truly belongs to Him.
“Still, accepting God’s existence is one thing; honoring his command is another matter entirely, especially if we’re required to go back when we’d rather go forward.”
~Liz Curtis Higgs
And here I am, sitting on her couch, watching God do His thing, seeing her respond with humility and trust. She has never been more beautiful. My already high esteem jumps up considerably and I thank God I know this woman who challenges me to be better. God's touch is evident. I am so proud of her.
I can't help but wonder if I have that courage. Would I be willing to take a step back for God? Could I walk through pain only because God said it was necessary? I'd like to think I would, but just in case, I'll keep hanging with this girl. She's sure to lead the way.
For more impressions on this week's quote, visit Miriam Pauline's Monologue.